Am I in denial or what?  

SxyCrazyCool 38F
633 posts
4/5/2006 9:37 pm

Last Read:
4/21/2006 11:58 pm

Am I in denial or what?

He's just not that into you...

I was reading frangi's blog about Mr Good Kisser and the horrible txt messages.. and I got to think about this one episode of Sex & the City where Berger spoke out the liberating phrase: "He's just not that into you.."
One of the writers of SATC even wrote a book about it.

My BigTitted Friend here's got it and I started reading it, but I couldnt go longer than 12 pages orso (because I hated it).. then whoa whoa coincidence a week later I see the episode of Oprah where the writer of that book is invited to the studio to talk about He's just not that into you.. I couldnt watch that either..

Basically what the guy says is that it's very easy to read men. If they don't call us when they said they would, if they don't want to come up for another drink, if they don't reply our voice-mails/txt messages, if they tell us 'sorry, but..' (I'm so busy at work right now-got a big promotion/My dad's in the hospital and we don't know if he'll make it/I just got out of this longterm relationship and I need time to recover/blah blah blah etc etc etc), or if we are the ones making up excuses for him.. then sorry to say but "He's just not that into you.." ..
If a man wants to go out with a woman he'll ask her. No matter the circumstances. If he wants her he's sure to let her know that, even if his dad's in the hospital, if his fish just died, if his g/f just ran away with his best friend (blah blah blah).. he'll ask us out.

And I know that maybe for a lot of cases this might be the truth.. but these people are preaching their believes as if they are sure for a fact that all of the men alive will act in this way. And I resent that. Because I know for a fact that some men DO get insecure, they don't always know how to behave or what to say (no not just the ugly ones- goodlooking guys have this problem as well).. and yes they even get scared sometimes to ask a girl out on a date.. At least, my friends do.. I'm just wondering.. have I got really screwed up friends, or are my suspicions correct if I think that sometimes, when a man doesnt call (back), it might be because he is hoping that we'll call him?

One of the reasons that more and more I think I'm right is because of My BigTitted Friend. She has a very dominating personality. She's out there, so to speak. Loud voice, big mouth, not afraid to speak her mind. If you do something she doesnt like she'll be sure to make that very clear to you. She's in this 'thing' with this guy. A man. He's in his early 40's, very successful, Very Handsome, Very Wealthy, very well-mannered, Very Straight (not just in they gay/straight sense) and very friendly. An Oldfashioned Gentleman; The perfect guy, one could say. I'll call him The Limo-Guy.
This 'thing's been going on for about 2 years now. At first they were actually seeing eachother (boyfriend/girlfriend), but he ended it. The reason he ended it is because he wanted My Friend to have the chance to make a family. He's already got kids, been divorced, etc.. My friend is 32, she's still got the chance to get married, have kids, settle down.. So he sort of decided for her that they couldnt be together because he doesnt want to have any more children. The thing is that my friend is certain that she does not want to have kids. It's not that she hates them, but she just can't stand to be around them for longer than a day (I've seen it with my own eyes). And she's not very good with them either, the way she handles her nephews makes my toes curl! Kids is definately a NO-go for her. She's basically too selfish (her own words) to ever be a fulltime mother. So the Limo-guy made her choice for her and ended their relationship. (She was very pissed off)
They had occasional contact during the past year (he'd call once in a blue moon), but it never lead to anything and because she was pissed off at him she wasnt very open to conversation either.

Then last Saturday we go to the Greek club.. and guess who she bumps into? (After not having seen him in 18 months) Yay!! It was the Limo-Guy I got to meet the Limo-Guy
They spent the greater part of the evening talking with eachother.. He gave her a zillion compliments about her personality and her looks, nibbled her ear and when they were not talking together he kept scanning the room to see where she was and what she was doing.. And outside of the club he kissed her..
The next couple of days she couldnt get him out of her head, but she didnt wanna be the one to call him. She asked Sex-Guy and he also said not to call.. I knew that the Limo-Guy was into her, I knew it from the way he looked at her, smiled at her, scanned the room for her.. and I said: He'll call. She was sure as hell that he wouldnt. I told her to wait until monday, if he hadnt called by then, she could call him (with me as her great excuse-can't xplain, but it would be perfect).
Yesterday he called. And she spoke her mind about everything..
He did not ask her out.
Now- Is he just not that into her? Or could he be intimidated by her bitchiness??

*grin*.. I know there's men that like their women to be a bitch, a kitten with dangerous claws.. they like a good challenge. My friend is one of those women. Uber-bitch with the charms and the looks of a cute little princess..
Are there men who can be intimidated by that? And I'm not talking about the pussies, weak men with no back-bones.. they'll be intimidated for sure. But Limo-Guy is not a weak man. Still I wonder if her bitchiness is holding him back..?

rm_agentcdog 37M

4/5/2006 10:09 pm

Guy seems to brush you off once... maybe it's an off day.
Guy brushes off more than once in a row EVER.. just not that into you.

That's my take.

calis1978 38M
65 posts
4/6/2006 2:14 am

I always try my best to call/txt back even because it's simply the polite thing to do. At this point i just want to meet people and get to know them. I don't know how far "into her" i am after a first date, for me that first date is just the first step to getting to know her.

I do think Limo-guy is put off by her bitchiness, why wouldn't he??
Why would a gentleman stay in the company of a really selfish bitch? (that generally is how you describe your friend) I'm sure a handsome, wealthy friendly guy can find other company that's just as good looking and friendlier. If he complimented her about her character that night i think her reaction on the phone made him think about her character again and come to a different conclusion.

Are you sure him wanting her to be able to have a normal family with kids is the (only) reason he broke up with her? If they've een going out for 2 years, he must've seen how she is with kids. Didn't he know she doesn't want to have kids?

SxyCrazyCool 38F

4/21/2006 11:58 pm

~*~ Agenttcdog- But what if he's got an excuse? I've been brushed off more than once by some guys, but after that they still kept coming back..

~*~ Calis- She's not a really selfish bitch. She just shows her selfishness more than other people show theirs. And she's got a big bitchy mouth every now and then, but she's got a tiny little heart.. All she actually wants, like ever girl, is to be loved and held and cuddled.. someone to protect her and be sweet and nice to her..
Anyway, he's been calling her a couple of times the past 2 weeks, so I think maybe he might be interested in her again after all.. a little bit anyways.. We're going on a Limo-Drive on the Great Ocean Road for my birthday!!!


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