A word about honesty.  

_HighDesertGirl_ 35F
10 posts
2/3/2006 8:36 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A word about honesty.

I have it listed in my profile that I have Herpes.
It's no secret to anyone.It's also no secret that 1-4 adult women have it.
I got an email today from a guy who knows I have it.He thinks I owe him sex because he has it too.That's really a bad approach.I returned his email and told him I was not interested.I already have a man that I see off and on and I only play with women or maybe a couple if they are both nice.
I also suggested that he list Herpes in his profile.That way women who have it can find him.
He sent me another email and sounded offended that I would not just come right over and fuck him!
I hate to block people,but he thinks I owe him sex because we both have herpes...Does this happen to everybody? I hope not....There are a lot of people on AdultFriendFinder who have it.You would be surprised at the number of people who email me telling me they have it,but don't list it in their profiles.A lot of their profiles say D&D free...Imagine that.
If more people would just come out and say they have it,it wouldn't even be an issue.
Why not Just be out in the open?

scottdammit11 53M

2/3/2006 10:53 am

I started reading your blog because I was intrigued by your honesty, and I applaud it. I don't have Herpes, but I am just lucky, not any better of a person. I don't know if I'd be as brave as you.
I try to be honest about everything, though. Even when it bites me on the ass...
Hang in there, and stay true to yourself!

rm_catlover50 92M

2/3/2006 11:27 am

High Desert Girl,

I am glad that you are back. As you well know, some men are just jerks and assholes. On your question, "Does this happen to you?". Nope it doesn't. But then I am not a pretty young gal either. I don't know why people don't list herpes on their profiles unless they are afraid that someone they know will find out that they have herpes. Or they are afraid that it will lessen their chances of hooking up with someone and they would rather lie about it. I know that there are some men out there who would like to give herpes to women to get back at women because a women gave it to them.

frogger1995 39F

2/4/2006 1:47 pm

I applaud your honesty. It's individuals like you who make all STDSs less of a stigma. After going through a panic phase where I thought I had everything under the sun (and thankfully don't) I learned a lot about STDs. 1-4 seems a bit high...you should point out that a lot of those stats include oral herpes (cold sores) as well, which really aren't STDs since most people get it as kids.

Again...here's to you and your honesty.

rm_corezon 53F
3376 posts
2/4/2006 8:40 pm

Some people are just jerks...

Still not everybody wants to advertise some things...some people with herpes get a breakout once and never again...some stay in remission and only rarely break out in certain circumstances...the antiviral meds can keep most people from breaking out if you take it when you feel symptoms coming on...the itching and stinging before a breakout is common.

And you can't transmit it if you are in remission. You only shed virus and are infectious when you are breaking out. A good friend of mine was married to a man with herpes (he was a doctor, actually) for several years and never had a breakout. We were both lab techs, we did an antibody titer on her when she first started dating him with which was positive (they hadn't slept together yet, she was concerned) and she took it to her dermatologist for a consult.

Food for thought: Her dermatologist said 80% of the population has already been exposed to either type I (oral) or type II (genital)herpes virus and there is some cross immunity possible...in other words, alot of people have been exposed and never will break out. I think there is less to be concerned about with people with known herpes than for people HIV positive that have no symptoms at all.

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