Hard Sell, Soft Sell ... Weird Sell  

TheQuietGuy2005 54M
3484 posts
8/24/2006 1:39 pm

Last Read:
4/30/2008 3:39 am

Hard Sell, Soft Sell ... Weird Sell

The last few days I've received a few rather intriguing emails - now that I now what they are, I realise it's quite possible that you have too. Plenty of my colleagues have.

They take the form of rather bizarre stories or excerpts from them. Look let me show you:

That wasbetter for Cabells purposes than having him sober.
Bybreakfast theyll be ready to sell their grandmother to a Chow fora handful of bird-seed.
And all the time that bloke was in love with ashielagh about half his age down in Sydney. Here, Cash said, its acaution to snakes in this dump.
I wish we hadnt gone near that place to-night, I says tothe old man.
Or by Jeez, Sambo, theyll grab it offen us like a dingergrabs the lights offen a bogged cow. He wouldve done her in too, had holdof her by the throat when they came in and rescued her. Next day Cash was dead drunk on the floor of the Sunrise.
The two miners were still wrangling with the peevishand reiterative monotony of the tired.
Two miners had an argument about a shovel and fought a duel arounda shed with shot-guns.
So they had tocrack him on the head with the butt of a gun to get it off him. And sure enough they looked a damn sight whiter round the gillsthan he did. By the middle of February there were three thousand men on thefield.
I just kept on running towards the smellof the sea .
Cabell walked to the door and looked out. Cabell walked to the door and looked out. Well, I reckon youre not a badbastard, Cabell. Soldhis boat and bought a new pair of flash duds and washed the smellof coons off his hands.
That wasbetter for Cabells purposes than having him sober.
His face looked like a lump of lard melting. Imgoing to hand these men in half an hour. They look the deadspeaking spit of hangmen, now dont they?
Hewasnt sorry for what hed done to her either, only wished heddone worse. Stop moaning a second and listen, Cash said and shook apreoccupied attention out of Cabell.
They had pulled up in a fern gully, cooled bywaterfalls, to rest and light their pipes.
Im not here for the scenery, Cabell said. The miner looked over the deserted claims andjumped the best.
And all the time that bloke was in love with ashielagh about half his age down in Sydney.

See what I mean about them being bizarre? Incidentally, just in case you thought I'd lost my touch all mistakes are from the original!

Here's another one:

The effect of these, she said, would make all thedifference. The lawn is marvellous;all my congratulations.
The Prince accepted a oup of tea and looked round him. There was nothing at Aquafonti but bare walls and trees and romance. As I did soit uttered a strange cry, like this, Hulloa! I never give them anything except their regularmeals.
She gave her arm to Richard as the double doors to the dining-room werethrown open. Elinors face expressed intense annoyance. She never comes in to meals; prefers eating bread, orsomething easy to carry about, out of doors. They lived high up the mountain in alittle village above Terno, as one of them told Richard. The storm subsided as suddenly as it arose. What could there be in thisgirl to hold him?
Shouldthat wall he lowered, for instance?
If only that fool Baraldi would gether those stucco-workers. He had time before the head was quicklywithdrawn to observe a pair of green eyes fixed upon him. They entered the house, which from its very threshold gave a sense ofrepletion. Elinor put back the morsel on her plate, but she was visibly annoyed bythe reprimand.
I never give them anything except their regularmeals. She held out her hand and he kept it a moment, looking straight into hergreen eyes. It was a ruin in a wilderness when I bought it. Theyre originals, the Peraldis, Baltazzo said to Elinor. Hed been promising for weeks, but they hadntturned up yet. She felt real emotion, that of the gratified artist. How is it you didnt bring Reggie, Prince? Elinor threw open the door and turned on another switch. She thrust her hair back in a great bunch, pulling her hat over it. Youre a funnee man, you ask so many questions.
As this was almost a daily occurrence, the cost mountedup by leaps and bounds. The boatman was doing something to his engine and apparently hadnot noticed her.
The Wensleydales reached Casabianca during the last week in August. Richard hesitated an instant; his impulse was tofollow her. Richard half smiled atthe wordless pantomime. Tea was finished, and Mrs Rafferty seized her staff. Mrs Rafferty was offering Elinor a piece of cream cake and almostdropped it in her surprise.
But its a jewel, the CasaTorregiani, the Trianon and the Belvedere at Miramar all in one.
One might be a fool to care who lived in it afterwards. Youre a funnee man, you ask so many questions. Yes, Mrs Rafferty is wonderful, indefatigable.
At Casana, he remarked, Ive been told she sleeps out of doors.
Afew moments later they were speeding across the lake.

Intriguing, aren't they? When I dug around a little bit, I found the graphics that had been stripped off and hidden away which showed that these are, in fact, advertising share sales.

Hmmm ... they may be perversely interesting but I'm not sure they're effective sales tools. One colleague pretty much summed it up for me: "I want some of whatever they're on!"


Ana_6973 43F

8/24/2006 1:46 pm

I get spam like that all the time. Or the ones where it seems as if they have sent you a news piece and it makes absolutely no sense. Just insane. At work, I clean out more spam emails then I do real emails. And since we can't really get rid of our email address because that is what is used in ads, on our site, with all our old customers, it sux ass when you get bombarded with "make your penis larger, watch teenage girls here, buy viagra, cialis, prozac, and increase your stamina here" emails every day in the hundreds.


~~"I can scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence."~~

TheQuietGuy2005 replies on 8/28/2006 7:23 am:
At least these have the merit of being different and, for the time being, vaguely interesting!

HotDev1l 44M
1265 posts
8/24/2006 4:03 pm

THey're actually quite clever if someone can be bothered to read em. Subliminal messaging!

TheQuietGuy2005 replies on 8/28/2006 7:24 am:
I think you're right ... except, as I said above, the response that they're eliciting from my crowd is that it seems like the author's on a rather nice trip!

Or maybe that simply says more about staff in the NHS than it does about the emails?

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
8/24/2006 5:39 pm

I want whatever they're on, too, it must make life so very fun...

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
8/27/2006 7:26 pm

OMG! I've been getting those for months. An IP trace tells me they're out of Korea and all the stocks are like penny stocks. I've watched the ticker on a few the next day. They'll open at like 4c and close at like 2c. In other words, crap stocks. The top part where the stock tip is is always a gif. Here's the latest and I hope you can see it.

TheQuietGuy2005 replies on 8/28/2006 7:27 am:
With our particular email system, the text makes it through but you have to make an effort and know what you're doing to see the graphic with the stock tip.

I like that effect: as far as most recipients here are concerned, they're just mysterious and semi-literate stories that have appeared from an anonymous donor to brighten their day! "Every cloud" and all that

shylena256 42F
1967 posts
8/28/2006 5:46 am

There is a guy in the Guardian (UK magazine) who did a great article about this spam that is stolen from books.
He has issued a challenge for you to identify the most spam that came from classic books. He found out most excerpts are from a pirate book from the 50s but has also found excerpts from "Little Women" and other classics. He gave his email address and is accepting entries for cooolest classic spam excerpts.

Apparently the excerpts are used to get past spam filters.

TheQuietGuy2005 replies on 8/28/2006 7:30 am:
Oh my! Here I am, an avid Guardian fan, and I somehow managed to miss that. *sigh* It's a sad fact of life that I buy far more copies than I ever get to read cover-to-cover.

I need to travel more widely

And I'm not sure whether or not to thank you for the fact that I now have just as avid a desire to read the "pirate book from the 50s"!

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