Another day in Paradise..  

SxyCrazyCool 38F
633 posts
6/8/2006 9:20 am

Last Read:
7/16/2006 2:41 pm

Another day in Paradise..

Another post inspired by humboldthonni's blog humboldthonni

I was just out in the garden watering the plants.. The weather is lovely today. The sun is warm and the little bugs are busy flying around the garden..

It's paradise..

This is the place I've always pictured myself raising my children.. (If I'm ever to have any)
So many memories.. I had a fierce discussion about this with my girlfriends the other day. They are glad the house is going to be up for sale, forcing me to move on and leave this place. They hate me being tied to my parents so closely.. They feel it's slowing down my growth and with holding me to flower like the plants in my mom's garden..
I don't really know what to think..
I know they're right in some ways.. But this place.. I think maybe one could never understand the love for it if you haven't grown up in it yourself..
The garden is huge.. there's several terraces.. pergola's.. a little garden house, a basketball field.. all seemlessly bordering the forest.. The beautiful green, peacefull, tall forest..

I've seen many beautiful nature scenes.. I've been places, saw things.. beauty that touched me so deeply it made me cry.. The world is such an amazing wonderful place! And yet there is no place in the world that I love so much as this garden..
Every time I walk through now, apart from the love, I feel the melancholy..
And some bitterness as well.. If I'd have made myself a glorious carreer.. if I'd have not dropped out of every education I ever started, I'd have been able to buy this place off of them. I'd have been able to see my children play in the woods.. hide and seek, building tree-huts, playing elf..

Probably you're gonna think I'm being daft and that my friends are right.. that it's time for me to move on and give my children a chance to make their own memories, not relive mine - as my friends put it.

Life goes the way it goes.. and time will tell how the future will unfold.. meanwhile I'm being deeply sad about having to leave this place behind..
A feeling I can cherish as well, because it's quite rare for me to get attached to people or places.. Or at least, eventually I can.. care deeply.. get attached (in a way).. But usually it doesn't do much to me loosing something or someone. I move on and don't look back. Everything always changes, nothing stays the same and nothing lasts forever. Accepting that made it easier for me in the past to let go of things I held dear..

I wonder how I'll cope this time though..

SleekIcilyVarix 41M

6/8/2006 1:36 pm

It sounds beautiful there...grab a camera and take a ton of pictures of it...that way when you're longing for the house, the garden, the surrounding beauty, you can open up an album and go there whenever you feel the need. It's not the same but...just a thought. There's nothing daft about your feelings about moving away from a place that's been so important to you.

rm_Marcello199 52M

6/8/2006 2:49 pm

What you actually can do is.... to remember the place and give it a place in your memory and in your heart.

What helps is to give yourself a reachable goal and make the first steps towards your new goal. Focus on that particular goal and don't rush towards it, but enjoy each and every moment of the journey.


Hugs and kisses...

smoothnjuicy4u 50F

6/10/2006 9:17 am

Somehow someway you'll get through. I feel the sameway everytime I leave from a visit with my parents, they have a beautiful house on a lake with a pool and garden I can just sit out there for hours just taking it all in, its my go to place in my mind when I am stressed but I manage to get it over somehow. You will too. Best of Luck hun

marywannado 43F

6/12/2006 10:49 am

Everthing always changes, nothing stays the same, and nothing lasts forever... you hit that nail right on the head...

but I wish that it would...

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