Familiarity  

SunneyOne 43F
2146 posts
11/22/2005 8:17 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Familiarity


Why is it so easy to go back to an old love? To hang out with old friends? To spend holidays with your family?

Familiarity. Things that we are familiar with are comfortable. They are safe, known, warm. There is a certain amount of sureness in them that makes them even closer.

Most people I know have one or two people who they have dated who they come back to in some way or another over and over again. Maybe they just run into each other. Maybe they meet for lunch. Maybe it’s sex. Maybe they try to date again. The point being that it is familiar, and there is something both comforting and sexy in that.

For the most part, when something is over for me, it’s over. I don’t go back. But there is one… one person who I find myself thinking about now and then. Wondering where he is, what he is doing, what he’s like now. We dated 10 years ago for the first time. We’ve run into each other a few times since then. But even when we haven’t physically seen each other, I have found myself thinking of him now and then. It seemed that the timing was never right before.

But what would happen if the timing was right? What would happen if we were to get together then? Would the familiarity make things better, or worse? Would we settle in like an old comfortable pair of jeans, or would we grow quickly bored? How much difference does time really make? It’s funny how we grow and change and mature, yet, there are corners of our heart that stay the same. They hold the same memories, the same feelings, the same desires.

I don’t know. My tarot cards, my flame staring, my herb tea… none of those predict the future. But for now, I’ll curl up here and think of familiar things, in my cashmere sweater that I’ve had for years, hot chocolate and Christmas music. And I’ll think about familiarity, and him.

silkysmoothlegs3 105F

11/22/2005 8:51 am

I feel like that at times anf it torments me..

try leave past behaind its so hard i know

silky xx


sassybelle21 32F
13313 posts
11/22/2005 9:00 am

as a taurus, i'm very traditional which can be translated as, i like things that i'm familiar with in this context. however, once a relationship ends, i will never go back to the same ex-bf. he is an ex-bf for a reason. i never wanna let history repeats itself cuz i don't wanna get hurt again. no matter how some good moments keep playing in my head, i just take them as good memories.


swingweight3 56M

11/22/2005 9:39 am

It seems it might be a 'fail-safe' built into human-nature - specifically that we tend to remember the good, and "forget" the; "not-so-good". We all think back fondly of the past - your dog when you were a kid - how much fun you had with him/her, how you loved that darn dog...but, we don't like to remember the many times it snapped at us, or friends, or when it pee'd all over your favorite "?". etc, etc...

Same analogy for past loves - a heck of a lot easier on us to remember just the good times...we'd be tormented beyond understanding if things were equally remembered in our brains...this is one good reason we only use 10% of the 'noodle'.

And yes, the Holiday's tend to pry open those past fond memories even more...makes it tough to focus and remember that the most exciting things in life...are those we've yet to discover.


rm_Ptalk1155 34M
3450 posts
11/22/2005 9:45 am

I have a friend just like that. I see her every month or two. The familiarity actually makes it awkward, because we know each other, yet we don't. She's involved, and each of us still feels that pull though neither of us want to complicate her other relationship. So basically, we sit and make small talk as though we were strangers.

I'd hope for you that if you saw him again it would not be the same way.


AltumHunksUnite 53M

11/22/2005 10:22 am

This is a nice post, Sunney.

Let me drive. I like the view


SunneyOne 43F

11/22/2005 12:34 pm

LOL.. Thanks Cleavis. 'Tho I am hearing the negatives loud and clear from everyone else.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
11/22/2005 8:17 pm

We seem to be on a similar page... A picture tells a thousand words...


singleswinger666 29M
3 posts
11/22/2005 9:33 pm

i thin you make a good point sunney. Just remember that the past already happenend we observe it time and time again and thats ok. rememeber most survivable conflicts provide opertunitys for one to improve ones self. Going back to reflect is fine as long as you dont look back and think about how much better things were then they are now. when you look bback dont just think about the good times and what could have been, look at the shitty ones and be glad. dont regreat it wont get you any place.


2muchwoman4some 41F

11/23/2005 12:05 pm

no comment, lol. But I do want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.


sleeplessknight1 68M

11/23/2005 1:03 pm

Sunney
it is said that familiarity breeds contempt......I think that
is too harsh......
Agree, "if its familiar its comfortable....."
and No, you would not get bored, because there would be lots
of news to catch up on.....
Dreams are great......and they do come true..


SunneyOne 43F

11/23/2005 7:11 pm

2much... c'mon, YOU, with no comment? I know better than that.


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