Fuck buddies  

The_Succubus 31F
135 posts
12/14/2005 12:37 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Fuck buddies


Finding a good fuck buddy is as hard as finding a good boyfriend. In the last four months I have had a very short relationship and tried 4 men as fuck buddies. It didn’t work out with none of them. The first one was creepy, he had a really weird look on his face when we were having sex. The second one treated me like a whore, I had to leave his house immediately after fucking. The third one couldn’t get it up and the fourth one abandoned me last night after having disappeared for a long time because “even though I am a great woman”, I didn’t turn him on. Which is weird, coz last time we had sex everything seemed to work just fine.

Men often forget that the term ‘fuck buddy’ consists of two words, and you cannot have the one without the other. They usually pay attention only on the first word but I want to be able to communicate with someone and have a good time just talking (and maybe a good meal) before having sex. To be honest, I prefer the term ‘friends with benefits’. You are a friend in the first place and a benefit as second. And of course you ask less from a friend than a boyfriend.

I would like to hear personal experiences from you with fuck buddies: have you found a suitable one? How long have you been seeing him/her? Is it really as hard as it seems to find one or am I just asking for too much?

calis1978 38M
65 posts
12/14/2005 3:17 pm

Heya,

First...sorry i haven't read your whole blog yet.
(but i did add it to my watch list)
I have an exam tomorrow morning and shoud've been in bed about half an hour ago

It's not a problem you or women face...i'm in a somewhat similar situation. I don't like the term fuck buddy, but after some thinking and meeting a very special woman the term friends with benefits started sounding ok. Of course something unexpexted always comes up, so nothing happened between us, but i do consider her a great friend

I fully agree with you that the friendship part is the most important one. It's some one you should feel absolutely comfortable with without any obligations (for me that also means having a date without sex can still be a good one).

And no, you're not asking for too much...
I'm one of those picky people too

Keep blogging and feel free to read mine


calis1978 38M
65 posts
12/14/2005 3:22 pm

b.t.w. happy nameday
*gives 3 kisses on your cheeks*


rm_0346564089 34M
1 post
12/14/2005 7:33 pm

i am looking for a ''friend with benefits'' but i can't find one. could u tel me how to find one..?


The_Succubus 31F

12/15/2005 4:32 am

Well...here is a good place...but I have been unlucky so far to find a good one but if you don't have very high standards you should be able to get lucky.


calis1978 38M
65 posts
12/15/2005 11:59 am

Luck can change

en niet om je meteen te willen bespringen....je profiel klinkt interessant, ik zou je wel graag wat beter leren kennen.
Hier berichtjes sturen kan ik niet, maar als je interesse hebt..ik chat hier erg regelmatig en kan je ook m'n msn geven.


rm_kappa642 42M

12/15/2005 2:06 pm

ok, the issue of fuck buddies, for me at least, was close to becoming an urban myth, until i found one. the thing is that what a fuck buddie really is, is the love of your life at the wrong place and the wrong time. if you are such good friends, and you fuck good enough to do it regularly, then why not be together? well usually because you CANT be together. this was my experience for the past couple of years with this great J.Lo look-a-like, and the only thing i can say is that if i wasnt already with someone i would marry her immediatly. but instead we just fuck... ce la vie... and that's what i have to say about that.


The_Succubus 31F

12/16/2005 12:45 am

Quote: "...the thing is that what a fuck buddie really is, is the love of your life at the wrong place and the wrong time..."

That is a very interesting and a very nice way to put it. But isn't there also a sort of chemistry required for someone to be the love of your life? I have met people I liked and slept with but was it love? No way. I missed this "something" which is required to create the perfect relationship. But I loved spending time with them nontheless. And if it really is the love of your life, won't you do anything possible to be together if you both want it?


The_Succubus 31F

12/18/2005 8:49 am

Dank je wel Calis1978 en ik hoop dat je tentamen goed is gegaan.


rm_kappa642 42M

12/19/2005 3:04 am

the "love of your life" issue

how many loves of your life will you meet in a life time... my guess is quite a few. you see, love is not something static. it evolves through time, and since a life time is quite a long bit of time, love will hit you in different and multiple ways.

so.. to your question... the one little thing that is missing. It s not missing. you are just raising the bar every time, in the quest for the next one.

are you love seek junkie?

or do you just love having sex with new people?

or maybe you genuinly didn't find the right one yet


calis1978 38M
65 posts
12/19/2005 2:04 pm

Dank waarvoor?
Het idee van 3 namedays per jaar hebben lijkt me wel wat
Je wel beter willen leren kennen.
"Scholing: Huidige student hoger onderwijs (hbo/hogeschool/universiteit) "
"I try to think of myself as clever, quick witted, good looking and funny. I can be a very enjoyable company if you get to know me "

Oh en als ik dan toch iets sexueels moet noemen dan staat die bioscoop bij mij ook nog in m'n lijstje

Lijkt mij gespreksonderwerpen genoeg..

M'n tentamen van de 15e ging helaas niet goed
Maar ik had 3 van de 5 colleges niet gevolgd en de stof niet kunnne bestuderen doordat ik een zware hernia had.
De 16e kreeg ik de uitslag van een ander tentamen en daarvoor heb ik een 7


calis1978 38M
65 posts
12/19/2005 2:09 pm

    Quoting rm_kappa642:
    ok, the issue of fuck buddies, for me at least, was close to becoming an urban myth, until i found one. the thing is that what a fuck buddie really is, is the love of your life at the wrong place and the wrong time. if you are such good friends, and you fuck good enough to do it regularly, then why not be together? well usually because you CANT be together. this was my experience for the past couple of years with this great J.Lo look-a-like, and the only thing i can say is that if i wasnt already with someone i would marry her immediatly. but instead we just fuck... ce la vie... and that's what i have to say about that.
What i don't understand is, if you're already married to the love of your life (else you'd simply divorce and marry the other one). Why still have a 'fuck buddy'?

I don't see being with some one a good enough reason to claim you WANT to be with some one else, but CAN'T


The_Succubus 31F

12/21/2005 4:12 am

That is weird, I sent a reply but where is it? *sigh* I suppose I will try it again later.


justlooking8113 35M
4 posts
12/27/2005 1:12 pm

a 'friend with benefits' is a nice way of putting it... i am also looking for something a like, not only fuck, but also be friends and go out etc... to bad i'm having trouble finding one... but maybe i will meet someone here, you'll never know, right

My experience with just fuck buddies was with an ex... after the relation (we broke up as friends) we continued sleeping together for a while, i guess some 6 times or so... but being ex-lovers that did not worked, although the sex was/is great (don't know if she'll call me again )

But in the search for finding a fuck-buddie, an ex is not the right person. there is to much history.


massagekoning 44M

2/8/2006 5:45 pm

interesting subject.

i'm also a bit confused here,
what is the exact defenition of a fuck buddy?
everybody here is referring to a fuck budy as if it were a singular phenomenom but i have several simultaniously actually but some i see with an interval of years some with an interval of several months.

anyway, the bottom line is that in my experience some women find it hard to keep up their end of the bargain (maybe some men too, i don't know). that is, keeping sex and emotions out of each others way... i mean, that seems to me the whole difference between a regular relation and sex just to satisfy your lust and just have a good time.

my point is that some of them tend to fall in love with me although i made it clear i'm not looking for a relation ship with them.

but maybe it's my own fault because when it's really cosy and we are having a really relaxed time and lot of fun besides the sex thing i'm not kicking any one out the door when i maybe should at some point because i might be sending out the wrong message causing the girl to think i might be in for a relationship after all.

so it's hard...

kicking someone out the door 2 seconds after sex seems cruel but does get the message across,
staying with someone in bed for 2 straight days having a lot of fun and intemacy sends out the message you might be in for more then just the sex.

i guess it's just finding the balance somewhere in between and making each others intentions very clear from the beginning.
maybe an evaluation now and then wouldn't be bad either.

my 2 cents


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