As I become what I hate  

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5/28/2006 7:09 am

Last Read:
6/2/2007 10:05 pm

As I become what I hate

Last night my friend revealed to me that I知 a pessimist; I see only the negative of everything. Naturally I disagreed and she provided example after example and I have to agree. I can find the bad side to a lot of situations, which is okay if I知 doing worst case scenarios. Life choices, this is not a good trait. I had decided not to do things, enjoy things based on worst case. I have become what I have hated most a pessimist or defeatists.

It痴 not too late for me. I can change; all I have to do is do something that I would probably not usually do. My options are limitless; go out to a club, talk to a woman, go to a strip club, catch a disease, engage in outdoor activities. I promised my friend that I would do something of this nature to break out of the mold. Talking to her is like listening to myself, she is a little more blunter than I am. I gather that痴 how I talk to people; I see how intimating I can be. Plus add my physical size and I suspect, I have scared quite a few people.

My family is in Dallas TX for a family reunion. I opted not to go. The defeatist in me saw 26 hrs of some kind of senseless fighting and I decided to avoid that. For a few days, I get to enjoy the peace and quiet of the house to myself. I get to go around the house as nature intended. Toilet seats up, porn on the big screen and my computer free to go where no other computer has gone before.

I get to miss them after awhile. My youngest son will tell every detail of his trip and playing with his favorite cousins and it値l be like I was there.

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