FUNNY FUCKING FRIDAY - In Praise of Older Women  

TTigerAtty 62M
3769 posts
12/1/2005 5:05 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

FUNNY FUCKING FRIDAY - In Praise of Older Women

* An older woman can wear any hat she chooses and nobody will laugh. A younger woman wearing the same hat will always look like a lampshade in a brothel.

* An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think, if you think at all.

* An older woman always carries a purse full of emergency supplies. Young women go hungry and bleed to death every time there's a natural disaster.

* An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him.

* An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of a herbal tea.

* The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men.

* An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

* Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes.

* An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover!

* Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an asshole if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. An older woman puts herself on a pedestal.

* An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know.

* Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey.

* An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She's using you.

* Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call.

* Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take out.

* An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas.

* Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know.

* Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease.

* Older women know what Kegel exercises are.

* An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might possibly fuck later.

* Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park.

* Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact.

* An older woman has lots of girlfriends and most of them will want to fuck you too.

* An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride.

* An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.

TTigerAtty
TIGERS, LLC
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PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
12/1/2005 6:02 pm

LOL... there's something to be said for maturity. But you forgot one:

An older woman won't demand you spend every Friday and Saturday with her because she probably already has plans that don't include you.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


TTigerAtty 62M

12/1/2005 8:40 pm

PrincessKarma - OMG! That really cuts deep! Us guys like to feel needed!


Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
12/1/2005 11:17 pm

Uhhh-oh - Let's see where I land on this list...

* An older woman can wear any hat she chooses and nobody will laugh. A younger woman wearing the same hat will always look like a lampshade in a brothel.

I'd still look like I'm wearing a lampshad in a brothel. Whew!

* An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think, if you think at all.

I resemble that remark. I still care what you're thinking - just not going to wake you up for that. I would wake you up in the middle of the night so we could pleasure each other - that you can count on!

* An older woman always carries a purse full of emergency supplies. Young women go hungry and bleed to death every time there's a natural disaster.

Nope - I'm ill prepared for an emergency - unless there's a critical need for lipstick, make-up store discount cards and hand lotion. Whew again!!!

* An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him.

Age doesn't matter on this one - that should be in all purses. Besides, one never knows when there is going to be a water balloon fight - it's good to be prepared.

* An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of a herbal tea.

LOL! I don't resemble that remark.

* The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men.

Libido getting stronger - I can relate to that! LOL! Every decade people tell me - don't worry sweetie - it will calm down as you age. Yeah right! Every sweet decade that passes my fire burns hotter!!!

* An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

I cannot wear bright red lipstick - yikes! But can wear many varations of red. LOL!

* Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes.

3" - 3 1/2" heels is the norm for me. Nothing sensible about that!!!

* An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover! (Careful about taking this one as fact… I’ve seen otherwise…

Not in a committed relationship, but sometimes have this momentary panic (phobia) of going there. Hmmmm... Not sure where that lands me.

* Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an asshole if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. An older woman puts herself on a pedestal.

There are many gentle ways to say you are an asshole - I will find one if need be. LOL!

* An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know.

Not sure where I would land on this one - but lean toward older... Yikes!

* Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey.

Have job - have dental plan...

* An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She's using you.

I never use.

* Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call.

I don't wait by the phone.

* Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take out.

I am no cook! LOL! Hopefully, my sweetheart enjoys cooking or at least eating out a lot. I'm a Round Table woman myself!

* An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas.

I'd introduce you to everybody - no reason not to brag!!!

* Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know.

I'm not phychic yet...

* Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease.

I'm a no underpaties type most of the time - but would put them on in order to do a strip tease for you!

* Older women know what Kegel exercises are.

I've known what that is I was very young. There must be some mistake on this generalization. LOL!

* An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might possibly fuck later.

McDonald's - it can be a good thing.

* Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park.

LOL! I resemble that remark...

* Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact.

I may wobble on this one a bit. LOL! Always fun to try to make it happen!!! I am an optimist!

* An older woman has lots of girlfriends and most of them will want to fuck you too.

That's probably true - but I will scratch my girlfriends eyes out if they try to do anything I find disagreeable. No telling what could happen to you. Kidding!!! I'm non-violent.

* An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride.

Cute -

* An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.

LOL! No years are stolen away - there's always good.

Okay - so I'll have to add this up and see how I rate. I'm a little worried... Yikes!


saddletrampsk 54F

12/2/2005 6:11 pm

older chicks rock big time


TTigerAtty 62M

12/2/2005 6:37 pm

saddletrampsk - I like ladies between the ages of 19 and 65. I stop dating them when they enter the nursing home!


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