Coffee Ramblings  

_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F
6527 posts
5/1/2006 1:23 pm

Last Read:
5/25/2006 1:31 am

Coffee Ramblings

I am forty years old, a mother and a wife. The lady in the local bakery shop stopped calling me “Miss” quite some time ago.

Why is it then that most of the time I feel like I’m only pretending to be a grown up? Putting on a front. Going through the motions of what seems to be expected of someone my age, unsure whether my heart is really in what I’m doing. From the vantage point of childhood, grown ups seemed so different, so complete, so together. The phrase “one day, when you are grown up…” held such tantalising promise.

But here I am, with four decades already behind me, and I’m not quite sure I belong here. Underneath the play acting, there is a girl who often wonders why adulthood doesn’t feel like she thought it would.

Liefs Coffee

rm_punkitty 46F

5/1/2006 1:56 pm

I feel the same way, like someone will call me on it! I think now, maybe everyone puts up some front!

clevergirl4U 58F

5/1/2006 2:02 pm

My great aunt told me she felt like this at 90!

I act like a grownup for my son's benefit...otherwise I feel pretty young and still unformed. Don't know that I would ever want to arrive at a fully grown-up place...there wouldn't be much left to do

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
5/1/2006 2:05 pm

I'm older than you are...and I still feel that way. And when someone calls me "young lady" still feels right. Although I am far from a young lady.

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
5/1/2006 2:42 pm

i love being called a Miss still,and surely were only as old as the man were feeling

I'm a

i'm here to stay

HBowt2 58F

5/1/2006 3:40 pm

yep...sometimes i get quite a shock when i look in the mirror.....

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
5/1/2006 4:06 pm

I absolutely agree with you - when DOES that happen? But you know what? More often than not, I am delighted that it is this way. When I was very young, I thought that growing up would somehow involve me not being who I felt I really was. And the good thing is - we don't have to give that particular person, either.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

TammyDHU 45F
246 posts
5/1/2006 4:09 pm

I can sympathize.

I'll be 35 this year. I'm continually appalled at how I possibly could have traded my thirties for my twenties.

Wonder if my forties won't be just as confusing...???

Green_Tea_Boy 49M
1064 posts
5/1/2006 4:40 pm

yep... I often wonder how I got here...

last thing I really remember was a party in Winetavern St on 20th January 1985... now its 2006 and I seem to be all grown up.. can grow a beard and have 3 kids... oh and worse still I have a responsible job... how the feck did that happen?

libgemOH 56M/52F

5/1/2006 7:13 pm

OMG, I usually say I feel like I'm running around in my mommy's clothes and pretending to be her! Adulthood is one of those things that doesn't come with instructions and is on the job training all the way!! *HUGS* from another overgrown kid!! -B

ArgosPlumyKooky 45F
3902 posts
5/1/2006 7:33 pm

i thought only i felt like i was pretending. . . let's all return to the play yard. . .forget this other stuff. . .really, i can relate to what you are saying.

rm_blackvanman2 55M
31 posts
5/1/2006 8:26 pm

"time can tear down buildings
or destroy a woman's face
hours are like diamonds
don't let them waste
time waits for no one
and it won't wait for me" Jagger/Richards

GB_Cple 66M/55F  
3038 posts
5/1/2006 11:05 pm

<<<<<<<<<<<< 55 going on 21

wildoats19622 54M
3483 posts
5/1/2006 11:50 pm

Friday I did some physically demanding groundskeeping at work. I'm still sore. I'm too young to stay sore from work.

I always feel like I'm pretending. I don't know when I'll grow up. Want to play hide and seek? I'm too tired for tag.


Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.

mycin62 54F

5/2/2006 5:45 am

I so totally get what you're saying. Clocking in at 44 here, but how did I get here? I sure don't feel 44!!!

interested13563 53M
2557 posts
5/2/2006 5:38 pm

Because you are playful and we like you like this!!!

Erik_Bloodaxe 56M

5/3/2006 4:52 am

Only dull people grow up.

dutchpete 54M
563 posts
5/3/2006 7:02 am

Yooh babe, wanna play with me in the 'zandbak' or do some 'knikkeren'?


dutchpete 54M
563 posts
5/3/2006 7:09 am

From 0-20,
experiences plenty

From 20-40
it is worth thee

From 40-60
Raising till a higher dgree

From 60-80
Things still mighty

From 80-100
it will be non-plussed

Tijger1974 41M
49 posts
5/3/2006 11:42 pm

I know I'm only pretending to be grown-up... but then the things I think and do in my spare time are fairly, umm, 'adult'; perhaps being grown-up is all about faking it?

GleesFlakyShawl 49M
1620 posts
5/4/2006 11:56 am

oh yup, im just 20 years old...with 20 years of experience

southrnpeach333 50F

5/7/2006 7:54 am

Yep, I am still 20 waiting for the wisedom to come. But until it does I will just keep pretending I know what I am doing. Although I think my kids are starting to be on to me.

SirMounts 102M

5/8/2006 12:37 am

That was a very wonderful piece to read in every way, CoffeeNoCream.
Thank you for that. have a very enjoyable blog. *smiling*

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