Windows Error Messages  

TheQuietGuy2005 54M
3484 posts
9/26/2005 4:32 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Windows Error Messages

Courtesy of Seattle Post-Intelligencer (2002):

"In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third.

"Haikus are used to communicate a timeless message often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity – the essence of Zen"


Of course, it is just one more urban legend, the kind of story that amazes or amuses people or simply makes us wish so much that it were true that it leaps around the world at speeds that would make Superman jealous.

As is usual with such stories, various versions arise every now and then; when I first heard it in the late 90s the change was supposedly being made by Sony who were, it was claimed, cloning Windows as Microsoft fought against anti-trust actions.

The true source, according to Snopes (probably the leading authority on urban legends) was a competition in Salon magazine introduced as follows:

The world of high-tech has been called soulless – a charge that is borne out by on-screen error messages like "abort/retry/fail?" and "404 – file not found." Below, a modest attempt at change – an error message in the form of a haiku poem:

Something you entered
transcended parameters.
So much is unknown.


The best of the entries always appealed to me - how wonderful to take something so harsh and fundamentally annoying and create things of beauty and enlightenment (I admit, quietly, to having some Zen pretensions of my own ).

It is the hope of introducing them to a new range of readers that I reproduce this wonderful list. Who knows, maybe one day all error messages will be like this!

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.


Jx


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
9/26/2005 5:00 am

LOL! those are really funny --- especially the website one and "Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred."

they definitely are less traumatic to read than Error 404 -- or whatever -- but maybe it is just cos they are unfamiliar. I think I would still scream: "NO!" to most of them and fling all my toys out of the cot~!



[blog freelove999]


AlbertPrince 58M

9/26/2005 6:06 am

You have accepted
Windows end-user licence
We now own your house.


JJKittyKat 59F

9/26/2005 11:00 am

I liked the Three things are certain, Death,taxes and lost data, Guess which has occured. and the finality of A crash ruduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.


rm_MissAnnAgain 56F
3 posts
9/26/2005 4:30 pm

Have one for this site? Seems they've deleted me again. Fourth time in a month. And to think, this handle was supposed to be just for when I was bad in chat by posting URLs and banned yet again. Please write a haiku to make me feel better about them deleting me again?


TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
9/26/2005 9:57 pm

JJKittyKat ... The "stone" one does it for me ... far too often has my PC been turned into little more than a doorstop! That is one haiku that actually does approach Zen profundity, no?

Al ... Now that I like. You don't read Dilbert by any chance, do you?

FreeLove ... Ah but the proper Zen approach would be to meditate on the words and see the beauty and the essential truths that we can learn from them. Regrettably it doesn't help that one of the essential truths is that Windows has crashed (again) ...

MissAnnWhoeverYouAreToday ... I'm happy to try:

What is existence?
No profile to reflect you:
Do you continue?


or

Change is eternal.
Allow the world to see this:
Create new profile.


Do they make you feel better? No, I didn't think they would but then I'm no poet. Perhaps some other kind soul will help?


MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
9/27/2005 1:01 pm

Thanks Quiet. I actually like them. They did get my profile restored, finally. I just refuse to give up this handle for very long. It suits me so well.


TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
9/27/2005 9:28 pm

MissAnn ... You liked them? Wow! That's made my day You've made me wonder, though, just where I'd start if my profile disappeared ...


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