What is a Psychopath?  

98 posts
4/18/2006 12:18 am

Last Read:
7/26/2006 3:24 am

What is a Psychopath?

This blog is in response to VanMichael who posted this in the Vancity Hook-up group.

I went over your blog, and I'm actually concerned for you. What you're doing is actually against the law, it's called slander. If this person has you, assaulted you or harrassed you in any way, then go the police and start a file, get a peace bond or restraining order.
I work in the law field, and I work with Psychopaths and Sociopaths on a daily basis. However you got played, or lied to or cheated on or whatever, I'm sorry, but please don't belittle the true monsters by comparing what this guy did or said to you. Please don't compare a criminal psychopath you and brutilizes and murders to someone who said he was 28 when he was really 31, who lied about his first name, who cheated on his girlfriend with you etc...
You're definitions are not that of a psychopath, if you want those, go open up the DSM. Do you know what that is? You're defenitions are those of a guy who sneaks around to sleep around! The fact that you think a psychopath has a low emotional intelligence just shows how clueless you are about what you're talking about. Psychopathic behaviour has absolutely nothing to do with emotional "intelligence". I had hoped that since you were talking about Somatic Narcissists and sociological explanations for psychopathic sexual deviance, you would have done more than open up a first year psych/sociology book or did a google search on Psychopaths. However it's evident that you have not. I have no clue who the hell this guy is, and frankly I don't give two fucks. But all these posts by you on a fun website are starting to piss me off! Stop talking about stuff that you know nothing about...You don't actually work with true psychopaths so don't talk about them like you know them. They're mosters, not slim balls who lie to get sex. Get a fucking life!

My response:

Narcissism is one of the symptoms of psychopathy. Being a Narcissist does not mean you are a psychopath.

A person with an antisocial personality disorder, manifested in aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior without empathy or remorse.

Psychopathy is derived from the Greek psych (mind) and pathos (suffering), and was once used to denote any form of mental illness.

These days, psychopathy is defined in psychiatry as a personality disorder characterised by lack of empathy or conscience, poor impulse control and manipulative behaviors. Though in widespread use as a psychiatric term, psychopathy has no true equivalent in either DSM-IV-TR's, where it is most strongly correlated with antisocial personality disorder and the ICD-10 dissocial disorder. It is hoped that the projected DSM V will begin to address this anomaly.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV was printed in 1994 and a text revised edition in 2000. Neither of these versions include the newest definitions of a psychopath. The new DSM V will be available in about the year 2011.

Psychopathy is most commonly diagnosed using Robert D. Hare's Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R).

Hare describes psychopaths as, "intraspecies predators who use charm, manipulation, intimidation, and violence to control others and to satisfy their own selfish needs. Lacking in conscience and in feelings for others, they cold-bloodedly take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without the slightest sense of guilt or regret."

Psychopaths may be responsible for a disproportionately large amount of crime and general misery, but only a few become serial killers, , or child molesters. In these cases there is generally at least one additional diagnosis.

A psychopath is defined as having no concern for the feelings of others and a complete disregard for any sense of social obligation. They seem egocentric and lacking insight and any sense of responsibility or consequence. Their emotions are thought to be superficial and shallow, if they exist at all. They are considered callous, manipulative and incapable of forming lasting relationships, let alone of any kind of love. It is thought that any emotions which the true psychopath exhibits are the fruits of watching and mimicking other people's emotions. They show poor impulse control and a low tolerance for frustration and aggression. They show no empathy, remorse, anxiety or guilt in relation to their behavior. In short, they truly seem devoid of conscience.

In contemporary research and clinical practice, Robert Hare's Psychopathy Checklist-Revised
(PCL-R) is the psycho-diagnostic tool most commonly used to assess Psychopathy.

Dr. Robert D. Hare is a researcher renowned in the field of criminal psychology. He is professor emeritus of the University of British Columbia where his studies centered on psychopathology and psychophysiology. He developed the Psychopathy Checklist ( PCL ) and Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), used to diagnose cases of psychopathy and also useful in predicting the likelihood of violent behavior. He advises the FBI's Child Abduction and Serial Murder Investigative Resources Center (CASMIRC) and consults for various British and North American prison services.

Too many people hold the idea that psychopaths are essentially killers or convicts. The general public hasn't been educated to see beyond the social stereotypes to understand that psychopaths can be entrepreneurs, politicians, CEOs and other successful individuals who may never see the inside of a prison and who don't commit violent crimes.

However, they do often commit violations of another sort: They exploit people and leave them depleted and much the worse for the encounter. They prove to be treacherous employees, conniving businessmen, or immoral officials who use their position to victimize people and enrich themselves.

"Psychopathy is a personality disorder," Hare writes in Without Conscience, "defined by a distinctive cluster of behaviors and inferred personality traits, most of which society views as pejorative."

In other publications, he points out that among the most devastating features of psychopathy are a callous disregard for the rights of others and a propensity for predatory and violent behaviors. Without remorse, psychopaths charm and exploit others for their own gain. They lack empathy and a sense of responsibility, and they manipulate, lie and con others with no regard for anyone's feelings.

That description sounds plain enough, but over the decades the concept and definition of psychopathy have gone through many changes. Unfortunately, some of these shifts have been the product of evolving fashion in the professional community rather than an attempt to better identify the members of a specific population. While psychopathy was the first personality disorder that psychiatry formally recognized, it wasn't easy to crystallize a workable concept for behavioral analysis. Hare has been at the forefront of those researchers who have identified just what a psychopath is.

Most of the two million psychopaths in North America aren’t murderers. They’re our friends, lovers and co-workers. They’re outgoing and persuasive, dazzling you with charm and flattery. Often you aren’t even aware they’ve taken you for a ride ‒ until it’s too late.

Psychopaths exhibit a Jekyll and Hyde personality. “They play a part so they can get what they want,” says Dr. Sheila Willson, a Toronto psychologist who has helped victims of psychopaths. The guy who showers a woman with excessive attention is much more capable of getting her to lend him money, and to put up with him when he strays. The new employee who gains her co-workers’ trust has more access to their chequebooks. And so on. Psychopaths have no conscience and their only goal is self-gratification. Many of us have been their victims ‒ at work, through friendships or relationships ‒ and not one of us can say, “A psychopath could never fool me.”

A psychopath can have high verbal intelligence, but they typically lack "emotional intelligence". They can be experts in manipulating others by playing to their emotions. There is a shallow quality to the emotional aspect of their stories (i.e., how they felt, why they felt that way, or how others may have felt and why). The lack of emotional intelligence is the first good sign you may be dealing with a psychopath.

A history of criminal behavior in which they do not seem to learn from their experience, but merely think about ways to not get caught is the second best sign.

The following is a list of items based on the research of Robert Hare, Ph.D. which is derived from the "The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised, Toronto: Multi-Health Systems."

These are the most highly researched and recognized characteristics of psychopathic personality and behavior.

• glibness/superficial charm
• need for stimulation/prone to boredom
• conning/manipulative
• shallow emotional response
• parasitic lifestyle
• promiscuous sexual behavior
• lack of realistic long term goals
• irresponsibility
• many short term relationships
• revocation of conditional release
• grandiose sense of self worth
• pathological lying
• lack of remorse or guilt
• callous/lack of empathy
• poor behavioral controls
• early behavioral problems
• impulsivity
• juvenile delinquency
• criminal versatility
• failure to accept responsibility
for their own actions

There is no actual diagnosis of Psychopathy in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), but it is a highly studied area.

A psychopath is not the same as an antisocial personality. Antisocial personalities may or may not be psychopathic. The antisocial personality is primarily a problem involving a failure to respect the right of individuals, the law and rules of society.

Psychopathy involves poor emotional intelligence, the lack of conscience, and an inability to feel attached to people except in terms of their value as a source of stimulation or new possessions. There are many expressions and forms of psychopathy. For instance, a sexual psychopath is one form of a psychopath.

Psychopaths can still exist in any social class

The above information has been extracted from the following sources:


Crime Library,


Without a Conscience - The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us , Robert D. Hare, PhD,

The Mask of Sanity - Dr. Hervey M. Cleckely ,

The Sociopath Next Door - Martha Stout, PhD

On that note I would like to say although VanMichael your field may be in Law, mine is in Psychology. I have researched and studied Psychology for more than 25 years.

You might want to educate yourself a little more in this field before you start making accusations of something you know very little about.

As you can see I do know about the DSM IV and the DSM IV-TR as I have used them as diagnostic tools. I also study other important and valuable texts and keep up on the latest information regarding Psychology.

Your views on what denotes Psychopathy is antiquated and trite. And yes I do know Psychopaths as I have proven in my blog that they are not stereo typical murderers, and or criminals.

Further more if you really had read my entire blog you would have noticed that I mention "He" was diagnosed by 3 psychologists for Psychopathy and Sociopathic Narcissism. This diagnosis is not based on my opinion. It is a fact...end of story.

Telling the truth is not slander or libel. It would be libel since it is written and not spoken. Get your facts straight.

sensually_4ever 42M/F

4/21/2006 4:47 am

eiii yiii yiiiii


um... am I a phsochopath? (deliverate misspell here)

hmm I hope not
can we be friends *wistful tone*

Hiya Velvet.. thought I would come and check out your blog as well..
thanks for all the info on psycho's and now I am going to analyze everyone I know..LOL


sensually_4ever 42M/F

4/21/2006 5:03 am

OK.. now I just read your blog..

All of it.
I now understand and concur.



4/21/2006 5:44 pm

Hi Sens...Thank you for at least appearing to believe me. You are definitely not one…LOL

I have briefly chatted with you in chat before and have sat on the couch watching the conversations once in a while and I have enjoyed your comments and humor.

There have been some who have been really upset at my outing this person but I assure you it is not to be vengeful but to inform. Unless you have been through something like this it is completely unbelievable.

I don't blame those who think this is all in spite or revenge. Who can believe such horrible things can happen? But they do and many women have experienced the same from other men.

It is hurtful when others think that such things are made up. You will get the occasional few who don't understand. He has befriended some in the "clique" that you know and has convinced them that all this is slander and untrue which is how he operates.

If they were to meet me they would probably change their mind as I am straight forward and treat others as I wish to be treated. I am a good person who got tricked by this man into believing he was a good person. He did a real good job of lying to me and manipulating everything about him to gain my confidence and love. He can not love or respect anyone as his goal in life is to take what he can for himself. I hope you can continue to believe after the people in your social circle who have been with him try to convince you other wise.

Thanks again Sens….

dayman7 57M

5/1/2006 9:38 am

I read your entire blog and I am sorry for the abuse you have suffered. Most people will read your blog and think it is sour grapes or "Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned". Unfortunately I have a narcissistic psychopath in my family,my youngest brother, he has used and abused everyone in our family for his own benefit. He then disappears when the lies start to unravel or when he is no longer able to con any more money out of whoever he is around. I am sorry to say I have been conned by him more times than I wish to admit to. He has the gift of gab and plays the brother card to manipulate me. I always hope he has changed and I am really helping him only to be disappointed again.

I think most people get their interpretation of what a psychopath is from TV or the movies and really don't know what they are talking about.


SirMounts 102M

5/8/2006 7:58 am

This is a very intelligent and interesting blog, Velvetgirl. *smiling*


5/9/2006 8:28 pm

Thanks for the caring words dayman7 and as you know first hand these type of people are very brutal and it's tough to get others to believe. I think some think I am a woman scourned but... I am sooooo relieved he is out of my life and thank everyday that passes how lucky I am and how happy I am. I have made many friends since and some will be friends for life.

I too am sorry you are going through such hard times with your brother as this must be even harder as he is family. Unfortunately there is not much you can do but try to protect yourself as you can not change him. I hope your situation gets better for you and take good care of yourself.


5/9/2006 8:29 pm

*Smiles back* Thank you Sirmounts...

SirMounts 102M

5/10/2006 9:24 am

Well, the pleasure is truly... all Mine, Velvetgirl. *smiling broadly*

sensually_4ever 42M/F

5/10/2006 8:51 pm

Velvet.... lol

I am sorry I didn't recognize you the last time in chat..

I even saw the particular person that you are referring to come into chat the other day...

I rather facetiously asked, "has everyone read Velvet Girl's Blog" just to see what he would do..

Now you would think.. if he had done nothing wrong and it was all in your head? he woulda defended himself or something to that effect, He didn't just turned and left.

I believe ya my gal

Come talk to me sometime ok? If he shows up? lol I got your back



5/10/2006 11:44 pm

Thanks Sens... for your kindness and support, as it has been a very hard and difficulty journey and I have survived it with flying colors.

The part that has been somewhat tough at times, has been the judgment from others, as to my motivation for outing this person. I have a lot of friends who I adore, and they are my friends for life as I am a dedicated and very loyal person, and would give the shirt off my back to those in need. They... have witnessed all of it from the beginning and know the hardship I have gone through, and not once did they hear me speaking inappropriately about him. I only spoke the truth of what I went through. Thank you for believing me and sticking up for me.

If he shows up when I'm in chat he will probably just leave as he did the last time you saw him in there. Someone who is innocent does not run and hide, they stand up for themselves. I will gladly come back and talk with you and no worries about not recognizing me the other day. You are a stand up gal and it has been a real pleasure to have met you.


dayman7 57M

5/15/2006 10:11 am

Velvet..the problem with these types of people is that they are very good at finding the type of person that they can exploit. At first they appear to be very attentive and they are smooth talkers who appear to say all the "right" things. This is just a ploy to get their hooks into their target. Everything they say and do is for their own benefit. Their victims are always kind and caring individuals who have empathy for others, this is what they look for.

If you were some how able to speak to their next victim to warn them, they would not believe you. They would already have been duped by the psychopaths charm. They are almost like profilers seeking the right type of personality to exploit.

Just know that you were targeted because you care about others and because of your loyalty to those you care about.

I hope this experience does not change you or "harden" you. Unfortunately my own experiences cause me to be suspicious of other peoples motives and make me fear letting others in. It makes it very hard to open up emotionally to others. Don't let him steal this away from you.

sensually_4ever 42M/F

5/15/2006 7:26 pm


hmmm this one seems nice





5/17/2006 2:29 pm

Dayman 7...the best description I have encountered so far.

Good job on describing what these types of people do. You are so right about how they prey on the caring types and exploit them.

I have tried to warn his new victim, but of course she won't believe. She will have to find out for herself as I did.

The process is a tough one, but it strengthens a person in many ways and if you can get through it like I did, it teaches you a lot about yourself, if open to it. I am not hardened by it, but wiser now. I have not let the experience change me in a negative way, but I do know what these types look like, and can spot them a mile away.

I have let others in since, and have had good experiences from that. I am not going to let him steal anything from me, as I am a strong person, who is so much more emotionally healthier then he could ever be. Life is good, and I am a lucky girl.



5/17/2006 2:34 pm


Will try to chat to ya soon...

When is the next M&G? Might cum and meet ya.


sensually_4ever 42M/F

5/18/2006 8:04 pm



florallei 99F

6/20/2006 12:40 pm

Hello Velvet,

Very informative, intelligent and well thought out. Will be visiting you more often...my first time...on your site...an "intelligent" woman...very appealing!!!


florallei 99F

6/20/2006 12:51 pm

Hello Again,

Sorry...wanted to add to your comment that these psycho paths...can be CEO...etc...I believe they are highly intelligent and uses their power or authority to manipulate otherw with no conscience...
I watched an Aussie movie "The Proposition"...based on the true story of the Burns brothers....violent acts...the oldest brother....the leader seemed highly intelligent and well learned...and used it to control his two younger brothers and others to commit such horrific crimes...ghastly and sickening were their brutalities...
I don't claim to know this "illness" well...but it does terrify me how another person can dominate others for their sick glorification...


6/21/2006 2:17 am

Thanks again florallei for your nice words and positive feed back.

Yes there are people who manipulate and brutalize others with out conscience, but some of them do it so well you almost don't see it until it is too late.

It's the ones that are not obvious to the rest of us, until we get close to them, that leave us with the emotional scars. The ones that we have a hard time explaining to the rest of the world, what it is they have actually done to us. They are the wolves in sheeps clothing. Hopefully you never have to deal with one.

Happiness and good fortune to you

notforbarbies 54M

7/1/2006 2:10 am

Just because he works at a law firm as a janitor does not NECESSARILY qualify him to diagnose psychopathy. I think his justification for posting this rude, uneducated and misspelled rant lies entirely in his ability to afford renting "Silence of the Lambs". Don't you wish HE was a lamb?
I've read some of your blog (I will read all of it) and am surprised to find this kind of lucidity and indepth on a site like this. On a personal note you strike me as superlatively literate and if that's not enough, pretty as hell with a very charming smile.
Nice to know you're out there!


7/26/2006 3:23 am

Hi Marty...sorry it took me awhile to reply with all the emails I receive daily and the comments I sometimes miss posts...lol

Your post is indeed quite funny and refreshing at that. Thank you for your kind words and insightful, witty remarks.

Glad there are men like you out there. In some ways it counteracts the true sociopathic morons that ruin it for the rest of us.

Thank you for taking the time to read my entire blog as I know it can be daunting to do so.

Take care,

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