Maybe it's just me....  

TravelinMan161 55M
30 posts
6/17/2006 12:47 pm

Last Read:
10/17/2006 5:00 pm

Maybe it's just me....


but there's something (well, a lot of things, but I'm just going to deal with one at a time for now) that I find most confusing. Let me explain....

When I was still at the "e-mailing" stages with my friend "B", she confided in me that she had never had an orgasm by a man before. Not from regular sex, not from oral, not from masturbation. Nada. The only orgasms she'd ever had were from her "toy" (i.e. vibrator). As we discussed this more, she managed to tell me that all the men she'd ever been with before, whether in a serious relationship or otherwise, had pretty much been just out for themselves, pleasure-wise. Though I didn't say so to her, the thought running through my mind was "how sad is that?" And I've heard the same plaint from many women I've known, both lovers and just super close friends, that most men seem to be only out for their own pleasure, and don't give a shit about their partner's pleasure.

Now here's where the "Maybe it's just me...." comes in, because to be honest, I just can't see having sex with somebody, whether it's a soulmate, or just a really good friend that you share a mutual attraction with and feel comfortable expressing that attraction and friendship in a sexual manner with, and *not* making sure that they are also enjoying themselves and recieving pleasure as well. Not to sound funny, but to me, it is simply an extention of "The Golden Rule"; that you should treat others like you would like to be treated. In fact, there is no one single thing that turns me on during sex and keeps me turned on like seeing and feeling my partner in the throes of pleasure and ultimately of orgasm(s). To me, seeing my partner cum, feeling her body shudder and her hips buck and my hand or face (or maybe even both) getting doused with her juices-that's like a standing ovation! That means I'm "doing my job" (not that I consider pleasuring my partner a "job", but you get what I mean), which to me first and foremost is making sure my partner is enjoying herself to the fullest extent possible when we are together sexually.

I should be honest here though and say that my actions are not necessarily 100% motivated by altruism! The fact is that if the person I'm dealing with is a decent person and a real friend, odds are they will also return the act of pleasure to me as well, which will add more energy to the energy I'm recieving from giving them pleasure to begin with, which allows me to put even more energy into giving them pleasure, which energises them more and causes them to give more energy back to me, and....well, you get the picture. Sort of like a sexual feedback loop.

So to get back to my original question folks, "Is it just me?" Am I weird for actually putting my partner's pleaure before my own? Am I strange for actually getting off seeing my partner get off? Am I odd for actually getting off more and more intensely because of the fact that my partner is experiencing pleasure? You tell me....

Become a member to create a blog