Married Life  

Sweetpickles69 47F
4147 posts
7/31/2006 8:21 am

Last Read:
7/31/2006 8:45 pm

Married Life

I need to write about my marriage. The picture I posted with this blog is how I felt in my marriage, after just 6 months. I was so miserable after the first 6 months of marriage I tried to OD. I felt trapped, and thought it would be the only, and easiest way out.
We started off fast. I met him on my 29th birthday, and he moved in with me 3 days later. We got married 10 months later. He just said all the things I wanted to hear at the time, plus I was looking at being age 30 and not married. He made me feel like he loved me just as I was. He just knew how to play me. It had been 3 years since my last relationship, and that guy had really done a number on me. He was 12 years older than me, but he looked and acted like he was younger. He had just gotten out of prison 6 weeks prior to meeting me, so when we first got together we fucked alot. It was 3 times a day for the first 6 months. His angry, controling side didn't come out until after we were married for awhile.

Our marriage was a real roller coaster ride. I felt trapped most of the time. Like I had made my choice and I had to live with it. I was raised in a christian home, and was taught to try everything to stay married. I wanted what my parents had. 2 and a half years after trying to OD, I finally left him, for the first time. I ended up leaving him 3 times before it was all over.

The first time I left, I did it while he was in jail for driving on a suspended license. My parents helped me get an apartment. I was scared of him . He had thrown knives at me, hit me in the back of the head with a 2-liter pop bottle, and threated my life at this point. I thought I was free, because he didn't know where I was, but one of our mutual friends found me, and told him were I moved to 2 weeks later. He showed up on the doorstep of my new apartment, about 10:30 at night, bawling. He begged me to take him back, and stupid me I did.

Three years later, I left him again. In about the same way. I took him back again. We stayed together for another year and a half. Our last fight he tried to hit me with a "cop" style flashlight. Two months before that he broke my cell phone. I had went shopping with my mom, and we were a 1/2 hour later than we said we'd be. He got pissed, and when I got home, he threw my phone and it busted into a million pieces.

He had broke alot of things in the last few months. One fight we had, I had run into the bathroom and closed the door. He got pissed and thought I had locked the door, so he put his fist through the door twice. He always tried to hit things, and not me. He had threated my life alot too. He had me so torn down at this time, I thought no one else would want me. I had given up on everything. I had let myself go. I didn't put on makeup anymore, I was up to 404 pounds, and I felt like I didn't have anyone to impress anymore.

After the cell phone incident, my mom told me she'd help me get out. So, when we had our last fight, when he tried to hit me with the flashlight, I called her. Luckily, it was on a sunday and my dad was off work. My brother-in-law was in town too. So, they came over with dad's truck and moved me out in a couple of hours. It couldn't have been any better if we had planned it. This was the LAST time I left him.

Now, we're divorced and we've been separated for over a year and a half. My friends were so happy to see me get out of that. They say the "old" fun, Michelle is back. The one that was there when I first met him. It's like "she" was hiding for 8 years, under his control and negativity. I started taking care of my appearance again, and lost about 60-70 pounds. I tried to stay friends with him, knowing the friends we did have were mine. I'm friends with alot of my ex's. He didn't have a vehicle, cuz he had wrecked our van 7 months before I left. So, I took pity on him and would take him to the store and to do his laundry.

Finally, I had to cut him off totally cuz he was trying to control me again, and he would mistake my friendship as a chance we might get back together. It's been over a month now since I last talked to him. It's a great relief to finally be free of him.


rm_DarknStar 54F
2823 posts
7/31/2006 11:30 am

Aww pickles, Im glad you got away from him!.......NO woman needs to live like that!. I hate MEN like that...BUT understand kinda of what you went through. Seems I always fall for the smooth talker and get sucked IN!

timberwolf6972 44M

7/31/2006 5:02 pm

But Pickles you look so cute in a cage! Actually I'm just joking, I don't go for that control shit. No pussy has ever controlled me and hopefully none ever will. I have no tolerance for shit like that. I do what I want, when I want to do it and with whom I want to do it with. There are chics that have tried to break me and control me but all have failed, some have come pretty close but still failed. {=}

marywannado 43F

7/31/2006 6:15 pm

WOW lucky ya got outta there, geez...

strongelk2006 53M

7/31/2006 7:41 pm

I was that person you was married to 13 years ago,,,but now after 10 years of working on bettering myself I'm a person that you can love without the anger. People do change ,,,if they want to, I did ,,and I like who I am now.

Peace,,,,,,,,,,,,coolness............Lov ya N.B.


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