Masturbation is bliss  

Valdrane78 38M
888 posts
7/17/2006 1:40 pm

Last Read:
10/10/2009 1:50 am

Masturbation is bliss

I have been masturbating in excess recently, much more than my nornal once or twice a day. It's more like 3 or 4 times a day now. I just cannot stop wankin the wally, pounding the pooch, flogging the bishop, petting the one eyed snake, spanking the monkey, stroking the purple headed yogurt slinger.... It just feels to good. and since I am not gettin enough pussy, I must tame the fireman.

It has been just about 3 weeks sinced I last got laid. My woman is all the way across the country, and though I know my ex would probably give it up, I really don't wanna open up that can of worms, ya know what I mean. So I continue to stroke the salami, pet the dolphine, wax the candle, pound the pud and yank the chain.

Ya know, if masturbation really did make ya go blind, I swear I would be so blind I couldn't see the images inside my head. And I would have the hairiest palms around. Maybe it will fall off, if it did Tom would be a very very very sad man.

So please excuse me, but I must go and whip the orphane again. Dammit I am horny.

BANG! POW! BOOM! a study in useless knowledge and sick humor!
I want a damn soundtrack to my blog!

rm_ashpaigesexy 34F
2 posts
7/17/2006 2:23 pm

That is my fetish. I love men who love to masterbate.Lets do it together.

Valdrane78 replies on 7/17/2006 2:40 pm:
um...sure sounds good to me!

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
7/17/2006 2:28 pm

How about "beating the red-headed stepchild"?

Valdrane78 replies on 7/17/2006 2:40 pm:
That door swings BOTH ways my dear

mycin62 54F

7/17/2006 5:20 pm

stroking the purple headed yogurt slinger


Never heard it called that before

Valdrane78 replies on 7/17/2006 11:59 pm:
I got tons more names for it, heh!

mycin62 54F

7/18/2006 5:32 am

Well, bring em on!!!

You get extra points for creativeness

rm_saltiest 39F
2 posts
8/6/2006 2:24 am

Ya know, I masturbate everyday, once minimum, usually a couple times, but I swear, the few days around the full moon I am going crazy. Doesn't matter if I'm having a regular dose of sex or not. Which of course means I'm feeling the pull already...five times today. I get to the point where I take more bathroom breaks at work to take care of things.

I like "pet the dolpin". They're supposed to have the largest out there.

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