Trigger Lies  

SunneyOne 43F
2146 posts
10/14/2005 1:13 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Trigger Lies

We all have... okay... wait, I will only implicate myself here, and the rest of you can fess up as you see fit. Let me start again.

I have what I call "trigger lies". While I am a painfully honest person for the most part, I have a few lies that are so automatic, that they are just like someone pulling a trigger. In the interest of being open and honest, though, I'm going to share them with you.

1. "No, I was awake." Someone calls me either early in the morning, late Saturday afternoon during nap time, late at night, whatever. I sound discombobulated and groggy. They ask, "Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" Trigger. My automatic response is to say I was awake, even when it is painfully clear I was sleeping. Why? I don't want them to feel bad for waking me up. Why can't I just say I was asleep but it is okay? I don't know. It just pops out. So, from now on, I'm gonna say when you wake me up.

2. "Fine, thanks. You?" I can't believe I'm the only one guilty of this. "Hey Jodi! How are you doing?" Trigger. Automatic response is an enthusiastic "Fine!" Horseshit. I realized this when I ran into a friend at the pharmacy yesterday. I was standing at the pharmacy counter getting medicine. Duh. Clearly not "fine". Not to mention that I am still sick as a dog and have virtually no voice, so basket laden down with juice, cough drops, Tylenol and prescription, I turn to said acquaintance and croak out, "Fine thanks!" Total horseshit. But what am I supposed to say - "Actually, I'm sick as hell and a walking germ cloud. You should get back! But it is great to see you!"

3. "Nothing." This is so girl that I'm ashamed to admit it. "What's wrong?" Trigger. Automatic response when I haven't got my thoughts or emotions under control, "Nothing." Once again, horseshit. Generally this is a very easy one to see through due to my uncharacteristic silence and the tell tale sniffling. I am getting better at this one though. If I do let off with the trigger lie, I'm usually pretty quick to follow it up with the actual truth. I don't stew on things, so it comes out. I just have to work up to it. Plus, I'm a cry-er (how in hell do you spell that?), so I have to wait till I can get it out without whimpering.

4. Last but not least, and certainly the most predominant lately... "I FEEL fine, I just sound bad." I wish you could see me rolling my eyes with this one. When does anyone with no voice feel fine? Especially someone that has trouble ever shutting up. Even if I weren't sick, I would be miserable just for the lack of talk time. However, let it be known, I'm sick. I feel like hell. I do have moments when it isn't so bad, when I'm just okay. However. It is currently 4am and I am wide awake and coughing. That sucks. I do believe portions of my right lung have vacated my chest, and I've gone through a half a box of Kleenex since 7pm last night. I have a rocking bad headache, my jaw hurts for some ungodly reason, I'm sweating, can't sleep and am getting increasingly grouchy about it. What I really want is someone to feel abundantly sorry for me, to pamper the hell out of me and tell me that I'm still quite lovely pale with a runny nose and messed up hair, to play with my hair and rub my back. However... I feel fine. *laugh* The good news is, I get more medicine in 2 hours. Fantastic.

So there. I've come clean with my trigger lies. For those of you who I've trigger lied to, I apologize. I can think of one who I've done it to every day for the last week (head hanging in shame). Thank you for caring enough to keep asking, even when you know I'm full of crap.

So what now? Do I do some sort of penance? Punishment? Or how 'bout you all just confess your trigger lies?

CuntSlurpa 45M
131 posts
10/14/2005 6:49 am


I would have to share trigger lies 1 and 2. Occasionally lie 3.

I also have a couple of other trigger lies - mostly intended to make other people (usually my wife) happier, but generally make me feel worse.

A) In response to a plea of "I have a headache / backache / pain in my little toe / just don't feel like it" when I try to persuade my wife that a little physical intimacy might be nice. "That's O.K. Perhaps when you're feeling better." Of course, that time never comes (or hasn't in several months) which is frustrating to say the least. I know this sounds bad, and in many ways it is, but after several years of the same thing part of me wants to scream "Well can't you at least give me a hand job or something more than twice a year?"

"That's fine, I'll do it". Again, most frequently used with my wife, but also with many others (and I'm sure they use it with me at times too). This generally applies to some task that they want done immediately (which I would often not have done at that time, and possibly not at all). Of course, the problem is that spending so much time doing all the things *they* want done leaves many of the things that I want to or should do incomplete.

(Juan S)
2642 posts
10/14/2005 7:27 am

LOL...So now we have a name for this syndrome...HA!

I still do number 1...most of the time, every now and then I'll croak it..its cool, go ahead..
number 2...actually most of the time, I'll say what's on my mind and sometimes just say fine...Those are the times that I am sick of complaining...
#3... Oooohh, I hate it when women do this? I am asking, because I am concerned, when you tell me nothing and I know it is obviously something, then I'm left with the daunting and confusing task of trying to figure out if you just want me to be quiet and comfort you, gently prod a little more till you open up or leave you alone for a few, while you get some space...Ugh... shouuld be outlawed, cuz inevitably a guy is going to make the WRONG choice for the moment and then you're going to be mad at him...LOL. Sunney...STOP this immediately...LOL. Be a beacon of light for other women...LOL.

SunneyOne 43F

10/14/2005 10:12 am

LMAO... Yes, Sir, Sizz!! Please note that I said I usually follow it up with the truth. As I am a very emotional woman, I am aware of that and also aware of how most men hate tears. So I try to keep that under control. Sometimes, I know I can't get out what's wrong without tears, so I try to get that under control first. And sometimes, what is actually wrong sounds so ridiculous even to me that I have to weigh what to share.

AltumHunksUnite 53M

10/14/2005 12:09 pm

Sometimes when I'm fixing a computer and I know for a fact the user is lying to me about his/her part in the creation of the problem, instead of arguing, I'll say something like "Well, let's take a look and see if we can figure it out." Another one I use in that situation is "Well, it's just one of those things."

Let me drive. I like the view

rm_CENSO 42M
18 posts
10/14/2005 12:37 pm

Haha, those are great. I often wonder the same thing too Do I really want to get into why I'm NOT having a good day with this guy? .... Nah "I'm doing fine Bob"

My fav are the ones who, just the opposite is true ... they are the ones who ask the question, but don't really care what the response is. In fact, here's how a typical phone call they make sounds like:

"Oh hey Jackie, how u doin, listen the reason I'm calling is ..."

Like duh! Why even ask to begin with? Why should that be a part of your opening line when making a call if you're not even going to give the other person the courtesy of responding to your question? Duh!

So I wonder, which is the more inconsiderate one ... the one who asks and doesn't give a fu*k what the answer is, or the one who asks, and still doesn't give a fu*k what the answer is, ... but doesn't allow you the opportunity to entertain the foolishness of answering an apparent rherorical question. Hmmmm ...


hereforyou6217 43M
912 posts
10/14/2005 2:44 pm

Oh, Sizz. If it weren't for the fact that most men are just as guilty of #3 as women are (albeit for different reasons), I might be able to take your comment seriously. Heh.

I usually use #3 because I don't want to bother people with the whole stupid long story of what's bugging me. Also, explaining means I have to relive it. So to me, "nothing" means I'd rather work the whole thing out in my head. I guess.

digdug41 49M

10/14/2005 5:44 pm

I am guilty of #1and wifey says #3 so much I never know when to believe her good post sunney

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

SunneyOne 43F

10/14/2005 7:14 pm

lmao... Nice Cleavis and Censo... I'm so with you on those.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
10/14/2005 7:23 pm

Hi Sunney,
"Nothing" is also the trigger lie for any guy when you ask him what he is thinking about. Then again, it may not be.

CaboWaboVHnut 56M
637 posts
10/14/2005 10:08 pm

Guilty as charged Sunney One !!! I'm constantly using "fine, how are you". One reason most of us use that one, I think, is because we don't think people really want to hear our ailments, also, you know who I'm talking about, the ones you don't even want to ask because you already know they'll go into a 30 minute rundown of all their problems !!!

The crying issue,{crier is correct I believe, well, you asked !}, you say men don't like tears. Not necessarily true ! I know some men don't, but some of us feel more useful & helpful, if you are comfortable enough with us, to be able to comfort you, and try to make you feel better. It makes us feel like "Manly Men" !!!

I have a better understanding about crying than most men. I'm not bragging, I know from experience !!! In 1990, we found out that I have a pituitary tumor. The pituitary gland control's the body's hormone level. Women have a very high level of prolactin, men don't. My prolactin level should have been around 100 or so, but it was like 10,000 I think !!! I would cry at the drop of a hat !!! I'm glad the tumor is under control with medication, but sometimes, I wish I could have the emotional release of a good cry !!! It can make you feel extremely better !!! The downside, is when you cry uncontrollably, even being to the point where you know, if you try to say one word, you'll break into tears !!! That's frustrating !!! Well Sunney, I've rambled long enough. Hope you feel better soon !!! Your old TN ray of sunshine, Cabo !!!

softnlush 53F

10/15/2005 12:05 am

if I say fine ..with a slight twinge in my voice..I am anything but LOL..I think everyone is guilty of triggers are basically the same as yours.."did I wake you"--sleepy voice,yawnin..."nah I was just resting my eyes I am up..what is up with you"...someone calls me 3 or 4 times..I am busy..I finally pick up the phone after their 5th call.."are ya busy"..noooo I did not realize my phone was off..whats shakin..LOL..or the best.."can you do me a favor"..growling inside..sure I will do my best,what is it..LOL..then I have to BS my way out of it..honestly how funny would it be if you just said..YEA its saturday 830am..of course you woke me asshole...or the constant caller..YEA I was getting that OK with you? me a favor..what have you done for me lately..but we can't...or can we hehe?

LovableEclectic 59F

10/16/2005 12:56 am

I KNEW it! When you said to me "I feel fine, I just sound bad." Matter of fact I believe I called you on it! Oh Sunney, *muahs*
I do hope you feel better very soon.

SirMounts 102M

10/19/2005 5:06 am

Actually, I feel that there is a deeper reason why most, if not all of us, do tell such "white lies", from time to time. First, most of us feel that we must be polite, as so do not wish to burdon others with our probems. And second, portraying oneself to be feeling, "OK", when one is not, can result in a sort of, shall we say?... test, of the other individual. On the one hand, to see if the other is perceptive enough to see when there is an obvious contradiction. And, on the other, to find out if the person really cares enough to follow up, and call into question what was said. That is why doing so is so common, and I feel always will be.

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