I don  

TurnLock 59M
454 posts
8/18/2006 6:06 pm

Last Read:
1/14/2014 11:30 pm

I don

I don’t write to many women these days. It’s seems mathematically impossible to get in the door. That’s the excuse I’m using. There is what, 10,000 men to 1 woman and then I have to compete with the women that want women. It’s a challenge to find a big tit, sexually adventurous, horny, wants to suck the life out of me kinda of girl.

I keep in practice writing though; I’ve been working on the following boiler-plate emails:


Yo tities are huge; I wish I could suck them thru the screen. I’m clutching my wood now and moaning yo name. How about a hook up, I’m horny, you horny so what?


Last time I saw an ass like that I was in lockup and they were bringing the hookers in. Since I just got out, I got a lot of sperm on a mission baby, let’s do what comes natural. I don’t usually pay for it, but if you got a price?

Big Dick

I can tell by your profile that you want a man with at least 7 to 9 inches, well you found him. I’m clutching 11 inches of USADA approved beef baby. I can hit it from the bathroom, this shit goes around corners. Get your dreams fulfilled here. Hurry this dick isn’t going to fuck itself.

I want you

I’m not like all the other guys, you have been approached by. I read your profile and although you are looking for a woman only, I think I can fill your desires. When I first discovered my feminine side it was during the first year of my marriage…..

… and that lead to the divorce. She couldn’t handle it but maybe you can.


This is my first time here and I read your profile and we have the same sexual interest and I think we should get together and experience what each has to offer. I will only be in town this week so catch me while you can.

The one that never works for me and you might be able to explain why this is:


I saw your picture and my attraction was immediate, after reading your profile, I feel that we might have common ground for a relationship. My desire is to know you as a person first and then move to a sexual relationship if our feeling lead that way. What ever the case may be I rather be friends first.

After limited success with this I worked this one out. If you get this you know it’s from me.

How ‘bout it

I’ve got nothing to offer you except a warm throbbing dick. Sure I want to be your friend, I fuck all my friends, just ask them. If you’re horny then I’m the cure, baby. What you got no phone, im me I’m here 24/7 I be looking for you.

Now that’s Shakespeare.

JuicyBBW1001 54F

8/18/2006 7:44 pm

Oh my you do need some relief poor thing.


TurnLock replies on 8/18/2006 8:16 pm:
I need viagra and a willing partner or two willing partners to work the kinks out.

amoldenough 70F
16436 posts
8/18/2006 8:01 pm

This was a good one, TL. Thanks for the laugh. I enjoy your blog.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."

TurnLock replies on 8/19/2006 1:45 am:
You are always welcome.

MissKittyNip26 106F

8/19/2006 8:37 am

LOL!! I like the "hello" one.. but to be honest, it really has NOTHING to do with the e-mail.. it's ALL ABOUT the profile!! I check the profile of every e-mail I get usually (from the downright ignorant to the polite and shy). If they're so "my type" (black, young, tall, slim, single, and lookin' for a fat white girl), then I'll respond to their e-mail no matter what they wrote. BUT, if they're so NOT "my type" (old, white, fat, and married), then I'll ignore their e-mail no matter what the wrote.

Though, some people that hit me up fall in the middle section.. they could be partly my type, but not all the way.. or I just can't tell. When that's the case, I then determine if I'll respond based on their e-mail I guess.

TurnLock replies on 8/19/2006 11:11 am:
HELLO, That's the one I use. It has yield very little response. I prefer the caustic How ‘bout it

TurnLock replies on 8/20/2006 5:42 am:
So, if I put "Fat White Girl" in my profile, it would draw your interest?

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