RINGS AND THINGS....A PERSONAL MESSAGE..  

WillSatisfyU56 60M
129 posts
11/11/2005 1:46 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

RINGS AND THINGS....A PERSONAL MESSAGE..

I've been meaning to post this for a while. Just been so busy! Since I posted pics last week, finally!, it has been on my mind to share this with you! It requires some effort to collect the emotional strength to share this!.....

My pictures show a gold necklace worn around my neck. From this chain hangs a simple, plain, gold wedding band. It has hung there everyday since Jan. 1995!

Many friends have never asked about it! Simple respect for my privacy. When the subject finally comes up they ALL say they noticed and wondered about it's presence. The meaning for it. A great many ask "if it's my wedding ring". Worn around my neck instead of on my finger. It "confuses" some because I'm Single, I've Never been married!
I KNOW that friends here have noticed it and wondered the same! I Want you to know it's meaning.....

This unadorned wedding band is my Mother's ring from my natural father.....
My step-father, who survives my Mother, keeps their wedding rings!

My Mother died of a massive cerebral hemorrhage, a stroke, in Jan. of 1995. The last time I was with my Mother was Christmas 1994. In her last minutes of consciousness, in the hospital ER, she removed and gave my step-father Their rings and pleaded with him NOT to call me....Because she didn't want me to WORRY!!!............
Protecting her baby, (I'm the youngest of 4 boys), as she had her entire life, up to very end!


When I received his call at work that evening, hours had passed.
I left work and drove the 30 miles to the hospital. She had been moved to a room, all tests performed. Brain dead was the diagnosis, zero chance for recovery. Yet her heart beat strongly. I don't know how many hours I sat, holding her hand, talking to her, caressing her brow. Hoping. Seeking some sign that she was Aware of my presence! No signs were going to appear. The Dr. made this clear to me and told me I had to make a Decision. Her physical body could live for an undetermined time if it was sustained by a feeding tube. Her heart at 76 still beat strong. If the decision was made to remove artificial feeding she would die "naturally"? in a matter of days.

My step-father made no attempt to claim rights to this decision. He told me the decision was mine. He knew his Wife's desires in respect to this scenario yet he would abide by my wishes! A Bittersweet gift from a gentle and loving man. I was aware that she did not wish her life prolonged in this manner as well. My decision. Made Alone. Why I did not consult my siblings is a long story. Suffice to say that the decision was mine alone, I knew it, I accepted it! Throughout my life my Mother liked to tell me "that is why God gave you shoulders"! To bear the responsibility of just such decisions. Her heart beat strongly for 8 days after the stroke.

With artificial feeding removed she died on the 8th day of congestive heart failure........

I found this simple gold band amongst her possessions a week later. No stone. My parents names and wedding date engraved on the inside. I bought a gold chain with the strongest clasp I could find and hung ring and chain around my neck. There it stays. I DO NOT take it off.!!

My Mother was a remarkable woman in many ways. She had a very difficult childhood. Was faithful to a fault to my natural father, an alcoholic. Tragically Widowed from her second, brief marriage. A hard working, simple woman who struggled her entire life. Yet I know, the last 25 yrs. of her life, with my step-father, were the happiest of her life! He has my undying love and devotion because of this.

I wear the ring for a reminder. In my Heart of Hearts, I know that Every Strength, everything Good in Me, comes from Her.....

A Final Thought: I've stated that I Never remove the chain and ring from my neck. True. I hope to one day. I hope that one day I will find that woman, my soul-mate. The one I know I can
commit my heart and soul to for the rest of my life. I want to place that chain around her neck. Call it a Goal.....

Thanks for Listening!


Singlechick25 36F

11/11/2005 7:23 pm

Thank you. Thank you for sharing such an important part of your life. You've actually moved me beyond words. Believe me, it doesn't happen often


rm_lovelyLady 64F
434 posts
11/13/2005 11:39 am

I just wanted to say, I was moved to tears reading about this truly sensitive part of your history. I have a lump in my throat, and am thinking you must wonder what others will think of your writing such a personal and emotional piece..... Personally, I can hardly imagine having to think about the choice, much less have the responsibility to make that kind of a decision...... even though, it is clearly obvious you made the right choice.......
There are times in your life when you are called upon to make truly important decisions, and you obviously "knew" what you must do......

You obviously know how to listen to your inner vioce.......

Good luck to you... I hope you find just what you are looking for...
xoxo LL


funWus 56M/40F

11/13/2005 8:46 pm

I don't know what else to add...the others have covered it pretty well...Except I think you are a great man yourself!
xoxoxo
Nickie


SensuousWoman3 55F
3106 posts
11/18/2005 12:48 am

Very, very poignant. My God love ‘er and keep ‘er, Sweet Mother Macree!


klauskissnhug 57M

11/25/2005 9:15 am

Thanks for sharing that, Will. It was moving for me, too.


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