They beat the nice into me.  

TurnLock 59M
454 posts
6/22/2006 3:47 am

Last Read:
5/25/2008 7:22 am

They beat the nice into me.


I am a nice guy because of how I was raised as a child. Pretty simple, I shouldn’t have to explain any more. Mom and Dad and Grandma, beat the nice into me. Not being nice was not an option. It was a simple agreement. I did what they told me to and there would be no trouble. I didn’t always want to do all that stuff, I wanted to play, go outside and get dirty. I ruled the straight and narrow. Grandma liked it when people said I was the perfect gentleman and that my manners were also perfect. I got good grades in school, because I is smart. I had trouble with math and the neighbor across the street was a teacher so Grandma had her help me with my math a couple days of the week. As a result of her help I was an honors Algebra, Trigonometry student at Lindblom Tech on the South Side of Chicago.

Being smart wasn’t always appreciated by everyone. I used to get bullied and one day my father came to pick me up and this kid hit me and I didn’t do anything and got in the car. My father explained to me that he was going to whip me if I didn’t go back there and hit that boy. I was scared, but I was more scared of getting a dad whipping, so I fought the boy. It was terrible, something I still question if I should had done. Beating that boy felt great and after that it was hard to bully me. A student threat in the class room was met with a pop to the head in the classroom. I would say “we don’t have to wait until 3:15.” It was a cheap shot, but it felt good and it ended some non-sense.

I remember when they used to try and gang up on me and I was walking with my friend. We just beat the crap out of them all. 4 or 5 to 2 it was a fair fight. The next day we got in trouble for bullying them. That was funny. I got all that violence out of me, a lot of beatings and punishments straighten that out.

Me a nice guy, I saw too many assholes and I attributed that to there lack of intelligence. Situations where too difficult to negotiate for them, they were unable evaluate good/bad or if there were other solutions for what they wanted. They were reactionary because they couldn’t think of any other way to solve their problems. I saw how they mistreated girls and later women. Wanting one of my own one day, they helped me a lot, learning what not to do. I also noticed how bad boys brought out the evil in women; I wanted a nice woman too so being an asshole was out of the question.

I still try to be a nice guy despite my wishes and desires. There is a reality that can’t be denied; Bad guys get women. A mystery that has defied my ability to understand. They lied, they mistreat and they cheat. I hope they are great lovers, or none of this makes sense. One day it will become clear, someone will reveal how this works and my brain can take a rest. In the mean time, I’m going be a nice guy with predator sexual desires so don’t fuck with me, lol. I mean it.

rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
6/22/2006 9:15 am

The old school belief of how to raise a child.."spare the rod and spoil the child". Well..I know it worked for a lot of people..but that's not how I raised my daughters. Yet..they turned out to be beautiful..wonderful young women. However..if I'd had boys..it may have been necessary to raise them differently.

It seems that the main difference with you..and others who may not have turned out so well..is that you had a father in the home. And he..along with your mom and grand mom..took an active interest in your well being and development. So many have been denied that.

You were lucky. And the fact that you had those caring and nurturing family members around you..helped you develop your mind. Just think of all those geniuses out there..who have gone to waste.

Kids most often learn social behavior by example. It's a rare individual..who turns bad example into something positive..like knowing how not to behave or how to treat someone by the negative behavior they've witnessed.

The same goes for women. If they've been taught to have low self esteem..and/or if all the interaction they've seen between men and women..in close relationships..has been abusive..then..that is what they expect and accept.

It's a myth that nice guys always finish last. As far as I can see..it's the hype and stereotyping..that makes it seem so. I've found that there are men who know how to treat a woman with respect..and are also fantastic lovers.

Kiss

Kiss


MissKittyNip26 105F

6/22/2006 9:30 am

Hmm.. I don't understand the mystery of of fallin' for the bad guy either, but I've definitely been there. Though.. I like nice guys too.


amoldenough 69F
16436 posts
9/1/2006 11:38 am

Many women prefer nice guys. So, please, stay nice.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."


TurnLock replies on 9/2/2006 6:40 pm:
It's in my nature to be nice.

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