Why do most men think spoiling means SEX........  

WntAMstress 44F
43 posts
11/18/2005 5:36 am

Last Read:
4/9/2006 7:14 pm

Why do most men think spoiling means SEX........

Well here goes nothing .....lol...

Why is it that most men think that when a woman says she wants to be "spoiled" that she is not happy with her sex life.... Spoiling can mean more than that.... I know most women are not happy with their sex life but I am not one of those... Dont get me wrong , SEX is a great way to be spoiled ... but , how about being spoiled with , touching, feeling, spending time together , whether it be at a movie, dinner , shopping, etc..... come on guys, dont think when someone says they want spoiled that automatically means in BED...... Ok, give me your feed back and remember , NO ONE'S THOUGHT IS WRONG , GOD GAVE EACH OF US BRAINS AND INDEPENDANT THOUGHTS..... EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE (WHERE IT COUNTS) ......

rm_RxSUGAR 60M
102 posts
11/18/2005 6:02 am

Actually,,,thats what men are 'hoping' that she means,sex. And your reasoning is absolutely correct but we all get a little picky when you start talking that other stuff. For the most part,women want romance and men want sex. Of course there are many that want both,but there are men and women that avoid what your talking about. Why ? Fear of committment. Good post. I wish the girls in the top 10 bloggers would post like this to shine the light on some of the 'users'.

michellelust 35F
2 posts
11/18/2005 6:02 am

I think I may have negatively used the term "spoiling" to mean that I want more oral stimulation. Maybe it's other women like me who use the term in a sexual manner that may have given men the wrong impression. It may be wrong but when you’re in a public area you need to decipher your terminology. And I get my point across without completely embarrassing myself.

noirfemme 44F

11/18/2005 6:12 am

Sweetie, I knew exactly what you meant. I mean you are basically asking them to still be gentlemen. I put up a profile which basically listed the things you expect and it came off as bitchy. You can't win for losing...lol. I think what it comes down to is that you have got to decipher on a one on one basis whether the guy is your type of guy. If you ask him open ended questions and he replies with strictly sexual or selfish responses, you know you gotta kick him to the curb.

Good luck in your search.


11/18/2005 6:23 am

Personally I would deal with this "spoiling" issue like I try to deal with most every other aspect inter personal relationships/behavior.

On a case by case basis.

It's been my experience that ,despite things like the Webster's dictionary, each individual carries uniquely sublte personal defintions and emotional associations with a large percentage of the words of our language.

And, unless you are stone cold psychic or happen to coincidentally share the same set of inner subtleties of definition and usage of verbiage, it is only by getting to know a particular individual with some degree of depth that can you then confidently respond to them in a way that corresponds so precisely with their own personal set of verbal sensibilities.

A case in point with this is my brother and his wife.

She might come by when we are talking some times and say to my bro in very light and friendly manner "when you have the time you might clean the picnic table on the porch". After she leaves my brother leans over to me and sais... "when she something like that in that manner it means to do it _right_now_.

I don't think he used to realize that but he sure knows it now.


2xmrclean 58M

11/18/2005 6:30 am

so what would happen if you meet this man? would you know him by site. or experiance him. and would that be such a turn on for you that you would want to rip his clothes off? there are still gentelmen out here. keep sifting though the...?????????????? well you know what..

WildcatJunkie 42M

11/18/2005 1:46 pm

Well from my experience it has meant they want to be paid, whether in gifts or cash. The term spoiled may just be too vague of a term to use on a site like this.

rm_marinecando 105M

11/21/2005 6:40 am

To me,I feel spoiled when my partner thinks of me and does a small gesture such as having a nice dinner with candle light and then sitting by the fire with the lights off and drinking a nice wine with kissing and so forth. To me that is spoiling and showing apriciation with affection. That is better than any store bought presant to me! Yes though spoiling can range in a wide spectrum because it changes definition depending on who interptets it's definition so we all need to be open,fair,honest and most importantly is to comunicate what spoiling meens to us as individuals.

Stepchild69 60M
2 posts
1/25/2006 6:26 pm

define sex........... sensuous touch, holding hands etc are sexual intent... so isn't this still sex? or at least sexually motivated

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