Massage  

_CoffeeNoCream_ 53F
6527 posts
9/6/2005 12:47 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Massage

A good friend of mine recommended a massage therapist named Sidney.

"He's cutting edge, Coffee. You'll love him, he knows all the tricks"

This morning I learned that Sids tricks "cutting edge" refers to the way Sid burrows his elbows into the pain, my pain. My love at first sight for Sidney was over real quickly.

Yes I know I am antediluvian, but I consider massage a time to relax and possibly pass out from ecstasy. Sid has an entirely different view on this matter. He believes that physical problems come from muscles attaching to the bone or something. I couldn't hear him over my moaning and squealing.

Here is Sid's method, and I swear to not exaggerate: He begins with "very deep and profound tissue work," or crushing your muscles till you cry for time out. At that point Sid knows he has identified a MTA as in Major Trouble Area, which of course requires extra crushing, whick leads to more agony. That's where the elbows come in.

Sid : "There were 500 people in my massage school, and not one of them used this technique..."

Coffee : AHHHHHHHHHHHH

I found that hard to believe.

He explained to me the true nature of "knots," the kind of thing you learn only by some divine revelation, while he mounted me with his elbows.

The pain grew so intense that (still not exaggerating!)I had a bad trip. No kidding. It dawned on me that Sid could be that docter's evil twin brother from the one that played in the movie "Marathon man". I started to get dizzy and stood up.

Sid: "Need a break? I'll get you some water."

Coffee : " Yes please"

When Sid returned, I was completely dressed, keys in hand. I confessed to a headache that must surely have come from too much healing. Sid asked if he had gone too deep, and I assured him that he had not. I feared mainly that his water glass was filled with some deadly poison.

As I left his place, Sid waved after me and said, "Trust me, you'll feel great in a couple of..."

But I was already gone.
I owe a certain friend of mine some MTA of her own.

Liefs Coffee


Nubiandream004 55M

9/6/2005 4:42 am

HILARIOUS! Hey, I offered you a massage a long time ago...you should have accepted. Of course we both know it would have been more sensual than therapeutic. Welcome back Madame Coffee, you were missed.

P.S. It's way too early in the morning to use words like "antediluvian."


Erik_Bloodaxe 56M

9/6/2005 4:46 am

Well......as they say, "no pain, no gain". You need to toughen up, young lady!

Erik The Sadist


yesbelg 55M
118 posts
9/6/2005 7:35 am

Just use for massage
only fingers and fingertips
it should be relaxing
Softly rolling and rubbing
in the right directions
to loosen the muscless
But hey, i'm just a simple neighboor
with arms that are too short to give it too you
from overhere, sorry for that


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
9/6/2005 10:35 am

I had a similar thing happen in Kona a few years ago. To this day I don't know why I did not tell the son of a b&^%$ to shove his elbows up his a@@.

Yours was the first blog that got me hooked and I'm so glad you're back.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


ByteChaser2 53M

9/6/2005 11:49 am

man... Sid sounds like my dentist... "The Mangler". A true sadistic artist with a dental drill and sharp pointy stainless steel instruments!

Next time, get a female masseuse. They have a lighter touch - I'm the same way as you I guess. I can do without the deep, organ rupturing treatment as well.


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
9/6/2005 3:39 pm

You haven't tried my massage therapist!
She starts really gently but by the time
she is done your tolerance to pain has
been exercised to the fullest! But she is
really very, very sweet in all her
one hundred and fifty kilograms.


CuteAZguy27 39M
1545 posts
9/7/2005 2:07 am

Well Sid gave you an experience you won't forget ...in a diffrent kind of way, well in all things im glad your back as well

-CuteAZguy27


rm_anngneer 43M

9/7/2005 7:44 am

Didn't he cameo as the dentist in "Little Shop of Horrors"? Sounds like he did more damage than good! Glad you're back though, looking forward to the next blog!

xxx

Anngneer


whiskEynowater 55M
204 posts
9/7/2005 8:04 am

Has studied massage and relexology in Tibet for 7 years with Brad...I am only too glad to help


whiskEynowater 55M
204 posts
9/7/2005 8:04 am

I could arrange for Brad to massage you


whiskEynowater 55M
204 posts
9/7/2005 8:05 am

stick


whiskEynowater 55M
204 posts
9/7/2005 8:05 am

ah it worked


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
9/8/2005 5:26 am

ooooo thats my type of massage,are you sure his name was sid not my hubby


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


_TeaNoMilk_ 53F

9/18/2005 2:32 pm

pls gimme sid's phonenumber ?


_TeaNoMilk_ 53F

9/18/2005 2:34 pm

Can you pls do my back mr Whiskey ?


_TeaNoMilk_ 53F

9/18/2005 2:35 pm

and my front ?


rm__AnyGirl_ 51F
246 posts
9/21/2005 2:28 am

Coffee in all seriousness my good friend..work less hard..that way you will avoid the deep penetration of thi stype of massage. Go for the loving type massage ..with a lover..with scented oil..with soft music. I can provide a phone number if you wish.


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