I warned you...it's Rambling and Random thoughts!!!!  

__JVT__ 44M
98 posts
5/9/2006 8:28 pm

Last Read:
6/11/2006 1:45 pm

I warned you...it's Rambling and Random thoughts!!!!


As I age, I realize more and more that finding anything that is truly black and white is harder and harder to do. It seems there is always an exception to the rule. It's like the Billy Joel song on his River of Dreams CD, A Hazy Shade of Grey.

If you have read my profile, then you know I have gotten into BDSM and am trying to learn more about it. This exploration has been underway for over a year now and I do have some real time experience under my belt.

Having said that, I would never claim to be an expert about BDSM, but I do feel I have a pretty good grasp of the basic premise. Guess what??? It's like any other relationship!!! It's based on trust and it is an agreement (sometimes spoken, sometimes left unsaid, but understood) between two people as to what each person's roles in the relationship is. So long as both people involved in the relationship understand and agree to abide by the arrangement, they are both happy and both safe, who has a right to stick their nose in and tell them they are wrong?

(Hang on...I am getting to my point here)

So what gripes me are the people who have appointed themselves to be the BDSM Police (you know who you are). If you don't agree with me about what it means to be a Dom or submissive, that's fine! That's your perogative! But don't try telling me I am doing it wrong!!! I am just as entitled to my opinion as you are to yours!

Until you can produce a degree, license or other documentation that shows me you are the be-all-end-all expert on BDSM...mind your own business and quit trying to tell the rest of us how we are doing it all wrong!!!

By the way...if you find yourself lurking in chat rooms (your name doesn't appear in the member's list) waiting for an opportunity to jump on someone who "isn't doing it right"...you might want to get a life!!!

MamChelle 48F  
1443 posts
5/10/2006 6:13 am

Well stated! i have been in the LS myself for nearly 25 years and know that the ones you refered to definantly need to get off line and practice what they preach. i fail sometimes to understand the judgemental attitudes in that basement chatroom, myself. If i ever do this to You please feel free to call me on it because it would be unintentional, and out of my usual scope of actions. c.


rm_isadoraswish 39F
3 posts
5/10/2006 3:14 pm

BDSM police... what a thought! Although I would love to design their uniforms...

Anyway, good point. My ONLY experience with BDSM is in real-time, and was introduced by a colleague turned lover... but i'm sure what it was for us is different than a BDSM relationship between two other people. So what? As long as you're happy and it works for you, do as you please to please each other.


qosmann 66M

6/9/2006 6:33 pm

hey, JVT my friend, as I like to say, the world of BDSM covers a multitude of sins, and one needs to adapt.

to be quite frank, it is a real turnoff to me to be in chatrooms with certain types, and it is they whom I wish would take their self centered beliefs elsewhere, and leave the rest of us to enjoy our relationships in the manner that we believe works for us.

take care, my friend


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