WHY ME!  

VanMan1962 54M
104 posts
5/7/2006 10:24 am

Last Read:
5/13/2006 11:09 pm

WHY ME!


Mood: aggravated, rejected, sad and feeling like such a fucking idiot!

Why am I this way? Why do I bother?
There was a young lady a little wild from what the others say about her, and we have been making eyes to one another... We had lunch together: she said she was getting over a relationship and was enjoying her time a lone. I can respect that, everyone need time to heal and review what went wrong so you don't make the same mistakes over and over. (Except for me)
So, I was writing a term paper and I have to have contacts interviewed and quoted for my paper. I made an appointment with her, and for reasons beyond my control,at work, I missed it. So called to apologize and to schedule another appointment, fine. Again, I missed that also! I could not leave work to run across town to make the appointment. I am so pissed off that I have no way to call her and beg for her forgiveness, I don't have the number. "Why didn't I get her fucking number?"
So two days have gone by, my co-worker and I see her and her new replacement. We say our hellos and we exchange glances at each other and I was wishing she would stop what she was doing so I could ask those few questions for the damn term paper I was writing!
And before I could get a word out, She and her friend are gone. I was steamin'! On her way out she says that there would be the outdoor Friday summer social gathering that has been going on for a few years now, and she would to see us there.
Fine, I went, I got there a little later than I had hoped, no big deal. So get my beer and I start looking around for her or anybody that I knew. I circled the area twice drank my beer down and left. Pissed again!
So the following day, I was angry, that I didn't see her and I had to work as well! So, she was bringing lunch to friends of hers there and I made one glance at her and ignored her the rest of the time. I was still pissed from not finding her last night AND having to work on a Saturday. Not a happy camper!!
Upon leaving she states that she will be staying home to nurse her hangover from the night before. So guys there are encouraging me to show up at her apartment. "Where does she live?" I ask. "OH Over there somewhere in that apartment complex" are the answers I get. "Go home I'll get her number," my partner says, "I'll call you as soon as I get it."
OK, after work I hurried home to shower and change hot with anticipation that something good might come from this. I might actually get to love someone again!
My partner calls and relays the number to me, but it's a Nextel two-way number. Not a problem I carry one those for work, and I call her. No answer, OK maybe she is on another call. I try in the next hour, still there is no answer. OK, I can go out to the complex to see if I can track her down. Since she lives across the street from the park where that event was (which I did not know until later,) I'll keep trying her number as I drive closer. This was seven o'clock, there was plenty of daylight and I drove out there and I could not find her SUV. I thought I had covered the place, left-to-right, North-to-South, etc.
I leave empty handed, yet again. Feeling like the biggest looser in town, I went home and got drunk.
A six-pack of beer later at three a.m. I felt like going to give it one more try to search for her SUV at the apartment complex. If I find her vehicle then I at least can narrow the search to the building, but again I come out the biggest loser. This is a habit that I cannot seem to shake! GAWD!! What the fuck am I doing?
So again I'm home awake around nine a.m. and I give it another try. And I find her SUV!! Yeah!! But wait, have I checked this parking before? I'm such a fucking idiot! Don't remember checking or even seeing that parking lot a little further down the street than from where I was! I am feeling like such a fucking fool that I didn't see that area sooner! And at three a.m. I did not see it in the darkness, that I'm sure of. But yet there it is!! Plain as day, I go inside the building. I look at the mailbox to locate her apartment and I knock on the door. But first, I listened to hear if there was there life on the other side of the door: I heard someone making noise with a frying pan. So after knocking I heard that frying pan hit the stove and someone female saying "Damn!" And no answer at the door, quickly she goes into the silent mode. And I stand there for a few minutes and listen, knock a few times more and listen again. And I left with my tail between my legs like a sad fucking puppy!
I still don't really know if I got the right apartment! But I think I did.

I kept asking myself "WHY did I not see that parking lot sooner. You fucking stupid ass-hole!!!!" All the way home

This my freinds, is why I hate the dating/bar scene.

I get nothing but hurt feelings from rejection and above all, NO SEX!! /8

I'll curl up with a video and cry myself to sleep.

Now there's new handle: FukinStupidAss.

That works.

HawksBabyGirl 48F

5/7/2006 3:52 pm

WOW sorry that happen to you ...By the way you have some great blogs.

BG


VanMan1962 replies on 5/7/2006 9:26 pm:
Thank you BG

KITKAT-123 60F
6 posts
5/10/2006 1:08 am

Sorry sweetie,sometimes bad things happen to good people. Did you finish your term paper ok?? Here's a Hug... >< hope it brightens your day...Kat


VanMan1962 replies on 5/13/2006 11:14 pm:
Yes, everything is done, Thanks -VanMan

singleagain53578 46F

5/13/2006 5:09 pm

You went to her house at 3am? I bet you freaked the shit out of her. She prolly had one of those peep holes on her door and was watching you through it wondering what the heck was going on.

I have to agree... the bar scene and this dating thing sure does BITE!


VanMan1962 replies on 5/13/2006 11:13 pm:
No, I did not go knocking on anyone's door until Sunday morning. Yes, I'm sure this gave her the creeps big time. Thanks, VanMan

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