Farting  

_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F
6527 posts
12/27/2005 6:45 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Farting

"You're very windy at the moment", J says while we lie on the sofa watching the Simpsons.

We've reached that comfortable stage in our relationship where I can fart in front of him. J doesn't fart anywhere near as much as I do, but I assume it's because he doesn't eat as much eggplant as me.

Obviously I still only fart about half the amount that I would if I were on my own, but this is because I have been brought up well.

Now I politely warn everyone around me before I do the deed - "Erm, I'm just going to fart, okay?"
It's a rhetorical question.

I let one rip, making sure it's a good one because I don't want people to think I have abnormally gassy bowels. This means I can only sneak them out after this for at least an hour.

Now that J has pointed out that he has registered the excessive windiness of my bottom, I blame it on the eggplant and clench my buttocks. I don't want to come across as common.

My insides grumble....

"I'm just going to er... make a cuppa" I explain, as I nip out to the kitchen to fart.

Liefs Coffee
(pity "windy" isn't a mood here)


_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F

12/27/2005 2:03 pm

are there more like me ????


vuderhose 45M

12/27/2005 6:41 pm

I admire your tact. I can not begin to tell you the stories involving 'It wuddnt Me' elevator rides, etc.
I, also, like the fact that you "ripped a good one".
That's moxy!
Keep bein you.....(.........)
I love egg-plant.


Sulabula 45F
12659 posts
12/28/2005 3:54 am

I fart a lot...and I warn people when I do

Sula xxx

come visit my blog


warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
12/28/2005 5:38 am

Nipafluff is right - if Blogland is going to cover christmas properly in its posts then farting has to be there and you are carrying out your bounden duties as a blogger to report accordingly. Of course we'll all smile politely (particularly we brits) and pretend we're so much more discreet. As if!


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
12/28/2005 12:57 pm

I thought that Chicago was the "windy city" but
it looks like the Netherlands takes the lead!!!!


Valdrane78 38M

12/28/2005 11:46 pm

I like to pretend that women don't do that, or do anything besides pee. But hey, that is me.

BANG! POW! BOOM! a study in useless knowledge and sick humor!
I want a damn soundtrack to my blog!


_TeaNoMilk_ 52F

12/30/2005 2:16 pm

*farts*


_TeaNoMilk_ 52F

12/31/2005 2:46 am

I am not breathing......


_TeaNoMilk_ 52F

12/31/2005 2:47 am

*coughs*


_TeaNoMilk_ 52F

12/31/2005 2:48 am

This is lethal.....


rm_Mrs_Mac 55F
66 posts
1/6/2006 1:50 am

such a smell.....blugh !!


rm_Mrs_Mac 55F
66 posts
1/6/2006 1:50 am

but hey its only human...and thats what you are Mrs Coffee, human and female.


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