|Blogs > WildWon1982 > The Wild Adventures of Bill|
I watch entirely too much porn. I know what you're thinking. "What? You mean a 23-year-old bulky guy with no job, a shitty car, no money, still lives with his mother and sleeps on a broken futon isn't getting laid daily to the point where he needs to watch porn constantly?" I know, I was shocked, too. It's been nearly a year since the last time I got some. In fact, the closest thing to a sexual encounter I've had in the last year is a lap dance. So, to make sure I don't kill myself, I gotta pound out some knuckle children on a fairly consistent basis. So the porn comes in.
I have a modest collection of videos and DVDs, but it's hard to fire one off when I've seen them so many times that I can recite the moans along with the actors. I also go to a free online site (which actually was the original link that got me here back in June), and download a fair share.
My problem is, since I've watched so much of it, and because I went to film school, I find myself actually analyzing the porn.
I watch porns with comedy plots, but that's not always a good idea. If it's too good, I laugh too much, and can't maintain an erection. If it's not funny enough, then the sex itself seems like a joke.
I can't stand the ones with semi-dramatic plots, though. You're having sex on film, there's nothing dramatic about it. It makes it seem even less feasible than the farcical plots of the comedies, and I can't get into a film, even a porn, if I can't respect the plot.
For those ones without plots, I can only watch certain ones. I can't watch too much anal, especially if it's interracial. I got nothing against black guys, but with the lights, angles, and the endowment that black porn stars have, to see them butt-banging a white chick, the color contrast makes it look like something much more private and disturbing than sex.
I also can't watch lesbian scenes. Sure the chicks are hot, but since you can't see them cum, you don't know when the scene ends. You can be cranking away and cum in the middle of the scene, thinking it's over, but it still has 5 more minutes, then you're sitting there with your own ejaculate in your hand, and getting bored with the scene. Maybe it's just me.
Also, why is the dialogue always so much quieter than the moaning? Do they not use microphones until the music starts playing? And if I see that boom mic in the shot, it just takes me out of the moment.