Here....there....and gone again  

TammyDHU 45F
969 posts
12/9/2005 8:21 pm

Last Read:
2/26/2007 11:05 pm

Here....there....and gone again

Sometimes he's there.

A lot of times he's not.

Don't know if he cares whether I am a wild and roaming free spirit or not. I never dared to ask him.

But twelve years of this thing going on...long before it became commonly known as "friends with benefits"............he and I were going on.

To this day he sometimes shows up. Sometimes he does not.

Sometimes he calls and shows up immediately. Other times he gives me time to wash my hair, shave my legs, and drive to Omaha and back before he shows up.

At rare times he displays a bit of jealousy for my self-spoken freedom, and most of the time he does not.

He's the most headstrong man I've ever known. His attitude matches mine exactly these days because I have learned it from knowing him. I respect his responsibilities to raise his teenage daughter. Many have accused me of lying in wait and holding out for him. Many have gone further as to tell me I am a fool for doing this. I have no idea if I should beg to differ or not. So I say nothing.

Is it the man or the mystery that keeps me enthralled? I've absolutely no idea.

All I know is how he makes me feel when he IS here. And he is the ONLY man on earth who has ever made me feel like a REAL WOMAN..

Call me crazy. Call me insane. Don't mention the word love, I don't want to even go there....but the idea certainly isn't completely foreign to me.....

there you have the ramblings of a woman......waiting again on a Friday nite!!!!!!!!

ilsgicemru 72M
2822 posts
12/9/2005 8:52 pm

I have been there Tammy!!...I will be back to this later, when I get my thoughts together......Thanks for letting us know a little more about Tammy.

ilsgicemru 72M
2822 posts
12/10/2005 8:29 am

For myself, I have realised that God puts people in my life, to help me learn something about myself, and to grow, spiritually!!!!....The longer they are there in my life, the greater the "lesson" is, that I need to learn.

bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
12/11/2005 6:45 am

Hi Tammy -
Nice post.
A lot of guys, myself included, feel the need to have a sexual relationship that is not continuously joined at the hip. Its not that we don't care about the woman we are involved with; we often do. But I have always felt the need for a lot of alone time. I have my own life and I enjoy this life I've built. It was difficult to create my life and I jealously guard against it being melted into another's. I wish to share with and enjoy woman a great deal. But at the end of the day I enjoy the solitude and complete control of my own castle. Maybe that sounds selfish; it really isn't when you think it through. I share openly, I am warm to those in my life and care a great deal for them. I just enjoy my own space and crave it.


Love2LickIt40 52M

12/12/2005 10:33 am

Hi Tammy. All I can say is that I wish it were me you were waitng for on Friday nights...or any other day or night. LOL Thanks for sharing.

ParksLoverTared 38M
19 posts
12/14/2005 6:45 pm

Need some help?

randyblueeyes69 50M

12/16/2005 8:34 am

From across the pond .. love your honesty and a little jealous of your freedom ...

But your not mad or insane .. live the life you choose but remember you're responsible for the consequences


NodusGrogsOctad 50M
2 posts
12/18/2005 11:40 pm

Hi Tammy. A great deal of intimacy and compassion from your note.
Agree with bullseyetou in that I too enjoy my own space at times and this alone shouldn't be perceived as a negative thing. After a few months of your feeling neglected... I personally would want to know why and if it's something I'm doing or not doing. A good heart-to-heart between the both of you. Your expectations aren't being met based on what you've said.

I must say while there has to be a certain chemistry between my partner and me, I do appreciate a woman who takes the time and effort to take care of herself, to look sexy. It's a shame...irony really...that your needs aren't being fully met. But then maybe this situation, as bad as it appears from your initial note, may provide just the right amount of "risk" that obviously keeps you excited in some very key aspects of your life.

Amused that you carry 7 sticks of lipstick in your purse. lol Kind of envious to be honest. Definitely my kind of woman.

I wish you the best, my dear.

lovesyou3 69M
6 posts
12/22/2005 1:35 pm

tammy if he makes you feel that way and thats enough, then thats all you need. but at some point that may not be enough for you.

lovesyou3 69M
6 posts
12/22/2005 1:37 pm

twelve years is a long damn time for that

turq6969 70M
553 posts
12/31/2005 1:59 am

Ah, a reflection of my former relationship of 13 and one half years. For the last 3 years she told me I need to find a younger woman with greater stamina, but I hung in there, because I enjoyed her company.

Many times over the past 3 and one half years when we were together I felt like I was just occupying space in her home.

Gone was the thrill of going out and kicking our heels up ...

Too many family crisisee's with both of us ...

My going back to work after retirement didn't help either. But, she was jealous that I was retired and she had to work ...

Different days off put a crimp on our time together ...

Arranged time off together and our plans were often misrouted with, "I have to watch my granddaughter this weekend."

Hope your situation improves, so you're not out looking like me!

Peace and Love,

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