Letter from the past  

_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F
6527 posts
5/8/2005 12:57 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Letter from the past

Hi Lief,

For all of the letters I write you and for all of the conversations we have had, somehow I feel as though I never have really communicated that well with you. Maybe it was that I didn't listen well, maybe I didn't listen to myself as well. Lately I think I am finding some clarity or am at least able to view my thoughts and feelings with onesty. So it really matters a lot to me to communicate them to you. When I fell in love with you it was the most beautiful experience that I can ever recall happening to me. The excitement, the butterflies, the ache of desire, it was all so breathtaking, it made all of life seem new and alive. You are so very special, whether viewed through the pink glasses of new found love or through my green eyes. I seemed to lose track of my common sense with the grand sweep of emotion. You and I had both made it clear that our lives were just fine before, just something was missing or amiss. But in my mad rush of passion and desire, I neglected to use my common sense. As the great lover and friend to me that you are, you put up with the results the best you could, although I thought you cold and distant and could not figure out where love had gone astray. Yes, my insecurities went into overdrive, complete with my dreaded jealousy. I really do hate that side of myself. The longer I loved you, the more I put my dreams into you and took them away from my life here. Easy enough to do, I was and am enamored with you. Yet, I am a person that needs a reason. I don't believe in an afterlife and if I don't have goals and dreams and a path that I can see to get to them, I find myself wandering aimlessly, maybe it would be called depression. Although I have given you to many apologies in the past, I want to apologize to you for putting pressure upon you to give me you to look forward to. Life now? I spend a lot of time thinking, soulsearching.
I am in love with you and sometimes life without you hurts like hell and sometimes life without you brings me a memory of you that gives me a smile and makes me happy. Like you recently wrote once, I too, wish that I was a hermit. Yet, that isn't my fate and I have to face the realities of my life and make decisions and follow dreams. As much as I can live my life to the fullest, in my heart I realize that I won't be complete until I kiss your lips again. I wrote your "mistake" and you were hurt. That day, I had a Sheryl Crow song running through my head, don't really like her, but there is a line about some guy being her "favorite mistake".....wasn't met as a bad thing and I never mean to hurt you. Hope that you are doing better than fine.

love always,

Coffee


Erik_Bloodaxe 56M

5/8/2005 9:09 am

Feel like a voyeur having read your post.


ChrisDL 47M

5/8/2005 11:24 am

What a beautiful letter - how cruel is love to provide such ups and downs


Jerosd 47M

5/8/2005 11:41 am

Sometimes love letters are just that...letters to fall in love with


leyndokona2 49F

5/8/2005 12:30 pm

Not even crazy glue is working to stick my comments on your posts. What's happening?


leyndokona2 49F

5/8/2005 1:30 pm

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

* Friedrich Nietzsche


leyndokona2 49F

5/8/2005 1:57 pm

Men are like ... Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.


_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F

5/9/2005 8:18 am

*hands Erik her diary*
read it all....lol


GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
5/9/2005 9:19 am

ok... third try for a comment .....


lustmirror 63M
2897 posts
5/10/2005 1:24 pm

Love finds us fair and freely
and then proceeds to present itself
without directions, and always at a cost.

To love, is to accept
and not question the bargain
A lover will enter, and fall...
and not ignore a single aspect.

Love is of Truth, eventually,
and Truth is of Love.
A hard Truth is eternal Love.


leyndokona2 49F

5/10/2005 1:26 pm

Soooo true nipa but best to have loved and still be in love


dutchpete 54M
563 posts
5/11/2005 9:34 am

When all letters have been written, as described, it might be hoped that they have not been posted by bottle mail. As those letters tend to drift in any directions, like aimless wandering.


dutchpete 54M
563 posts
5/23/2005 7:39 am

Sometimes it is good to become aware you miss something.
Hopefully it will not be the person but just small things.


_TeaNoMilk_ 52F

6/7/2005 6:46 am

wow....I will start writing you , Pete


_TeaNoMilk_ 52F

6/7/2005 6:47 am

Men are like Tea....@ Leyndo


_TeaNoMilk_ 52F

6/7/2005 6:47 am

are my comments really sticking ?


_TeaNoMilk_ 52F

6/7/2005 6:48 am

seems like they are sticking


N11CKG 58M

6/13/2005 9:21 am

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.


_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F

6/16/2005 3:05 am

Nice to see you here @ nick


_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F

6/16/2005 3:06 am

nips you still at thought room ?


_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F

6/16/2005 3:06 am

*pokes Nips*..."wake up"


beech1234 47M

6/23/2005 12:56 pm

Life is full of favorite mistakes...sometimes they become the most precious parts of our lives (such as an unplanned child or pet you really had no business getting), and other times a thorn in the side that you can't seem to remove (like the hasty marriage that loses its spark or the dream job that turns out to be like every other after the honeymoon is over). The important thing is we learn something from our mistakes, even if some of them are worth repeating over and over. And many of them are!


beech1234 47M

6/23/2005 1:01 pm

And for the record, Coffee, since Sheryl Crow provided some inspiration for this particular blog I hope you could see fit to giving her another chance (or listen, rather). She has an incredible catalog of music with very meaningful and moving lyrics. The radio doesn't do her justice. Who knows...maybe your indifference to her music could end up being one of your favorite mistakes. I would be happy to make some suggestions of songs you probably havent heard.


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