DILF's  

_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F
6527 posts
3/27/2006 11:21 pm

Last Read:
4/7/2006 12:54 am

DILF's

You may have noticed that J and I drive each other crazy. Anyone eavesdropping on us might come to the conclusion that we detest each other. But if you take everything we say literally, sure it sounds bad, but I think it's more a reflection on your lack of imagination than our lack of love. I mean, isn't it conceivable that "dickhead" can be a term of endearment? Perhaps not many people would agree with that, or even understand it, but here's the deal: I am not a conventionally affectionate person. I hate cuddles. I tolerate hugs once a fortnight. I prefer to skip the kissing and "get to the good part". And I don't often say "I love you." I rarely say it. Sometimes I say "That'll do, shithead" and in my mind, that's just as good. Fortunately, J has evolved during our years together, to the point where he can now interpret Coffeespeak.

J says: “Did you miss me today?”
Coffee says: “Nope.”
J says: “I missed you too.”

See? We live in peace, honest! Disregard J's bruised kidneys. He totally deserved that. We often poke each other and wrestle around on the ground. We call it ”forplay”. We also enjoy seeing who can come up with the best insults. For a while, I reigned with the old "Haha, look at your receding hairline trick!".Classic stuff. But soon he barely cried at all when I said that, which means it was time to switch tactics.

Coffee says: “Know who I have a crush on?”
J says: “No, dear, who?”
Coffee says: “Your dad.”
J says: “What?!?!”
Coffee says: “Your dad is totally hot. He's a Dilf for sure.”

You are probably familiar with the concept of the Milf - Mum I'd Like to Fool around with (ha…. as if I wouldn't say Fuck. I like to self censure for no apparent reason). Apparently, I really struck a nerve when I called J's dad a Dilf. J didn't like it, not one bit. In fact, I could see the vein in his receding hairline pulsing violently when I said it. I made sure to point that out to him.

And the greatest part is, I'm not even lying. J's dad is hot. I mean, he's no J, but he's not bad for a J-plus-20 years. Which is a relief. But not to J, who thinks this is the worst news since learning that lard is not a food group.

Anyway, I'm sure I can't be the only one. Surely there must be cases of Mums (and dads) I'd Like to Fondle all over the world. I mean, even J has admitted that he finds my grandmother to be sexually attractive. Surely the hot granny phenomenon is at least as taboo as the milf-dilf thing. Granted, you haven't met my grandmother, so it's hard to judge. Just trust me on this one.

But in the end, I wouldn't like to do any f-words with J's dad. Some of them I don't even want to do with J. I just like to keep him on his toes. Plus, if a woman like me went around professing my love for him, his ego would overinflate and his head would explode, and frankly, a headless husband has little use to me. There are things he does with his head that I quite enjoy.

Liefs C


ArgosPlumyKooky 45F
3902 posts
3/28/2006 4:37 am

lol! you got it


libgemOH 56M/52F

3/28/2006 4:38 am

Coffee, All I know is I love hearing about you and J! You 2 have got the type of "comfortable with each other and still madly in love" relationship that I have always wanted for myself and I think it is wonderful!

Geez, that sounded soppy, huh? Oh well, ignore and carry on! -B


ByteChaser2 52M

3/28/2006 9:01 am

Yeah... There was a time when the Battle-Axe and I got along like that. It is kind of fun yeah?


dutchpete 54M
563 posts
3/28/2006 10:39 am

A headless hubby is indeed useless whether it would be his brainpowered one or the dickhead.

And isn't there a saying that opposite attracts ?

Zai Jian, from midnite HongKong


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/28/2006 11:15 am

groovy post! love it


rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
3/28/2006 11:38 am

Insults are sometimes more loving and sexy than the soft..soppy words. Used to have a lover..that..anytime we were together more than 5 minutes..we would fight like cats and dogs. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. We've been apart for years..but still frequently talk on the phone..and still end up fighting..if we talk for any length of time.

kiss

Kiss


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
3/28/2006 11:42 am

Poor J!!!!!!


curvymeli 39F

3/28/2006 12:02 pm

My Dad was 54 when I was born, so by the time I was in college he was about 70. My FRIENDS used to say they'd do him!!
We have a picture of him at his 80th birthday party. He is in a lawn chair, talking to a group of not less than TEN women from age 25-60. Not one of them was related to him, and they all were gazing at him in rapt attention. LOL
How my mother did it for 30 years is way beyond me, she fought them off constantly, and you know Daddy wasn't complaining!
Lucky for you that you have a hot man to keep looking forward to!!


Lioness_girl 45F
3494 posts
3/28/2006 1:17 pm

LOL...I'm learning a thing or two from you here. Now I know why I'm called certain things at certain times

Lioness_girl

Come have fun! Visit my blog at Lioness_girl


rm_blackvanman2 55M
31 posts
3/28/2006 7:23 pm

wondering if anybody sees me as a "DILF".......


wildoats19622 54M
3483 posts
3/28/2006 7:23 pm

DILFs, I love it.

Would I do my mother in law?

Not in a million years (that's her age too)

Ever seen the movie "Harold and Maude" It's a love story about a 20 year old guy and an 80 year old woman. There's one line that slays me.
Mother (talking on phone)
Harold: I've met someone
Mother: That's nice (continues talking on phone)
Harold: Here's her picture
Mother: I'll call you back

Wild

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


mangomamiCT 41F

3/28/2006 10:09 pm

I think if you said his mom he woulda freaked out more , or not and that would be bad , oh nevermind I'm shutting up now


GB_Cple 66M/55F  
3037 posts
3/29/2006 5:31 am

Well , by looking at J's dad , ur know what he will be like in 20 years , could be an advantage ... ? or maybe not?


redswallow777 48M
6810 posts
3/29/2006 8:36 am

It all makes perfect sense to me. You sound like long term lovers of the teasing kind.

But I need to share.....
In the middle of reading your post I got a phone call. I said "hello"....the female voice at the other end said...."this is euphoria calling, I just want to remind you that you have an appointment tomorrow at 3:45."

Who was I say to say she wasn't euphoria.....and that I didn't have an appointment with her. It took me a minute or two to get my bearings......

My hairdresser's place is Euphoria.....and I was being reminded of an appointment I have tomorrow.

Things are often not what we imagine them to be......(red rolls his eyes.)


MOfunNOWWOW 55F

3/29/2006 8:53 am

Let's hear it for good head! On the shoulder or otherwise


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


FeistySyn 51F

3/29/2006 7:52 pm

thx for the grins ... too funny, this was a very good one.

Apparently the depth of depravity here is bottomless... don't you feel right at home?
~~~~~


womanoirish 53F

4/4/2006 10:32 pm

    Quoting redswallow777:
    It all makes perfect sense to me. You sound like long term lovers of the teasing kind.

    But I need to share.....
    In the middle of reading your post I got a phone call. I said "hello"....the female voice at the other end said...."this is euphoria calling, I just want to remind you that you have an appointment tomorrow at 3:45."

    Who was I say to say she wasn't euphoria.....and that I didn't have an appointment with her. It took me a minute or two to get my bearings......

    My hairdresser's place is Euphoria.....and I was being reminded of an appointment I have tomorrow.

    Things are often not what we imagine them to be......(red rolls his eyes.)
LOL...my hairdresser's place is Epiffani...imagine my surprise when I got a telephone reminder; "hello, this is Epiffani..." while I waited excitedly for a wonderous truth to be revealed to me.


womanoirish 53F

4/4/2006 10:35 pm

And Coffee, thanks for the best laugh I've had all day. still giggling


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