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The "L" Word
The "L" Word
The “L” Word
There was a time when the “F” word was just about the worst sort of word any socially respectable person could say in public. I’m beginning to think that now the most highly charged word to bring up in a conversation is the “L” word: Yes, that four-letter horrifying, bloodcurdling word, love.
Test your reaction right now, right this second. What does that word do to you? Why in hell is it so frightening to people? No, not to people. To men. This is overgeneralizing, but seems to me men run like rabbits or else freeze like a deer in headlights, and women do their best to avoid using the word as if the mere utterance of it will bring down the plague to all they touch.
I have been trying to understand this, and it completely boggles me, so you men out there, please, please enlighten me if you have something to say on the subject. And don’t tell me this isn’t the right website for it; it’s the perfect website for it, because if you men are so great at distinguishing between sex and love, just where exactly is the boundary line? It’s a matter of time, you say. Oh, really? Time? How much time? You just know, you say, when it’s time. Oh, I see, so that’s your time. And if my time is different, does that mean I don’t know a fucking thing about love, and you do, because you have a handle on the time thing, and I don’t?
It’s about knowing someone, you say. It’s about knowing someone deeply, you say. I see. You don’t think it’s possible for some people to have better insight that manifests more quickly than others? Or how about this one: Maybe women have better insight than men in seeing deeply who someone is. Or maybe some women have better insight than some men.
Point is, if anyone says to anyone that they “don’t know shit/crap/fuck/jack about love”, here is my response: And you do? Where do any of us get off by judging someone else’s experience of what they feel?
When you were sixteen, or some such youngish age, and you had your first real girlfriend, assuming you’re hetero for the moment, did you like it if anyone, anyone, said you were “too young to have any real feelings”? Looking back on it, weren’t your feelings quite real, thank you very much, for you? It didn’t matter that anyone else thought otherwise, because you knew how you felt. Period, end of story.
So, will you just think about this: If some chick says she loves you after a few months or even weeks of fucking and dating or whatever, would you just relax, and don’t (a) accuse her of not knowing how she feels (b) tell her she doesn’t know anything about love (c) insist that only you know when you are loved or (d) say that you know the difference between sex and love and she doesn’t.
…That is, unless you want to end the relationship in whatever phase it’s in. Because any woman in her right mind would not have anything more to do with a man that stupid.
7/4/2006 1:52 am
Loving is scarier than fucking.|
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7/4/2006 10:17 am
Well, I for one have a hard time wanting to make love to someone I can't see myself potentially being in love with at some point. If the emotional qualities arent there the physical response simply isnt as good. So I am not at all scared of love. |