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This week my 2nd eldest daughter returned from college for her summer break. Today my 3rd eldest daughter graduates from High School. August 1st my future ex-wife leaves for KCMO. I’m going to hate to see her go, since she is taking my children and they mean the world to me. That’s when they’re not making me mad. I’m getting webcams, so I can talk to them every day.
Every day they can watch their father deteriorate from eating his own cooking. Like the Color Purple, I’m going to go out and find a woman to take care of the cleaning, cooking and sexual needs. That’s a joke for those that don’t know me. I can’t afford that kind of woman. I’m saving that money for the hookers.
As I have stated at times, I can be shy, not confident in my actions. I note this is usually a result of my environment. So chatting is a new experience for me. It started off relative easy, I would just enter a conversation that was public with my comments or after viewing a profile and getting a slight interest, I would comment on what about the profile or picture that got my interest and I was surprised that I could get a positive result from people. I would chat in the “Chicagoland” chat room. I saw the likes of Alluring71 my personal favorite. It’s a one sided love affair, she acknowledges me and accepts my devotion to her, but she has a boyfriend and children and lives too damn far for me to act upon it. I should restate this it's an "unrequited Love." Like a fan to a star. I treat it as a harmless flirtation on my part. It’s also harmless flirtation when I talk to women under 35, I’m too old and I consider dating them stealing their youth.
Chatting opens up my communication skills which are so desperately in need of fixing. If I don’t talk to women, I’ll never get a woman. I must not be allowed to live alone, I can get sloppy. It’s gonna be tough getting a woman here. Some are looking for Black men only; I got that. Then they want one with a big thick dick; it seems big to me, let’s check…. It’s ample, err average size. They want a man with an 8 to 10 inch dick that’s thick and hard; I ain't got that. Then I move to the next profile, she wants a man who can suck her well dry; I ain’t got that either, I don’t like eating pussy. Usually the pussy eating women also want the big dick guys too. Maybe it’s the Black stereotype, that we are all hung and hung well. I swear my penis used to be bigger and harder than this when I was younger. I heard that I’m going to shrink, but not the PP.
Back to chatting, I was okay. Little concerned that people might think me crazy, because I said what I felt. Lately I’ve been saying less and merely observing conversations. It’s been harder to find things to talk about. Once in awhile I become inspired and the pearls just roll thru the keyboard. One time I was rapping (Old term word used in the 70’s to indicate a man attempting to seduce a woman with words, not to be confused with 2000 year entry musically talking shit) and this guy gave me a compliment on my style. I was making my move and just didn’t know how to address this compliment. I ignored it and continued my . Imagining me with a seems so funny. I must have something to get married twice.
Sometime I think its all energy. The energy I had for chatting is being used on my blogging. I like writing this stuff. It allows me to express myself, release the crap down inside and analyze my actions. Saying that, I want to thank all the people who have read about my life. My views are down, so I must have offended some people. I can’t completely change me and I am writing this for me, so I can’t really apologize for being me. I hope not to offend, but if such is the case, let it be. If you don’t read me, I recommend Frogger1995 as if she needs viewers. I love her writing. She can tell a sexy tale and I see 10,000 males lining up to meet her, do her, whatever.