God Buys American  

TwoMuchPhun 56M/58F
24 posts
10/29/2005 5:27 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

God Buys American

{{{Introductory Addendum: Thank God the weekend‘s finally here after a long, tiring week! Given that feeling, I thought this would be a good Post to add, both for that, and that it specifically deals with my New Hampshire neighbors. It hasn’t been off My World... and Welcum to it! ’s Page One for too long, tho once gone Posts tend to be forgotten. Something that I‘m not sure why it happens to this way; but Bloging hasn‘t seemed to catch on up here- does no one have anything to say, the opportunity to Blog simply hasn‘t been noticed, or is every available thought and writing effort expended at getting laid? Inquiring minds want to know…}}}



I had the strangest, anti-religious epiphany- on my drive home, God passed me by… but Karma’s Wheel turns steadily (even if I don’t drive a Karmen Ghia)- because several miles down the road, I passed by God!

It’s the truth- God drives a venerably older Chrysler New Yorker Town Car, complete with a Landau Roof. Not too surprisingly, the car is Sky Blue. What I did find somewhat odd about the Lord’s conveyance was that it only had the left rear hubcap still along for the ride… the remaining three hubcaps no doubt blessing three separate ditches scattered about New England. Also, there’s some sooty-looking schmutz accreted along the rocker panels, but for a car to’ve weathered that many NH winters w/o rust spots as that New Yorker has is still pretty doggone miraculous.

Given that God probably has about as much in liquid assets as Bill Gates, it seems reasonable that He’d spring for the extra $30 a year to have a Vanity Tag, which was my first clue that I was sharing the road with the Devine (No, not the plus-sized Female Impersonator!).

Being an Entity that can cause entire cosmos’ to wink into existence without batting an eye, I really don’t suppose the slogan, “CREE8ER” is much of a stretch. Ultimate Being or not though, God is still no match for the DMV! Searching their available plate registry upon returning to my crumble abode, I’ve since found that CREATOR, CRE8OR , CREE8OR, and even, CREATER were all already taken. No matter how big you are, there’s always somebody bigger…

In the rear window on the Driver’s side, was a sticker with a couple of Doctor Seuss-looking yellow critters, with the caption, “Too little time to hate.” Seemed a kinda ambiguous message for the alleged God of Love to offer His worshippers…

In my brief encounter, I observed that Michelangelo was fairly close to the mark. God does have the white hair and matching beard- the beard, however, is neat and close-trimmed, and His hair isn’t wildly-flowing locks, but is pretty short too, and is showing a fair-sized bald patch towards the back.

God also has a somewhat bulbous nose, upon which rested what appeared to be bifocal glasses. And, quite startlingly, He wasn’t wrapped in a bed sheet! All I could see was a blue pinstriped Oxford, comfortably opened two buttons down at the collar… and you wouldn’t think that the Omnipotent would need to wear suspenders, but apparently, He does!!! Go fig.

He was kind of Kris Kringley in appearance; except for a somewhat grim expression around the mouth- all while staring straight ahead, and a near white-knuckle grip on the wheel. BTW, God seems to favor, and approve of, the standard 10 and 2 O‘clock steering wheel hand positions, if you should happen to be at all interested in how the Ultimate drives.

Incidentally, it appears that God lives in Windham, NH… which is ironic, as it’s traditionally at that exit that the commute south inevitably starts to turn Hellish…



{{{Author’s Argument Afterword. From a Post where I explain why I wasn’t taking a Blogging break as I swore I was about to…

Maybe ONE More Post…

OK, I know that I’m supposed to be on vacation! Getting out and about, visiting the neighbors and saying, “Howdy” to my chums, meeting and getting acquainted with folx a few blocks over here in Blogsville I haven’t met before…

The thing is, my Muse can be SUCH a chatty chick at times: and the inspiration of being Passed by, and then quite consciously pursuing and passing the very same Car, all the while looking for all the details I could… all that because of the Vanity Plate with the slogan, “CREATE”.

Chances are, the Driver is an Arts and Crafts Teacher nearing His retirement… but in case I’m wrong about that, it doesn’t hurt my chances of Salvation to capitalize appropriately!

Tomorrow is another day (to fuck up magnificently). }}}

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