|Blogs > SxyCrazyCool > ♥۞★ Quest for Love ★۞♥|
I'm still not sleeping and it's getting worse
I don't know what's wrong with me I get scared all the time.. The whole week it's not untill deeeep in the night that I finally am so tired that I can close my eyes..
That guy.. DDGGM's friend (SexGuy, who's got a Harley btw!) came over the other night..
I had lots of fun I'm glad every time he comes by because there's like a huge lack of men in my friends life (if you ask me). She says it's cuz she's Greek and it's just girls hanging out together.. I'd go insane with just all women hanging around me all the time!! So I was glad SexGuy came along.. we talked about sex for a long time, but then the room changed into a massage-parlor.. The SexGuy's had many motorcycle (and other) accidents and while we were talking he made a wrong move and he had to lie on the floor to make it better.. He asked my friend to put her heel on his (partially plastic) shoulder and press the muscles.. and before I know it I'm sitting on him, his back all slippery from the oil and I'm massaging his ass! *grin*.. it's not exactly all that I need to make up for the lack of men that I've been having lately, but better than nothing..
And it felt really good to help someone like that.. He was in an awefull lot of pain it was horrible to watch! This is a guy who grew up on the streets, he's seen the worst (been there done that) and he's no pussy. To know that and see him hurt like he did.. Hahahaha that made my ass go itchy ;p
Well anyways.. the night progressed and he's an excellent storyteller, so I was glued to his lips.. Until he started telling about his ghosts.. It was dreadfull. I have always been scared of spirits/ghosts/demons/stuff like that. I can't watch movies like Rosemary's Baby, The Excorsist, The Grudge or The Ring. I won't sleep for days. I'm afraid to walk to the bathroom in the dark in my own house. I know it's silly, but it's really fucked up as well.. I'm really very scared. And until that night it was all just only because of what I'd seen in movies, or hearsay or books, stuff like that.. And then comes the SexGuy, telling me-- oh gosh it was Horrible!
Years and years ago, he'd bought a house, an ancient Victorian House. He'd rented it out at first to a bunch of drugdealers, but then came the time he was getting married and he wanted to fix up the house to go live in it with his wife. So after the bad guys left he moved in there, a matress, a pillow, a toothbrush, a mug, a plate, one knife, one fork, one spoon.. Just him in there to fix everything up. The house was very old and needed lots of fixing up, so he'd probably be camping in there for months.. Then one night when-- fuck I can't even write about it and I'm getting scared again. And it's in the middle of the day GVD
Well.. everything that I've only seen in movies before or read in books.. Images of people floating through the hallway, walking through walls.. kitchen cabinets rattling, doors and windows shutting, scary sounds, voices in the dark.. The Lot!! F***CKKKKK!! At first I thought he was pulling my leg.. making a joke (cuz I'm known for making jokes like that as well) but by the time he was finished telling the story I got so scared that I burst out into tears, just like that! And from the way they reacted I could tell it wasnt a joke. My friend freaked out about me freaking out like that.. "You want Valium? You want Valium? Are you okay sXy?? You okay? Don't cry!!" lol and he was shocked as well.. He wasnt kidding. He's not a supersticious man, he never really believed in that stuff untill it started happening to him. Even now he doesnt know what to think.. It's so f*cked up. Up until he told me all this there was still sort of a chance for me just having a huge imagination and I could sometimes sort of laugh my fear away.. But after what he told me; it's all real. They've been haunting him for the past 20 years.. they even followed him after he sold the house they first appeared in.. He's just moved for the third time and they still follow him. How creepy is that?! Maybe my fear isnt necessary, cuz if I had ghosts, they'd have already showed themselves right? But knowing they still can, they might be out there, waiting to scare me to death I hate it.. and it keeps me up all night.. I read, o gosh I've already read so much since I got here.. I write, I watch episode after episode of Sex & The City.. I listen to my iPod.. I masturbate.. I try to call my friends in Holland (of course no one picks it up in the middle of the night).. I go outside (where it feels less scary than in the house) turn my music really loud and look up to the stars while I'm dancing in the dark.. At some point I'll get so tired that I can't keep my eyes open anymore.. and I doze off..
It's really annoying and I hate the fact that I can't seem to rationalize my fear ..nothing I say to myself makes it go away.. it's rediculous! I'm about ready to go and try taking sleeping pills..
3/29/2006 1:52 am
You sound like my little sis who's scared of everything...she doesn't have prob with sleeping though|
-Vaihtelu1969 to spice you up-
3/30/2006 6:11 pm
~*~ Vaithlehu- Usually I'm not scared of anything quickly at all! I'd jump off a bridge bungeejumping without flinching.. But don't put me anywhere near a haunted house (or sth like that) or cockroaches, or I'll scream my head off!|
~*~ TakethemoneyRUN- Yeah my friend suggested that I should try taking a glass of wine before I go to bed.. Haven't tried it yet, might help .. beer isn't really my thing though, so I don't have anything to be scared of there