Port of Indecision  

ViciousPleasure 55M/53F
23 posts
8/26/2006 8:12 pm

Last Read:
5/18/2009 1:07 pm

Port of Indecision

I have noticed a very common theme among the people who frequent many of the websites I visit and groups I belong to. It seems that a good portion of the married ones have basically good marriages, but their physical needs are not being met at home. They don't want to leave their marriage; they only want the intimacy they are not receiving at home. Some want just plain hot sex, and some want friendships and intellectual interaction as well. Either way, there is a void in their life they are trying to fill.

This brings to mind several issues and creates a conundrum of sorts. Do you stay within the lines, learn to live without the intimacy you crave, and neglect your own needs? Or do you venture outside the lines to find what is on the other side, but always return home to your safe little world?

Let's use the metaphor of a ship. You (the ship) sail into the Port of Indecision and dock there for a bit. There isn't enough wind on your normal route to fill your sails and carry you forward for the rest of your journey. You could take a different route, but that route is a little dangerous and you aren't sure exactly where it leads. You do know that the winds there are brisk, the waves are rolling, and you would greatly enjoy the ride. If you do, however, those who are at your final destination cannot know about your detour because they would not understand and would not accept the change. They would resent you for veering from your course, which to this point has been steady but has slowed greatly and is getting even slower. The reward at the end of your journey is having your physical and emotional needs met. The dilema is which route to take to achieve that goal. For a while, you simply stay docked at the Port of Indecision, weighing one route against the other and trying to decide which one you can live with. Do you neglect your own needs and desires, stay on the slow and safe route, and never really quite get to your destination? Or do you throw caution to the wind, take the detour, take the chances, but know that you will ultimately end up at your destination. The drawback to the safe route is that you become numb and resent the fact that you're trapped in this path. You like the route. It's comfortable, and you don't want to leave it entirely. You basically want to take the detour from time to time to speed things up and remind yourself that you are alive. The drawback in the detour is guilt. Can you live with taking the detour yet still return to your normal route and not regret it? Which is more important....your needs or safety and conformity?

So.....here they sit. A whole flotilla of ships all sitting in the Port of Indecision. Some brave souls decide to throw caution to the wind and live a little, and they head into the strong winds of the detour. They feel a little guilty about it, but they can live with that. Others give up on their own needs and just conform to the normal route, trudging along like they always do. There is nothing to feel guilty about....they just feel numb.

Which route do you take? What can you live with? Or do you sit in port.....not moving, not quite able to make a decision on what to do. Hence the "Port of Indecision".

Is it possible for one person to meet ALL of another person's needs? I don't think that is realistic.

Which route is your vessel going to take?

The Lady of Shadows

rm_lerche21 63M/56F
8 posts
8/31/2006 7:13 pm

male answered. no it is impossible for one person to meet all mental and physical needs. then there is another possible reason to think about-and that is your partner may not be physically able to have hot sex.you do not want to hurt them but the sexually needs build up to a point where the only release is to take that detour.and try not to hurt anyone.

hd1966shovel 55M
6 posts
1/15/2008 2:52 pm

Great thought.. Yes,I think it is possible for one person to fulfill all of a persons needs. I think that people forget that their partner is needing a little more that they are getting. After years of being together and trying to discuss the need and not getting the satisfaction that I need. I have decided that its best to not nag but to enable myself to be satisfied.It would be great if my wife would, could join me on my journey of pleasure, but she does not, can not, wish to join in. So I must see that I am a good husband and a great friend to my lovers. The pleasure that I receive and I give are very precious to me and my friends.... I hope that we all can cum together...... Keep Smiling..

rm_Imrealcowboy 31M
148 posts
6/12/2009 5:03 am

I'm old fashioned in some things. Its hard for me to describe. I'm not in a commited relationship right now, but if I were, I would through myself completely into that relationship. What was my and her physical needs becomes OUR physical needs. And if there is anything lacking, the problem solver in me would want me to solve that problem in a way left us both satisfied. If that means bringing in others, fine. If it means that we try something different, okay. Whatever it takes to satisfy both partners is what it takes.

About your metaphor. Another thing I should point out is that, while the shorter route will save time, there won't be any ports along the way where you might stop off and resupply with good food and supplies where on the safe route, you may find a great treasure that makes the journey on that route worth it every time. I other words, there are other reasons for taking the safe route other than because its safe.

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