RIP Ronnie Barker  

Ucumalot2 54M
5 posts
12/5/2005 9:50 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

RIP Ronnie Barker


This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies.
Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though God
knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one
complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for
the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting
the spoonerisms (and not wetting yourself) as you read..........



This is the story of Rindercella and her
sugly isters. Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a
marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors,
emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the
day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right
bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was
called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;
they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had
tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
Rindercella go. Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her
gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she
was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite
wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who
had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told
Rindercella to be back by dimlight otherwise there would be a
cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with
the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve.
"Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran
out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass
glipper. The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on
Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly,
Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's
fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly
ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown
cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly
isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty
Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking
fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on
Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and
the prandsome hince were married. The prandsome hince lived
his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a
follen swanny!

AyrshireDoc 35M

12/5/2005 11:02 am

for some reason i keep imagining "yeah but no but yeah but..." at the start of that.

Barker is genius though. sorry, *was* a genius. why do the good always die so young???


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