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Oxitosin. Ever heard of it?
It's the chemical released by neurotransmitters in our brain when we've bonded with someone sexually, or when a mother gives birth. It makes us want to stay around the bondee, and it makes us feel good, happy. "In love."
We are biological beings and there is a valid argument, I'd say, that what we think is being in love is really just being saturated in oxitosin. Except for one teeny weeny thing....We are not just, JUST, biological beings.
Therein lies the rub. As someone who loves (there's that word again) poetry, and writes it, I am biased on the subject of the reality of our humaness being inclusive of more than the physical, but I'm just as mystified as anyone else as to what exactly that means.
For one thing, think about this: All any of us have to do when we look at a naked human body is switch gears in our head as to our reaction to it. We can see it as a thing of beauty to be drawn, painted, sculpted. An object of scientific study. A means to procreate. A way to humiliate and instill shame (war methodologies). A source of intense desire and longing. Something to be afraid of, covered.
Then there are all the stupid ways we judge our bodies and other bodies, skin color, size, height, weight. All of that, all of that, is the stuff of the mind, cultural influences, belief choices....
I start wondering how much we are puppets just jumping around in response to our body-produced chemicals, our environment, what we are told is "right" and "wrong" and "good" and "bad".
What is jealousy and possessiveness, as another question? Isn't it based on the belief that the other "belongs" to us, territoriality? And if that is so, that is strictly nature's way of keeping couples and families together in order to increase the odds of continuing life on the planet, isn't it?
This country, where I am, in the USA, has a huge historic influence of Victorianism and St. Augustine. The whole flesh is evil thing. Groan. No wonder we have a multi-million dollar industry of "pornography". If you go to Brazil, there really isn't anything that's a no-no sexuality; pornography, per se, doesn't exist. But Brazil didn't have the Puritanical ethic to contend with. (FYI, I lived there for awhile, and they thought our judging Clinton for his blow job with Monica was ridiculous; if he can balance the national budget, they said, why care about his orgasms?).
The point I think I'm making here, if there is any point at all, is that if we cut away all that crap that's reactive to our culture, our upbringing, our beliefs, our biological chemistry, is there something left that's simple, pure, beyond right and wrong, a clear essence of some kind? I could be wrong, but I think there is, and I think that is what love is.
Just a thought. : )
7/2/2006 9:32 pm
As usual the deep thinker. Well thought out argument and I believe you to be correct there is more to us than the biochemical and cultural nature of our being. There is I believe and I suspect you do to that ever elusive true love. Not the well yea their cute and are good in bed and can help me pay the bills raise the kids ,type make do love but the real deep all encompasing love that exudes from our joining our very essence to make us as one being from two. That which when we are physically parted we feel incomplete yet complete in the knowing that our other half is only temporarily out of reach and will return joyous to rejoin us. I see no chemical or other driving force behind this just that etherial something that we can just put one name to true LOVE , the most elusive and valuable of all things that only people not time can distroy.
7/3/2006 1:34 pm
I've never really sat and thought why I love a woman as I do,whether it was chemical or not.
I'm sure that you're very right about it,and seems as though you have done studies in this regards,maybe read it somewhere.
Oxitosin sounds almost like pheremones that are released from certain insects and animals;although I understand that you're speaking generally of the human brain,and it's release of chemicals.
What chemicals do you think are released,say just for example if you and I were to kiss in a passionate manner?(highly unlikely,but for examples sake)
To be sure,the oxitosin level would be zooming,along with all the other chemical reactions going on,as the brain sends the messages to and throughout the body.
It is the oxitosin that creates the chemical excitedness to a womens genital areas,that make her wet with excitement;As is also the case with the male libido. Sex truly is Mental;but wonderful.
Sometimes I think the drug industry is taking everyone for a ride;especially Males.Look at all the drugs for ED. Now they tell you this is not an aphrodesiac,but only allows the blood flow to fill the capillaries and veins during excitability. Now think;what other drug does the same thing and cost way less. How about Bayer or St.Josephs Aspirin. Voila'problem solved,and you saved a pile of cash.SHHH!Don't tell no one,would'nt want to let that cat out of the bag.
I guarantee,that if I saw a you in your skivvies or nothing at all,and had taken my daily coated aspirin,I'll be knocking over lamps and scraping pictures off the wall. I'm exaggerating of course,but you know what I mean. Oxitosin and Aspirin work well together!
As for the Victorian,St.Augustine mentality of this country.It is what it is....,Politically Driven!
We like to think in this country that we got it going on sexuality wise,when in reality,our country is last bastian Quakerhood.
Not to that extreme of course;But we get excited if we see a baby's behind on TV. In Europe,and as you said ,in Brazil,and quite a few countries besides,have no hangups over nudity. I think it's beautiful myself! That is if the body is nice shape,or what we view as the perfect shape of a male or female.
I do agree along with you,that were we to cut away all that clutters us,in regards to upbringings and old beliefs,we might well indeed....,love even more fully for our mates,and perhaps all peoples.For their will be no race,no creeds. However;I'm afraid we're many years from that taking place. Your thoughts on the subject of the chemical mind,was well put. Hope you did'nt mind my little bit of input. Masloe28(Paul)
P.S. To bad you live so far from me.I'd enjoy a deep conversation like that with a women ,If I could find one in my area like you.