Sexistentialism  

Testing_Waters15 42M
2 posts
12/15/2005 8:41 pm

Last Read:
5/31/2008 1:25 pm

Sexistentialism


Why am I here? What do I possibly hope to accomplish by being a member on this site? Why does it hurt when I pee? (Bonus points for anyone who can tell me who sings the song that I borrowed the title of for that last question. Well, if you actually give a damn, I'll tell you. I'm sure that almost every guy on here would say that they are here to get laid, so I must be here to get laid, right? OK, yeah, there are those guys that are justifying it to themselves by thinking, "I just want to see what it's all about, to find out if it's for real," when secretly they want to find a hot, 18 year old lesbian couple in their neck of the woods who feels like giving one lucky guy the time of their life. So that must be why I'm here, right?
Well, kind of. To be completely honest, my life is kind of boring. At least I think so. My friends, however, seem to think that I'm some wild and crazy guy. Most of them are married with kids, though, so if I tell them I had sex once a week for a month they're impressed. At first, I just kind of felt sorry for them. But then I started to think about what was going on. They're living vicariously through me. Suddenly, I realized what I must do. It is my obligation... nay, it is my duty to them as friends to keep raising the bar for myself so that I can give them as interesting a second-hand life as possible.
So there you have it. I'm here to see if this ol' website can get me some interesting stories to pass along to my friends. I got a good response just by joining the site. It's not really anything that my friends in these parts would consider doing. I got a giggle or two from the guy who sent me an e-mail telling me that I'm hot and wants to suck my dick. (Thanks, I'm flattered, but I don't swing that way. Wish I did, since I've gotten more propositions from gay and/or bi guys than from women, but I don't.) I'm not expecting the aforementioned hot, 18 year-old lesbian couple to come out of the woodwork and throw themselves at me, but I'm thinking there's gotta be more to this. Besides, am I the only one worried that I'm gonna get Hep C by eating out some random pussy? I mean, don't you want to get to know someone a little bit before sticking their dick in your mouth? Everyone says that all "applicants" must be drug and disease free, but are you just going to take their word for it? Maybe if you're Wonder Woman and you tie them up with your lasso of truth first you can get away with it, but the rest of us just kind of have to go on instinct. I know that meeting their friends is no guarantee that they don't have herpes, but if all of her ex-boyfriends have big, open sores on their mouths and people are passing around a needle at the first party she takes you to and she stops for a squirt in her arm, those are pretty good signs that maybe you shouldn't have rough, unprotected, anal sex with her. And, without the rough, unprotected, anal sex, what fun is all of it really? According to my ex-girlfriend, none.
Alright, I've rambled on long enough. The beer in my fridge is starting to think I don't love it anymore. Tonight I'll be drinking an Abita Restoration Ale. Not the best beer in the world, curiously tastes more like a lager than an ale, but some of the proceeds are donated to charities helping hurricane victims in the Gulf region of the US and I'll drink to that. Cheers!

T_W15

swingherswaphim 40M/37F

12/15/2005 10:20 pm

I can appreciate your existential approach to the world of the swinger unknown. Worry not I am not offering to suck your cock my long term chick does that for me. We haven't found the 18 yr old hot lesbian couple but if we do we'll tell them about a guy who's looking. (pretty sure your the only guy out there who is) Glad you are drinking for disaster relief, the only true form of charity left. We all need to do our part. Anyway man she and I were perusing the blogs and saw your lonely entry here and were entertained. Keep hope alive, and damnit I wish I knew the song that you plagiarized so I could go up a few notches in your respect but alas...


MAGirlLooking 36F
13 posts
1/12/2009 9:46 pm

Frank Zappa song it on his Joe's Garage Album back before I was born hehe actually not that long but back on November 19th, 1979.

It appears I am the only one who knows that answer... And you wrote this question a little over 3 years ago.


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