Off topic 2 Abuse  

Wyldtyme2nite 45M/45F
153 posts
7/26/2006 3:01 pm

Last Read:
3/12/2007 8:08 pm

Off topic 2 Abuse

I just finished reading Amber Adictions. granted an old post but it kinda hit home in alot of ways. This could easily be three different topics, sexual abuse, physical violence, mental abuse tied in with verbal. The sexual abuse I will write about in a later post. As for the the next here it goes. I am sure my comments may offend some women but hopefully it will get some to think. I have lived in the midwest most of my life and noticed that abuse happens regularly out here in the supposed bible belt. If everyone is so religious why do abuses occur. If everyone is so sanctimonious why do we hurt people especially those we love. I am human I sometimes let my emotions get the best of me, but as mad or pissed off at my wife as I may get I could never ever raise a hand to her. Yes I have thrown things like pillows of pillow cushions at her nothing that would inflict injury to her. And verbally we have said things to eachother that the other regrets, we are both guilty of that and we do apologize to eachother and move on. But never have we used physical violence on eachother and while I can be confident in the fact that I can kick her ass or extinguish her life, I am sure she can be confident that she can do the same to me with a gun, baseball bat, frying pan and numerous items in our house. So the question is beckoned why are some women willing to deal with it instead of doing what amber did which is pack up and leave and never look back. I appauld the fact that she had enough self worth to move out and move on. But not all women do that, which is fustrating. Case in point. Situation one. A couple took in a runaway when she was 16. Over time she became a member of the family and a sex toy. Granted in their state legal age is 16 so thats fine. The problem is the female of the couple does not work and never has worked. The male works and so those the runaway. All she makes goes to him to use for the family. She has on numerous occasions stated she has had enough and wanted to leave them. We (me and my wife)have offered to open our home to her. Yes there has been some light petting going on between all three of us. That was not our motivation. Our motivation was to get her out of a bad situation. When ever she wanted to leave she was made to acknowledged that if it wasnt for them the runaway would have been on the streets selling herself or dead. That her parents abandoned her, that her step dad abused her. Made to relive her past which seems cruel. Yes she is attractive but this was not their motivation. Their motivation was the extra income. In essence they were her pimp to corporate america. She was always on the fence about leaving, but 3 weeks ago she, them all disappeared off the radar. No forwarding address. Gone. I feel we were a threat to them. On this situation did we do right to help her break free or were we sticking out noses where it did not belong. She stated time and time again that he was planning to leave the wife for her and that he loved her (runaway) more that his wife. And that she loved him very much dispite being called everything in the book by them. I believe this is a form of verbal and financial abuse. And maybe physical thrown in but I could never get a straight answer from her. I hope she is well and knows our door is always open for her and her only. Situation two. I know of this couple that has been together for a year. They have been involved in threesomes with other women and women only. I once asked the female what about a threesome with another guy. To wit she replied he is enough. Well whenever the female third wheel seeks a long term friendship with the female, he is quick to put an end to it. Unfortunately a friend of mine fell victim to it. While she never engaged in a threesome with them she befriended both, treated him as a brother and her as a friend. They were inseparable. Of late he wanted to stay at home and she wanted to go out and have fun. SO the girls would go out and leave him at home. Well my friend was called everything in book by him from home wrecker to instigator to alot choice names. As of now she stays away from them. My analysis of the whole thing is this. He wants to control his girlfriend. He has to be the center of attention. When other show her that he is not the center of the world or attention, he attacks and severs all ties. My question is why would any women let herself be controlled in that manner. I can not say man because of have known of women doing it to their female companion and or lovers. I know why my mother put up with my dad, because she wanted to keep the family intact for us, so that we didnt have to go through a broken home situation but was witnessing that first hand helpful or not. For us we did take the lesson and avoid being on either end of that situation. But why why why do women or anybody let themselves be control and dominated and mistreated in that way. How many excuses can you give, how justification can you come up with before you realize you need to get out. Why is the first answer I hear, I love him, followed by he is the only one that understands me and puts up with me. I dont care if you high maintence or a whinning bitch, that does not justified being treated like a mat or punching bag. Why why why. Can someone please give me some insight as to why this is, why women would rather end up dead then fight for their right to exist, to live life on their terms. Yes I have watched shows and read articles and books. Yes I have never been in that situation, so I will never understand, but it seems so logical that if your being controlled or beaten or abused that the logical conclusion is to move out and move on. Yes for my mom it was easy in that it was all verbal, because the first time my dad raised his hand, he got blindsided with a frying pan. So yes my mom had it easy but the others, why. There is no making light of this. I am sure some women will say, your a man you will never understand, hell I am sure some guys will say whats your fucking problem a bitch needs to get slapped once in while. But oh well bring on the comments.

rm_Katchen69 45M/45F
21 posts
7/26/2006 4:23 pm

Way to go mom. LOL I know not funny sorry but as a woman never been in that situation and I pray I never will. I have some friends like that and there is nothing you can say. Just every once in awhile one of them stays with us for the nite but she always goes back, so I try not to think about. Sad but true. Licks and winks babe.

rm_vika1973 58M/50F

7/27/2006 6:28 am

We also know of a friend who has been in a bad marriage for a long time. She has let him several times and most recently when she left he called her everything in the book. Then sold her car without her knowledge, changed the locks on the door, took the kids on his days and would not return them. After all that three weeks later he gives her this sorry story that he has changed and it won't happen again. Well we have all heard that before. So WHY? I think she need that roller coaster ride, of high drama and then low feelings. The highs must be good because we have told her many times to get out. I hope it will get better before we see her name in the paper.

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