A Time for honesty  

Synn74 42F
1142 posts
10/3/2005 12:07 pm
A Time for honesty

Within myself.....

Today starts a new begining for me
the day I realize that I am the only person who can truly change me..

It is the day I begin the long dreaded road of willpower self control and end of self procrastination in which I will slowly begin change my appearance and hopefully it will change my attitude

I hate myself the person I have become the woman who hides behind a computer screen chugging down cokes and hersey's only to get pissed off when I pass by a mirror or see a pretty shirt or cool pants not in my size.. I have done this to myself no one else has forced me to sit on my ass or eat just because I was bored..

or notice that I am not the person I was just 5 yrs ago because my appearance I have become a moody depressed person

my 5 yr old sees it..whether my husband admits to it or not I am not exactly the most attractive person to him anymore..

now I undertand that I may never regain the 124 lbs and 26' waist I was just 7 yrs ago
but I will regain enough of myself so that I will feel like a human again.. I want to feel beautiful
it has been 7 yrs since I can even admit to myself that I am an attractive individual

to all the gorgeous Big Beautiful Women out there who are happy with themselve's I applaud you.. but you see This is not who I am.. I struggle everyday to realize if I want my former shell to return..I have to work hard to become what it is that makes me feel human..and not just sit on my ass and wait for it..

To all my friends who have seen me on cam..thank you for never giving me the illusion that you were disturbed by my physical form eventhough I was..

I realize my profile says a little extra padding.. I lied..I'm human.. I wasn't ready to be any more annihilated than I do to myself..

today on 10/3/05
I vow to begin a gradual change to find the true me buried beneath the surface of a bigger depressed woman..
* I know looks aren't important maybe that is true for some but not when it comes to myself*

eventhough I will not list my weight or size
I will add a range in to which I am

today: size 16/20 range
goal for november a straight 16

*baby steps baby steps*

now to go buy stock in grape propel water and Nike...


photo shown is
The Fur Cloak (Helene Fourment) (1636-1639) Peter Paul Rubens

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Synn74 42F
1206 posts
10/12/2005 8:22 pm

Baby steps and with those steps I see progress in the for of 5 lbs since i started this particular post
it's a slow butpromising start!

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redmustang91 57M  
8599 posts
10/12/2005 12:14 pm

I wrote a blog about weight loss. I lost weight, but the trick is keeping it off. I suggest exercise as in walking and weight lifting to tone. Small portions, avoid bread and sweets. No desserts, no all you can eat places. Skip chips and snack food, drink water, avoid all fast food and non diet soda. Never finish anyone else's food and avoid salads with creamy or oil dressing as that has more calories than a burger and fries! Avoid fried food. Eat fresh fruit and veggies and small amounts of meat or cheese. Go for it and get healthy!

onelittlesecret 33M
1579 posts
10/4/2005 10:11 am

I've had a few people I care about a lot struggle with their weight. I'll say a little prayer for your success and happiness.

(Why the heck did God have to make chocolate so damn fattening!)

Synn74 42F
1206 posts
10/4/2005 8:33 am

ty Huntress ... knowing others struggle too is a comfort knowing it not easy..

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__Huntress__ 55M/57F

10/4/2005 5:10 am

I've been up and down this road more times than I can count ... I decided in February I'd had it and have since lost 35 pounds ... would love to lose about 10 more but I just love those carbs ... put a potato in front of an Irish girl and she's going to eat it ... !

Good luck to you ... take it slow ! I know the advice works the other way but I do weigh myself everyday ... it helps to determine if I can have one potato or two ... inevitably it's gonna be one ... but it's always nice to dream ... !

rm_Ory09 34M

10/4/2005 1:10 am

ca te dit voici AdultFriendFinder

Synn74 42F
1206 posts
10/3/2005 9:41 pm

hehe thanks meee ( think emmy )

I welcome you to the House of Syn...

Synn74 42F
1206 posts
10/3/2005 1:56 pm

ty TTT

I welcome you to the House of Syn...

tamethytension 54M
2320 posts
10/3/2005 12:48 pm

*baby steps baby steps*

that's all it takes ... that and the decision you made today.



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