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Let's Talk About Sex, Bay-bee!
Let's Talk About Sex, Bay-bee!
Before I begin today, I'm curious - anybody else notice all the members with strikingly similarly-formatted names, usually two random-looking words separated by 4 or 5 random-looking numbers in the middle? Stuff like "top4236chewy" or "hott03994bug (I made these two up myself, btw)? What's up with this? Are these possibly "fake" members, somehow? If you have a name formatted like this or are aware of what it's about, please let me know what's up. 'Cos I think I smell a conspiracy, and I'd like to know if I'm smelling correctly.
So let's talk about sex. Why are so many people here on AdultFriendFinder anyway? What are we all looking for? Why is sex SO fucking important to so many of us? My poll above (appreciate the votes, btw - all four of them. ) covers many of the commonly voiced reasons why sex matters to people. But it's not all that simple, is it? Actually, it's simpler. Behind all the gloss, we're really just slaves to basic biological/psychological/emotional urges. As for all the high-falutin' talk of "spirituality" and "connections", I think that we're mostly just fooling ourselves. That euphoria you feel? It's just hormones and chemicals. You'd feel the same thing during any aerobic excercise. They call it a "runner's high", among other things. That deep sense of spiritual connection? Partly the euphoria, mixed with the physical pleasure, blended with about a dozen-odd psychological and emotional factors. In other words, NONE OF IT IS REAL.
So, you may ask, why am I here, then? What am I looking for personally, if I have so little regard for sex? Well, the "deep, meaningful" baloney aside, sex is still good. After all, it's FUN. Just like playing video games, riding a roller coaster, or watching a summer blockbuster in the theater. It's an enjoyable leisure activity. It engages the mind and emotions. But just like those things, it's little more. I'm here to connect as friends with others, and I'm here to fuck those friends - Because I enjoy it. No weird baggage or dysfunctional strings attached, just pure physical fun. Nothing wrong with that, right?
The only attraction about sex that's close to "real" is the pleasurable physical sensations, particularly orgasm. But even that's just an evolutionary necessity, as we would've died out long ago if sex didn't hold an appeal for us.
My views might seem cynical to you types who see sex as the deepest, most spiritual experience on Earth. But they're really not cynical at all. I love sex. It rocks. I also deeply love my girlfriend, and we fuck constantly. But for us, the sex and the love are mutually exclusive. We don't NEED to fuck to feel in love, and we don't have sex BECAUSE we're in love. We do both, but they don't really have much to do with each other.
Still, I admit that we enjoy sex more because of our love for each other. But then again, we also enjoy eating out more, playing video games more, and sitting down to watch a movie more. Because it's not WHAT we're doing that matters; our love enhances EVERYTHING we do together. And just like eating, playing video games, etc, we feel free to fuck anybody we please. True, it's "not the same" as when we have sex with each other, but as I said, that's only because NO leisure activity with friends or strangers is the same as it is between lovers. So this by no means invalidates the fact that sex is only chemical, psychological, and emotional.
Now let me wax metaphysical for a bit. I don't like to identify with my body, or even my emotions - which are really just electro-chemical reactions within the body. Think about it. Certain foods and drugs can alter your feelings and thoughts just like flipping a damn switch. So that's obviously not actually YOU. Anyway, if we're not truly our bodies, minds, or feelings, then what ARE we? I believe we are pure spirit - "spiritual beings having a human experience", if you will. With that in mind, what is sex, really? Absolutely nothing. We're obsessed with sex because we're obsessed with physical sensation, or emotional highs...because we believe that our feelings and bodies are US. With sex put in its proper place - as just another way to enjoy our experience as human beings - I think we can enjoy it without this inane obsession so many feel.
And it IS obsession. For many of us, every given day is consumed by sex and sexual thoughts. Every member of the opposite gender (for heteros at least) is sized up and judged according to our standards of attractiveness. Every member of the same gender we compare to ourselves and our OWN attractiveness. We are always either wanting to fuck those we see, wanting to date those we see, rejecting those we see due to them not measuring up, or feeling driven to compete with rival suitors of the ones we desire. If this constant inner sex-mad commentary was removed from your mind, you wouldn't believe the difference. You'd feel as if you were free to truly relate to others as PEOPLE - no more, no less - for the first time.
And then there's our consuming drive to stare at pictures and video of "hot" celebrities and models while engaging in obsessive fantasy about them. We love looking at sexual images of attractive people, pornographic and otherwise. But why? It's not like it's real interaction with real individuals. Yet millions drool over hot pix each and every day, and "celebrities" are worshipped like frickin' GODS. Why the obsession with viewing images and idolizing those who appear in them? Pure biology and mating instinct. Like Pavlov's dogs, we get turned on just from seeing an appealing potential "mate". I'm serious. A study was done with male chimps, where they were shown images of female chimp genitalia. And guess what? They reacted with true simian lust, engaging in the same mating behavior they would've if confronted with the real deal. So even chimps dig porn. Interesting, eh?
Some women may think themselves free of all this, because they're into "romance" more than pure sex. But it's no different. Romance is just lust with a need for emotional security tossed in for good measure. Sighing at the latest "dreamy" actor or rock star doesn't make a woman's drives any better than your average horn-ball's - it just makes her drives a bit more complex. In the end, it's all the same thing. We desperately seek out sex and romance because of a huge potpourri of electro-chemical reactions in the body, which produce "drives" that we feel compelled to obey, like little remote-controlled robots.
So, gentle readers (all 8 of you), I'm finished seeking anything on this Web site. I've found one potential friend, and that makes the cost worth it, in my opinion. I'm now actually glad that I've been so universally shunned on AdultFriendFinder. Because if I were able to find sex partners left and right, that would've led to sex becoming way more important to me than it has any right to be. Sex shouldn't take over one's life any more than other fun activities. As it is, my "shunning" has led to a lot of thought and introspection, and it's led to me fully realizing that sex is just sex. Plain and simple.
And with that said, I end this post. I'll continue to blog, even after my paid time here is up. I may even show up in the chat rooms (assuming AdultFriendFinder lets me do that without laying down the $$). But no more visiting profiles and sending messages. Over the last few days I've done a lot of thinking, which has resulted in the content of this post. And now, I honestly just don't care about sex enough to go "pussy hunting" on here. I think I'll just concentrate on meeting open-minded people and making friends. And if things happen, they happen. It'll be fun and relaxed, because I won't be wasting energy fighting other guys for some aloof chick's attention - I'll be having intimate fun with people I respect and whose company I enjoy. Which is exactly how it should be. Later.