Do Something For Me  

SunneyOne 44F
2146 posts
11/14/2005 7:00 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Do Something For Me

My boss has told me that it is possible to get people to do things for you merely by asking. He has a formula, and it works damn near every time. It goes something like this. “I have a problem. I was wondering if you could help me. Could you do something for me?” That’s the main gist of it, with specifications inserted. I’ll be damned if it doesn’t work.

Apparently this is a lesson that has been taught to quite a few men. However, I am surprised that they seriously think it will work to win them a blow job.

Right. That’s what I said. A blow job. Since when does kissing someone entitle them to a blow job? And at the age of (mumble mumble) 32, do you seriously think I’m buying the blue balls story anymore? I stopped buying that at 17 for chrissakes.

I’m not putting a time on this episode as in tonight, this past weekend, last month or whatever, because it has happened numerous times. Be ashamed, gents, if you’re reading this. Nice date, relatively normal, to include hand holding, arm stroking and kissing. Then the kiss progresses to the male panting, whispering heatedly, “Do something for me…” God, that’s the beginning of disaster. My eyes are already rolling.

But I play along, as if I have never been dealt this hand before. “What’s that?”

“I have a problem. My cock is so hard right now. Can you help me? Just suck my dick for me?”

What I said was a very coy, “No, I don’t think so. Not tonight. Thanks for everything, but you should go.”

It is all I can do to keep from kicking him in the groin and squealing, “Are you fucking kidding me, you ignorant bastard? Do you not think I’ve heard this pathetic line before? Am I 17 that I would fall for this crap? Do I look like a sexual Mother Teresa who would have sympathy for your ‘plight’? Here’s something for you, fool. You should have kissed me then left. Called me tomorrow and asked me out again. Kept your blue ball stories to yourself, and in not so long, you MIGHT have had that blow job. But NOW?!?! Noooooo, no blow job for you, you fucktard. And by the way, thanks for ruining what I had imagined to be a lovely date with your cavemanesque, Neanderthal, knuckle-dragging line. Now, please… do something for me. Leave.”

That’s what I should have said.

bardicman 50M

11/14/2005 7:45 pm

Does this mean a hand job is out of the question?

I am not dead yet

ArgosPlumyKooky 45F
3902 posts
11/14/2005 7:56 pm

your boss is right, and you are right on too. stupid fucks, lots of times icannot go on either, but heh, i make it.


keithcancook 60M
17865 posts
11/14/2005 8:03 pm

I have heard the theory that men have one-track minds. What's a body to do?

SunneyOne 44F

11/15/2005 3:50 am

bardic - I'm laughing, really, you just can't tell.

snatch - I know! For godsakes, go the bathroom and rub one out if you hafta, but behave. Ugh.

keith - Well, once a man becomes a man, he should know when it's appropriate to be that way.

weineroftheworld 66M

11/15/2005 10:27 pm

I have been a very successful manager of people using the same tactic. I seldom told people what to do. I asked them to do a favor for me. Or, I would word my request so they would tell me what needed to be done, and I let them think they made the choice of what to do. As to the 'other' request, ws men can be such idiots sometimes. I am almost ashamed to be identified with them. If I could, I would become a lesbian.
Since I can't, I have a problem. I have a hard on and need to make it go away. Can you help?

rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
11/16/2005 12:26 am

i love that term... fucktard!


SunneyOne 44F

11/16/2005 5:41 am

weiner - Nice. Yeah, business - wise it's great. For the purpose of getting a BG, neanderthal.

titsandtires - Great nick.

rm_MustangD6644 52M
1031 posts
11/17/2005 3:37 pm

Sunney unfortunately you are still dating guys who only think with little brain, but now by being tough on such behaviour you are saving yourself anguish later in a relationship because guys like that will not consider your pleasure at all.
Because they have not learnt the importance of having "Brain Sex" with a lady.
I feel certain that if that particular man had been concentrating on you and getting you all hot and bothered then he would have received his much hoped for BG anyway and it would have been far more enjoyable to be given it rather than haing to ask for it.

Unfortunately most men do not learn about this until it is to late, and some never learn at all.

LovableEclectic 59F

11/19/2005 8:48 am

Once again - you write what I think about but cannot express so eloquently. What is up with the sympathy thing? Would they ever dream of asking you to...say...clean their ears? Wax-filled ears can be rather uncomfortable...and screaming for attention.
"I have a ear canals are clogged and goddammit they itch and the pressure is building and I am aching for some relief. If you do this one thing for me you will be special to me forever. What? I can't hear you. Did you say 'Want the fun cajun.'?"

WTF, Caveman?


danteszippo 52M
3902 posts
11/21/2005 12:37 am

as the old phrase goes. "if you have to ask..."

It usually helps if a guy gives some attention to the womans needs first with his oral skills, then if it happens it happens.You don't have to ask (and it usually happens, luckily.)

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