A woman scorned  

VanMan1962 55M
104 posts
5/10/2006 4:48 pm

Last Read:
5/14/2006 7:22 am

A woman scorned


This young lady I was chasing, has had the worst life history that I have ever heard. And I would like to share this with you:

This poor woman is in her early thirty's, not the an absolute knock-out, but I believed she was worth chasing after just the same. She has black hair, (and if you don't know this, I love a woman with black hair.) Anyway she is pleasing to the eye, and sometimes you had better duck to miss the knives that come flying out of her mouth.

You see she told me that she was married at age eighteen,into a family with four children, not by her, divorced by age twenty-one and since has been abused, and has dealt with a boyfriend with alcoholism and again, abused...you name it. She says she has been through it!

But to every poor guy that tries to get to know her, beware!! If she does not want to see you, forget her answering her telephone or the door. Anyone that tries to get into her pants can get there if she is in the mood for it, any other time, Lord help you! She is all business at work, justified, I think.
Have you heard the saying "Heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned."

Shit here come World War 3!!

I try to be sympathetic but, I think she would not appreciate the gesture. She reminds me of my days in Army boot camp!
Hands out that tough love stuff...geezzz! And this what you get just for knowing her?? I'm glad I'm not in love with her!!

I would like to take her to a movie but, I'm not sure I will come home alive!
The police haven't recovered the body of her last date yet, LOL!

What can be done with knowing a such a woman?

We had lunch together when we first met and I had a good time. I tried my best to be a gentleman, open doors for her, etc. And I left saying stay in touch. And we do, from time to time. But if you are lonely, you know you are always wishing and hoping.

I just want to hold her hand and maybe, just maybe she will believe that I am for real and believe I really care what happens to her. No matter what the other meat heads at the bars tell her. I have tried to tell her "Stay out of those bars," but she won't listen. Maybe she is just asking for trouble that way, I don't know!

I'm just trying to be a friend to her and I'm not all together sure if she would even want my friendship. I would like to just put a smile on her pretty face, and that would make my day, and others around me happier.

I wish that I could reach her, she has touched me. I wish she would allow me to touch her too.

What can be done with knowing a such a woman?

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
5/10/2006 5:42 pm

Unfortunately, treat her like crap and I'm sure she'll adore you.

Women who have a past history of staying in inappropriate, unsatisfying or abusive relationships often have deep seated self-esteem issues; they may feel as if they don't deserve any better. So they repeat the pattern of seeking out the only kind of men they feel they deserve; toxic ones. Nice guys don't get far with them, as they go out of their way to push them away by some means or another... withdrawing (not answering the phone of door) is one of those means.

That "hard" demeanor is probably a defense mechanism to keep people away because she has had a tough past. She sounds like the walls she's built are pretty heavy duty.

Her past history of justifies her control issues with sex.

There really is nothing you can do to help her. She needs to make a serious commitment to psychotherapy to examine her issues and how her reactions and decisions are influenced by her past. Until she does that, she will maintain the walls, make further poor relationship choices and have control issues with sex. Unfortunately she needs to make the decision to fix her problems on her own. Telling someone they need psychotherapy (even when it's glaringly apparent) is never taken as a compliment, even if you're trying to help. The best thing you can do is ask open-ended non-judgemental questions to help her verbalize her own thoughts when she's talking to you about her current state, and be supportive. If she is complaining about her current state of affairs you might want to mention "a friend" that you know who has gone through similar issues and has sought therapy successfully. Maybe she'll get the hint.

However, I would not get involved with this person at this point in time if I were you. She has a lot of work she needs to do before she will be ready to try her hand at a healthy relationship. She's lucky to have a friend though!

Good luck-

A


VanMan1962 replies on 5/11/2006 3:38 pm:
I appreciate your comments. but I have a problem with your first sentence. Treating anyone like crap, to me, is not the way. Because I sure do not want to be treated in that way. It's just a damn shame that someone so pretty, (But not as pretty as you,) has to act like that. It boggles my mind! -VanMan

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