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Players, manipulation and deciet? Good or bad?
Players, manipulation and deciet? Good or bad?
Brace yourself coz its a long one lol
You often hear people talking about players. about being decieved and those who have tried to manipulate them, always in a negative light and always spoken from a victims vantage point (not mentality, just meaning they were the victim of the act as opposed to the perpetrator although some DO live their lives as permanent "victims" of the universe, but thats a different topic entirely)
Anyway, we've all heard people mention them and bitch about them, but how many of them are real? How many people who genuinely believe thats what someone was is not only deluding the audience but also themselves?
The definition of a player is thus
"One that plays, especially:
One who participates in a game or sport.
One who performs in theatrical roles"
The act or practice of manipulating.
The state of being manipulated.
Shrewd or devious management, especially for one's own advantage
The act or practice of deceiving; deception.
A stratagem; a trick.
Bit obvious but they ARE important here
So, now lets change topic completely.....dating, the chase, being chased
Or are we?
Its a widely held belief that women want to be chased, that even when they are interested in a man many women will act the complete opposite, put obstacles in the way of interaction, play hard to get etc etc etc
So, thats manipulation plain and simple, its also a deciet as she is acting uninterested when she really is, she is "playing" a game
So now to the man, he will be "playing" the same game, his goal obviously is the woman, her interest, her affection maybe even just her body but the act of pursuit is the same as set by the stance of dissinterest the woman takes
He will try to find things to do and say that will reverse her false dissinterest, try to do whatever is necessary to attain the prize
So he is playing, yes/no? Or woo-ing and pursuing?
Fine line really isnt it?
Infact a man who is just chasing a woman for a single shag and one chasing her in the hope she is "the one" both do and say the same things pretty much, the difference isnt really there till after both men have slept with her, and yet the "playing" will be described as the process previous to the bumping of uglies
So how does that work because strictly speaking either both men were chasing, or woo-ing but just had different end aims or both were players but one had a more noble prize in mind. Still doesnt explain how the process can be called two different things really when its inherently identical in both cases
Well thats where we flip back to the woman, it centres around what she wants out of it
The bulk of society is a mass of insecurites and worry, as such people avoid a lot of questions that really should HAVE to be asked, but rather than risk asking having a negative effect, or worse still getting an answer you dont like people both male and female "assume" based on what they can see, trouble is that what they can "see" is slanted and tainted by what they want to see, and in its worse case can cause people to bend reality to riduculous extents and not hear things that have been said, or twist the context and meaning into what they wanted it to mean by interpretive alterations or worse yet hear things they wanted to hear in sentences that didnt really say it by the same method
So then we skip forward, the person who was after more than a shag but didnt actually vocalise that will be seen as "woo-ing" or romancing her, sweeping her off her feet with actions and words because at the end of it she got what she was assuming was the aim so it was "pure pursuit"
But the woman who gets shagged then ignored will claim she was played, even tho she was equally manipulating the man to get what she wanted and was for the purpose of comparison "played" with the exact same series of actions and words, the only difference is that what she "assumed" would be the outcome wasnt, so it wasnt pure, SHE didnt guess wrong, SHE didnt read more into it than was said, SHE didnt conveniently ignore obvious signs he didnt want more, SHE didnt make any mistakes at all, she was lied to, decieved and played
Really, once the chirade is stripped away what you really have in "the chase" is two people playing each other at poker in many instances, each hiding their hand and each guessing at what the other persons hand is, the only difference really is that when someone loses at poker they dont then start calling the winner names or blaming them for their loss lol, how silly would that be?
The answer is to simply put your cards on the table, be completely honest, or as honest as you can be seeing as we cant see into the future or predict how we will feel in a week or so that way you both know where you stand (or kneel lol ) and no "playing" or self deceiving can occur, which in reality is what a lot of proclaimed playing is. The "victim" decieving themselves into believing its the fairy tale romance when often it hasnt been claimed to either be or not be that by the "player", so the only deceiving going on in those cases is what they are doing to themselves
Thing there is that those sort of people struggle with personal responsibility, they cant admit fault or mistakes and live in a world where everything that has ever been wrong in their life was someone elses fault, so the only way they can see it is that they were played
Thing here tho is if someone has lets say a clear and known issue with one night stands why do they still sleep with someone on the first nighr hoping the person wants more but not actually asking?
Just how dumb on a scale of 1 to 10 is that? I would put it around 14-15 ish lol, especially as that kind of woman will have had that happen to them many many times and each time they claim they were misled Eh? What happened to learning? Adapting? Altering?
They will often claim its because they cant fight their attraction for someone lol, well in that case its a foregone conclusion from the outset and no playing or deceit is needed innit, so that instantly shoots the whole "fable" in the foot lol
Anyway, hopefully some of what I was trying to show will be intelligible from that, basically that what women class as "being played" is actually the exact same thing they wanted to get from the man in the first place, it doesnt become negative unless the ending isnt the one they wanted which IMO makes the entire thing a bit of a deluded and none existant phonomenon "doo doo da doo doo, phonomenon, doo doo da doo" lol, werent the muppets ace eh?
5/22/2006 6:43 am
Well to be honest its not the fact people do it that that I have a problem with, its when someone who has done it but didnt win the person over rather than saying something like "I tried and failed, fair do's,,,,NEXT" takes the stance that they were honest, above board and straight about what they were doing and all the game playing was the other person, it smacks of either hypocritical double standatds or a complete lack of self awaredness niether of which are attractive traits in a partner of either gender and its mde worse when someone who is fully aware they are playing as much as the other person then claims to have been "played"|
Personally if I ever thought I had been played I'd be too embarassed to admit to being such an idiot, but some people seem to wear the badge with pride and put great effort into advertising the fact which simply comes over as a case of "me think the lady prostesteth too much" really