An age old question - still unanswered  

Tejinashi 45M
34 posts
8/18/2005 11:24 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

An age old question - still unanswered

So..... it's that time again for me.

Time when the Ex and I have been closer then we were in a long while.

Confusing as all f**k of a situation. Neither of us want to stand in the way of the other finding happiness, neither of us want to hurt the other person, neither of us can figure out if we are a couple or an open relationship or even 'fuck buddies' (which, is a concept I have always found generally doesn't work).

Like I said - confusing.

I doubt, but feel like it is, more confusing for the guy. Women generally in relationships seem to have a much better grasp on the emotional stuff then we dumb guys do. I try - but usually fail miserably.

So here's the questions (and they could be really long answers I imagine);
1) How do you tell, if at all possible to, where a realtionaship is going ?
2) How do you tell if a relationship is 'meant' to be ?
3) Why is it that sometimes breaking up makes you realize what being a couple is about ?
4) Why is it that only when you are trying to figure out a situation with one person, does another really sexy one come along that is just as appealing ?

Speaking of; there's this woman see....and she and I chat fairly regularly (couple times a week during breaks and lunches at the mall). She's BEAUTIFUL, intelligent, funny, and loves many of the same things I do (sci-fi, fantasy, anime etc).
Problem though - if I was to ask her about going for coffee or somthing similar, I risk what friendship might be there. I don't know if she's seeing someone, not looking, or even straight (which, is a valid question these days as I have learned....).

So I geuss the biggest query of this post would be;

Is it worth the risk ?


Am I simply overthinking the situation and caring too much about hurting the feelings of someone I really would like to get know but haven't yet ?

rm_letmenailu 50M
1 post
8/18/2005 1:00 pm

you ever heard of askin her? just say you are starting to have interesting thoughts and does she feel the same way if not then at least you know. if she cant be friends after that then what have you lost?

Tejinashi 45M

8/31/2005 7:09 pm

Well - finally did ask her if she was seeing anyone.

She is, but he is apparently insecure about himself not here (so it's fingers crossed time for me).

She and I (as far as I can tell) are still at least casual friends too.

In all honesty, asking her has releived some stress. I have an answer, she knows I'm interested and not a 'threat' to her being happy with this other guy (presumably), and we can still chat.

Thanks. Never thought I would take rejection and turn it into a better mood.



BbbiBabyGirl 46F

10/1/2005 10:14 am

Men are not the only ones that go thru this sort of thing. I have no answers to all boils down to a leap of faith. Is it would the risk...damn straight......better to have had the moments of happiness and lose then to never have had the experience in the 1st place. IT allows us a chance to get to know ourselves better and to expand and shape and tesst our character. If we survive the situation we are made stronger for it.
The fact that you have doubts is normal but it could also be a sign of what u really feel subconciously.
Anyhow, Tej I could also be full of shit. Alot of that is how I feel now, a week after my relastionship ended.

Hey guys, I'm single again!!

Best of LUCK my friend.

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