Why Do They Bother?  

WeaponsFighter 47M
365 posts
9/8/2006 4:00 am

Last Read:
9/8/2006 5:52 pm

Why Do They Bother?

I've been vexed by a burning question that has been accentuated these past few days.

Why do ex's always get in touch with you to tell you how much they've changed since you left? I've noticed that the women who were in my life have no problem telling me they finally lost that weight they complained about when we were together, or they finally got a job and are self-sufficient after they drain you dry, or want to have sex after a lack of intimacy caused the split in the first place.

Common sense tells me that if these issues were important, that they would make these efforts BEFORE things went south. And yet, knowing that they once made you miserable, now act all happy and cheery in an attempt to reconcile after you've lost all hope, and moved on.

So I ask: Why do people even bother telling you how much better they've become after you send them on their way?

There's a reason they are called ex's, I thought...

nikki_im4u 53F

9/8/2006 4:13 am

It could be that, the relationshp itself is what was causing them to hang on to the weight to have a loss of intimacy to get a job and become self sufficient.

It could also be that, because they got out of the relationship things are working out much better for them.

It could be that, couldnt it?



WeaponsFighter replies on 9/8/2006 3:38 pm:
I understand your intent. The above referenced scenario is dealing with a relationship where you put forth your best effort. In such a case, I've never seen where that causes weight-gain (except pregnancy), a lack of motivation, and a penchant for discord.

I do, however, appreciate your comment.

_Safira 53F
11260 posts
9/8/2006 12:53 pm

KHAN ~ I get asked this question a lot with my group that I counsel, from both sides. My standard response is, "Manipulative people have perfect timing." Continue from there ... SAFIRA {=}

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