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Is One Enough?????
Is One Enough?????
Years ago I was told that there is not really one person that can meet your entire needs. I have looked at this over the years and I have come to the conclusion that they might be more right than wrong. I am a married man and I get somethings from my wife but not what most get from being married. We are like best friends more than lovers. After spending sometime with someone special from on here I find that I like how I feel from that person but not any less towards my wife. I think for me I have a side that needs to be sure I am taken care of. Not like a mommy taken care of but mutally taken care of. My friend can or may be able to meet my needs emotionally. So from where I sit I think that I can see a case that some might have the outside of the bedroom needs meet from someone that can't fill those needs inside the bedroom and visa versa. Let me know where I am off base on this one.... Some might say I am just adding to a justification of an affair, which I can't doubt has some merit. But knowing me you will know that is not the case this time.
3/20/2006 8:28 pm
I think it is true. There is no one person that can meet all of your needs throughout your life. This is because people are constantly changing. And that change means that your needs change right along with everything else. One day (or maybe several days or months) you really need your spouse, lover, friend, parent, etc. to recognize the one thing you are really needing at that point in time. Maybe it's a sincere hug, or advice, or just silence (just being there). But next week, or even the next day, that will change and you don't need that anymore.|
Of course, they say to have a healthy relationship, you have to have the lines of communication open all the time. I find it's very difficult to talk to another at times. Because the other person does not want to know or hear what you perceive as their shortcoming. Many persons do not want to truly listen. That is a problem with many relationships. If both are not willing to 'listen' to what the other is saying .... not believing they have the 'idea' of what the other is saying. But making the other person really explain what they mean. To do that, you have to set feelings aside. And that is always hard for anyone. Defenses rise, and walls are built, even if we don't intend them to be.
It's human nature. In my opinion, there are just some things that some people are just not capable of. Whether it's love, compassion, intimacy, hatred, anger, or indifference. There are some people that have not grown into adulthood emotionally. They just don't know how to handle certain things. I don't know that with some people that that is something that can ever be changed, even with the help of a doctor.
I also think there are many different reasons for a person seeking a sexual relationship outside of marriage. Another facet of the human being. Something that humans will always try to justify. Some accept the justification, and then there will be the others that won't - no matter the reasons.
I think that all anyone can do is to make themselves happy. Accept themselves as an imperfect being. Try to be a good person, nonjudgemental. And accept other people as they are - no more perfect than you are.
Good luck ........