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Reasons to stay single
Reasons to stay single
Ok so maybe I had one too many (see previous blog) but i'm feeling giddy and all of a sudden being single ain't so bad. So I tried to come up with the top 20 reasons to stay single but I could only go up to 17. Blame Heineken! Oh and feel free to complete the list:
Top 17 reasons why I enjoy being single:
1.Singing loudly and dancing silly: on days when I’m feeling particularly giddy or flirty I put on my cutest set on underwear (lime green and blue boy-briefs will the word “HOTTIE” printed on my ass and the matching bra) and dance around my room on silly love songs (think “Surrender” by Laura Pausini) and sing loudly (heck, my neighbors can hear me). How can I continue doing that in front of a guy who thinks of me as the reincarnation of grace, poise and charm?
2.Snoring: Ok I admit it, I snore. Not a train-wreck loud kind of snore but more of a soft cat-like purr. Anyway, it is enough to make me suffer from insomnia whenever I’m sharing my bed with someone.
3.In the same line as #2. Having a queen-size bed all to myself: pretty self-explanatory.
4.Being the Queen of my domain: no compromising, doing whatever, whenever, wherever, whoever I want! Plus I like being self-fish and not being accountable for anyone else’s happiness.
5.Ugly days: You know those days where you can't bother to shower, shave, dress, comb your hair or wear make-up.
6.Shopping: Not having anyone frowning at me as I once again blow my budget. I hate when a guy tells me that I have a similar pair of shoes, sweater, pants, skirt or whatever. The operative word is “similar” as in “not the same” dude!
7.Loving myself: Ok sex with someone can be a lot of fun, but orgasm at my fingertips is ALWAYS guaranteed, after all, who knows what I like better than myself?
8.In the same line as #7: keeping my toys!
9.Flirting without guilt: again, this one is pretty self-explanatory.
10.Opening my own jar: not having to pretend that I can’t open the jar just to boost his self-esteem and then just stand there as he struggles to open it, thinking “I so would have open this thing a looooooong time ago!”
11.Forgetting important dates: birthdays, Valentine’s day, his mother’s birthday, his dog’s birthday, the first day we met anniversary, the first time we kissed anniversary, the first time we held hand at a traffic light anniversary…
12.Not hearing “when are you guys gonna settle…move in together…get engaged…get married, etc” from other people as if life as a couple was total bliss!
13.Not being called or calling anyone with silly pet names: Pooh-bear, Chicky-pooh, Pumpkin, Boo, Muffin, Big Momma (I really hate that one!)
14.Frozen dinners and double chocolate cheesecake, all for myself!!!
15.Surf the net as long as I want.
16.Being in control of my remote control
17.PMSing, bitching, crying, gossiping, staying on the phone forever, or whatever other things women do that annoy men.
8/17/2005 9:25 pm
SOUNDS GOOD....how about going where and when with who you want to?|
8/17/2005 9:26 pm
Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.|
8/17/2005 11:18 pm
Damn, that was so convincing I want to be a single woman - NOT! Very cute nonetheless.|
8/18/2005 12:59 am
The good news is that with a little bit of properly frank conversation all these issues can easily get integrated into your coupled or married life.|
The lid thing made me fall out of my chair laughing...