Love and sex...I need some answers  

SuzieQ4U60 61F
283 posts
7/18/2006 11:29 am

Last Read:
8/9/2006 7:25 pm

Love and sex...I need some answers

Is it just me, or is it women or does it just depend on the person........... how many of us confuse love and sex?? I was always told women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex. And you know, it holds very true. Sometimes when I have been involved with someone, I desire them sexually. And the more I care for them, the more I desire them sexually. Almost a lust, for me. When I am in love, I want to touch you and caress you... hold your hand, kiss you, be close to you. And I want and need that in return. You'd think at my age, I'd get a clue and know what its all about. My mom seemed to, and so did my grandmother. But me, its just taking me forever.... I am still a student of life. Still learning. Or maybe its me still growing up. Still young and immature even after all these years.

buddhamike 105M
7006 posts
7/18/2006 12:32 pm

The gender differences you describe for how people view the relationship between love and sex are accurate. I don't think they change with passing time, it's just that after enough years (typically around menopause) many women are no longer as interested in sex, and more men are no longer willing to pay the price necessery to get their wives to give in. These are sweeping generalizations and especially in the world as it is today many people do not conform to this standard. Where once there was a joke abut women's sex drive..."how do you make a woman stop wanting sex?...Marry her!!"... Now the same can often be said of men!

2daycowboywanted 45F

7/18/2006 12:38 pm

There is a massive difference between sex and love. Sex can be found anywhere at any time. Love is harder to find. This site is for sex not for love.

Until later

tantraHands 60M

7/18/2006 12:39 pm

I won't claim to speak for all men, but at least for me, the physical connection feeds the emotional connection.

fortunaswm 61M/52F

7/18/2006 1:46 pm

You would think I would learn too SQ. This is why I mentioned to my latest lady friend I prefered to get to know her - then see what happens. But, it didn't work - sex always seems to wiggle it's way in. And it never seems to take long.

I'm still looking.

SuzieQ4U60 61F

7/18/2006 5:02 pm

Fort...I spose we set out with the best of intentions.....and then the hormones take over. Its life I guess. You either have more than sex or ya dont.....even if sex has occurred. Maybe someone somewhere should invent a drug to inhibit sex until you are sure you care for someone...and then stop taking it and let sex occur a little later in the relationship. Its the attraction to the person, which leads to hand holding and kissing which leads, ultimately, to sex. I want long term with good sex and I know its out there. I just know it.

foghorn49 59M

7/19/2006 6:28 am

Sharing is all about giving to someone. If I share a meal with you then I am giving my time to be with you. Unfortunately in this world more want to take then give. The simple act of giving is sometimes hard to find. It has nothing to do with whether we are worthy of receiving though. It’s more of the right person at the right time. Passion is something you obviously have lots of. Well worthy of sharing. It might not be a meal or a hot night of sex but I can share 10 minutes of my time to respond to your blog.

Its bad that your friend has put you on the spot. We all have are disappointments in life. We deal and move on. I am not trying to be mean or anything, but you won’t hear any sorry or pity from me. I have had to deal with my own sorrows and disappointments. I will tell you what I see by your writings. A passionate, funny woman with more love to give than most. You have all the assets that you need in life. Once you understand that you do not need anyone else to complete your life you will find the peace and love you want? Think about it. Also if your friend wants more than friendship….. why not consider it !!!! You have already stated the difference between love and sex. Here at this site most of us are after both but understand that they don’t have to come together. An we can enjoy one without the other. You only live once and remember.

We grow with each new experience

foghorn49 59M

7/19/2006 8:00 am

This was suppose to go on your post Sweetness..... Hey! I'm new and make mistakes Hopefully it won't happen again.

SuzieQ4U60 61F

7/19/2006 8:25 am

Fog, its ok...... not to worry. And about my friend, well what makes you think I haven't tried it and decided against it??

Theres a reason for everything.... it wasn't meant to be for her and me. She is too possessive and I have been trying to have just a friendship with her for a while and its not something she wants to accept.

SuzieQ4U60 61F

7/19/2006 9:35 pm

No Skye, you didnt miss the point...........thats exactly what i was saying. The more I love someone, the more I want to be with them sexually. The more I want to love them and share my whole self with them. Sex is just that, sex. But making love is something entirely different. As was previously stated in a comment on this post, you can get sex just about anywhere, but finding love is not a common thing. And once you find it, you have to work at keeping it pure and whole and good. But thats the fun part. Doing little things for someone, or big things. Whatever it calls for at that precise moment.

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