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A Forty-Year Old
A Forty-Year Old
I confess! I freely admit it after forty years. However, the Statute of Limitations on has expired and I can't be charged. But is this a true account or merely a story? My profile holds the answer. WolfieInApt26
It was "young love" in 1962. There was no declaration of boyfriend-girlfriend but we and our friends understood it. I was sixteen and she was fifteen, almost sixteen, virgins both of us. We "made out" and I got as far as feeling her breasts and getting my hand in her pants.
One night at a party with a bunch of our friends, I drank enough to almost slur my words but not quite. I bought the beer and liquor; I had a phony ID and looked older than my years. Laura, my "girlfriend" also drank some. I don't know how much. We both left the party to get some fresh air and wound up walking the two blocks to where she lived. It was early and we didn't want to say good night so we quietly unlocked the door and slipped inside her room, which was the only room on the first floor--a strange arrangement--but it was a city apartment and many apartments had strange layouts. None of her family knew we were there.
We both lay on her bed and began kissing. Laura unbuttoned her blouse and pulled up her bra for me. While I played with her breasts and sucked on her nipples I slid my hand under her short skirt and into her panties. My hand found her slit and began exploring like I had done dozens of times before.
But the alcohol numbed my inhibitions and I began pulling off her panties. At first she didn't object but when her panties were down around her ankles she said, "No." I didn't listen and pulled her panties over her shoes and threw them on the floor. I kissed her deeply and her protestations subsided until I spread her legs and slipped two fingers in her pussy. Again she said, "No," but as quietly as the first time so I continued to "finger fuck" her with one hand and rub her clit with my other.
Even though I was only sixteen I had studied human sexuality from books I stole from a local bookstore so being attentive to her clit was well within my ability.
Laura was getting wet and although she had drank some it was obvious when I spread her legs further apart and got between them that I wanted to fuck her. She started to plead with me but I pulled down my pants and showed her the fullness of my cock. Again she pleaded, "No," but this time her voice was raised and I was concerned her family would hear her. "Shush," I said, "They'll hear you." I was especially afraid of her father who was an alcoholic with a violent temper but she only became louder.
I placed one hand over mouth and with the other I positioned my prick at the entrance to her love canal. I entered her only an inch or so then removed my hand and grabbed both of her wrists above her head. She could struggle but she couldn't make any noise or go anywhere. I was a weight lifter and had no trouble restraining her especially with my partial body weight pressing down on her hips.
Her eyes were wide as I pushed inside her. I knew it was her hymen when I felt the obstruction and as reassuring as I could I told her it was going to hurt for a moment. I pushed into her and her eyes widened even further and I heard a muffled scream. "I'm sorry that hurt," I told her, "It'll be better in a little while."
I continued to hold her arms and keep my hand over her mouth as I humped her. At some point she closed her eyes and when she opened them tears ran down her cheek.
At last I came--I thought I might not be able to because of the liquor--and filled her pussy with spurts of semen filled fluid. There was no AIDS then and everyone knew you couldn't get pregnant the first time. I pulled out of her. Her face was turned away from me. The wet spot under her ass was growing bigger. I tried to kiss her but she wouldn't let me so I pulled up my pants and let myself out.
For a while Laura wouldn't have anything to do with me but eventually we made up and had several more "love making" sessions. Those times I used a rubber. We stayed together for less than a year. She then became the whore of some "tough guy" in another part of town. It was the Vietnam era and I enlisted. I never saw or heard of her again.
So, which is it, fact or fiction?
One of my purposes for writing this was to try to evoke the reader's emotion. Apparently that happened, negatively, and in abundance--it appeared in the members' magazine. If you had read my profile as I suggested, you would have seen that this is a retelling of when I lost my virginity which was a loving, tender, albeit frightening, but totally consensual experience. It's just a story. I was looking to explore the conflict between being utterly repulsed by and the desire to exert power over a woman. It was a look into the darkside.
I detest . It makes me ill. I refuse to watch a movie that has as part of its plot. One of my daughters was many years ago and the men were never even arrested. But as a writer--a questionable and perhaps arrogant assumption--I have to force myself to examine and express all sorts of human experience and behavior.
4/2/2006 3:00 pm
I understand the great value in exploring the dark side, and the risk involved. I am on that journey too, and I know the complexity. It is so easy to be self-righteous, and so boring. |
You've given me two intense orgasms in one day. I'm going to spend some time reading your blog and your posts, and I'll take my time to savour each one. Thanks.
3/14/2006 11:34 pm
i agree about but never the less the story was excellent|