Drama in the groups  

TechSteve 49M
1222 posts
6/13/2006 8:49 am

Last Read:
6/26/2006 9:28 am

Drama in the groups

As many of us know there is more drama and phonyness in some of the groups than a Jerry Springer show.

There have been hoaxes such as fake illnesses and deaths, phony members with pics that look like they came from fashion magazines etc etc

The latest drama I notice is in a group I once participated in the past....more than a yr ago....the group now is not the same as the one I joined when it was beginning. The group changed into a popcorn group and that is one of the reasons I left.

One of the last things I did in that group was to react to a new member that I felt was disrespecting a woman in the group with his post. The moderator did absolutely nothing and within a month or two, the disrespecting guy was found out to be a troll....he caused them a lot of stress......LOL.....I still am very amused about that incident....maybe you should have listened to me haha

In the last few days, this moderator did something that destroyed his group...he surprised his group by letting in an old member that has bumped heads with many of the members.....it caused many members to leave and shut the doors behind them.

Now he "left" the group and passed on the group to somebody nobody knows anything about.

What do I mean by putting quotes on the word LEFT ?

This is a STUNT.....A HOAX....A GAME.

He is a narcissist.

You heard it here first.


UPDATE: The moderator came back to his group. As predicted by me, he is already starting with the speeches how everybody is out to get him, which is the expected behavior of a narcissist individual.


Steve


rm_verriberri 78F
1849 posts
6/15/2006 3:33 am

Honestly, I think he was probably trying to do the noble thing. I think that he was used to his group being extremely loyal to him, and may not have anticipated that people would leave. I was never a member of the group, but I feel bad for him and them. It was a vital group. It is difficult to keep a group together, especially when there is so much behind the scenes drama. I am withholding judgement as things are often not what they seem.

A good lesson that when you try to please everyone, or have everyone like you, that you often end up feeling like no one likes you... for me it is better to make the tough and unpopular calls early on. I hope he's ok... he's not a bad man. He must be very sad. -v


TechSteve 49M

6/15/2006 4:58 pm

    Quoting rm_verriberri:
    Honestly, I think he was probably trying to do the noble thing. I think that he was used to his group being extremely loyal to him, and may not have anticipated that people would leave. I was never a member of the group, but I feel bad for him and them. It was a vital group. It is difficult to keep a group together, especially when there is so much behind the scenes drama. I am withholding judgement as things are often not what they seem.

    A good lesson that when you try to please everyone, or have everyone like you, that you often end up feeling like no one likes you... for me it is better to make the tough and unpopular calls early on. I hope he's ok... he's not a bad man. He must be very sad. -v
I dont think he is that bad of a guy either.......some of the comments I have read are very nasty.

I always thought he was a drama queen. He especially will go out of his way to be liked by certain people.

This is the reason for all this bullshit....it was to impress a certain woman. This bullshit was all planned a while ago. But the reactions were not expected. You heard that here first because I dont see anybody coming up with that theory.

Thank you for visiting my blog Verri.......btw I suggested in your modpals blog a new member for your group....I dont know the guy but he will add some balance to your group. I would join your group but talking about american politics is something I did a long time ago and I am not into it anymore.


header1979 37M
507 posts
6/17/2006 3:57 pm

Hey Steve,

I am a member of the group that you are talking about (I think). The moderator who left the group is the founder of the group and has been on the website almost since about the time the website was created. As active as he has been on the website over the years, I find it hard to believe that he has left.

I don't know what went on behind the scenes. I try not get involved in drama. I got better things to do and don't have much time to waste getting involved in these things. All the flaming that you talk about, and the flaming that is going on in the group right now, have been deleted so I don't know who said what about whom.

I just like to respond to interesting posts or post something occasionally that might be of interest to the group. I have to post once a month, so the least that I do is say hello to a new person's introduction. When something is no longer enjoyable, I direct my time and energy elsewhere.

I will keep watching the group to see how it is going.


rm_JustAwhisper 48F
96 posts
6/23/2006 12:42 pm

Of course as many know I'm familiar with the group mentioned here.. even posting a thread in the magazine about it.. I ranted and raved and got it out of my system..

I think the group, at one time, was a great force on this Adult Friend Finders.. and now it is going the way others have.. the same members in several groups so it dissolves to the same mind set..

Who knows it may some day regain it's footing.. and I hope it does.. but it will only happen if the Moderator quits playing the leaving game.. in order to make himself feel the importance of returning.. How you treat the people who have faith in you says a lot about a person, on or off this site..He has a NEED to belong.. I have the feeling, due to his need to feel they *want* him, this will happen again.. given time.. As long as no one challenges him.. He'll *clique* along fine..

I do agree with Verri, and as far as narcissist word, I'm not real familiar with psychological terms so will look it up in time.. Who knows what makes people do what they do.. It's a good thing to study - I consider it a lesson learned.. time to let it float where all other things go in this cyber world.. showed me, you never really KNOW anyone on here.. YOU just THINK you do.. that is the danger..

When one door closes, another one opens for the better, as the saying goes.. and I live by this..


rm_JustAwhisper 48F
96 posts
6/23/2006 1:02 pm

Will add this.. the wonderful thing about this site is, there is not just one group.. there are many.. and many are headed up by strong moderators.. His group is drawing the kind of people he likes to be around.. and some very good ones.. but it isn't the end of the world not to belong to a certain group..

If you study them, you will see they draw like people.. and that is a good thing.. I can't say anything bad about him..

The key to belonging to groups is to find one that welcomes you and appreciates you for who and what you can add to the group..


TechSteve 49M

6/23/2006 2:41 pm

    Quoting rm_JustAwhisper:
    Will add this.. the wonderful thing about this site is, there is not just one group.. there are many.. and many are headed up by strong moderators.. His group is drawing the kind of people he likes to be around.. and some very good ones.. but it isn't the end of the world not to belong to a certain group..

    If you study them, you will see they draw like people.. and that is a good thing.. I can't say anything bad about him..

    The key to belonging to groups is to find one that welcomes you and appreciates you for who and what you can add to the group..
My opinion is that the blogs are better than the groups.

It is no wonder that AdultFriendFinder made sure this part of the site is working. The groups are still fucked up.

I feel as if I am a moderator in my blog and all the people that comment in here are temporary members. It keeps it interesting when you got a mix of people.

Steve


rm_JustAwhisper 48F
96 posts
6/24/2006 5:53 pm

Steve, I've been on A.F.F for a long time, and only just begun to take notice of the blogs.. Some were so long, it was hard to read..(time wise)..

It is the going thing ... on this site and other ways..


header1979 37M
507 posts
6/24/2006 6:41 pm

Hey Steve,

As you predicted, he is back as moderator of the group.


TechSteve 49M

6/25/2006 3:15 pm

    Quoting header1979:
    Hey Steve,

    As you predicted, he is back as moderator of the group.
Header actually whisper guessed it would happen too.

I read your latest post about the soldiers in Iraq and it was very interesting. I am going to drop by and leave a comment later.

Steve


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