Crossroads  

Travis33184 32M
2 posts
5/2/2005 1:12 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Crossroads


I sometimes wonder where I am going, looking back at where I have been. I question my every step, but not sure if I do so in doubt or in a philosophical light.

Well, going back to school. Going to try and work towards my Masters in Software Engineering. Work is being shaken up a lot, with almost everyone looking for a new job somewhere else or transferring elsewhere. Opening up a lot of opportunities. My hard work, dilligence, and sacrafice (my social life is the biggest placed upon that altar) may just pay off in the end.

I know that I can succeed at everything I attempt. Well...there is some thing that, no matter how I try, I end up failing miserably; relationships. I either trust too much, or too little. Love too much and smother in affections, or be too aloof.

Hmmm...then there's the question "Am I even able to have a relationship beyond friendship?" I seem to be friend material more than anything else. And, it almost hurts to know that everyone in my life sees me as just that, nothing more. Can't have too many friends, but, friends only can do so much.

Now I am rambling. I suppose I do this for a lack of creative outlet. Could do it also just to see if anyone is intrested in what I have to say.

What can I do, though? Being anti-social and guarded is salt sown on the fields of my social life. I get along well with people, but, beyond joking, beyond playfullness, there seems to be nothing but contempt for those who do not see things the way I do...for those who don't understand.

Of course...what do I understand?

...I'll have to ponder this for a time...

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