An Open Letter to Roy Jones, Jr.  

SunneyOne 43F
2146 posts
8/30/2005 7:10 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

An Open Letter to Roy Jones, Jr.

Dear Roy,

Roy Jones, Jr. Can you hear me grunting when I say that? Roy Jones, mothafuc*in’ Jr. I can’t say your name without fist pounding, growling, testosterone infused enthusiasm. I love you. Okay, I feel better. Now, on with the letter. You are the self proclaimed best fighter, pound for pound. I have recently been taught that perhaps, dear Roy, you should specify best BOXER. I will agree. Seriously, have you watched UFC? Do some kicking, grappling, mounting… oh, huh? Yeah, that’d be hot. But… beside the point. You are a 5 time world champion in 4 different weight classes. Grrrr… ass kicking!

I see that you are scheduled to fight Antonio Tarver October 1st here in Tampa. I have not yet received my personal invitation and press pass from you so, no, I’m not going. Tickets are ridiculous, and you get better “seats” watching on HBO; unless of course you need me in your corner for my wisdom and moral support. You know I’m there for you, Roy. If I can’t be in your corner, then my couch will have to do. This is a rematch though; Tarver knocked you out last time you fought. I saw it and cursed him with one of those little dolls with pins. (Think left upper cut.) I’d say Tarver best be ready for some hell to be unleashed.

But Roy, I hear that the WBC has said you have to be examined by a neurosurgeon before this fight. This concerns me. I realize that you have been knocked out cold the last two fights. I am sure you have much wisdom to impart to young fighters and your three sons still. Please, consider the fate of the great Ali and stop when you should. Why should I be so concerned? Well, Roy, don’t you remember me?

We met last time you fought in Tampa, while you were working out. I was the only girl there. I grinned like an idiot and couldn’t form a complete sentence other than to beg you to punch me. Remember now? I have a picture with you, ‘cept that it has faded, bent and become rather marred from all the lipstick kisses. Not sure who did that…

At any rate, Roy. I just wanted to wish you luck, and again offer my services as a corner morale supporter. I will be watching and hoping you kick Tarver’s gloating ass in such a sure and brain jarring fashion that he is scared to even THINK about a rematch. I would also hold your belts for you, wipe the sweat from your brow and tend to any cuts that you have. Can I hold your ice for you? Your spit bucket? (I would prefer the belt holding job as that would allow for cuter outfits on my part, but the sweat wiping is a close second.)

Your most hugest fan and devoted defender,

P.S. I’m not a stalker. Promise.

(Juan S)
2642 posts
8/30/2005 10:10 am

Hmm...only to have devoted fans such as you...LOL

LarvaValvePeers 46M

8/30/2005 11:21 am

sounds like i might be in trouble if he ever finds out about this .lol

LarvaValvePeers 46M

8/30/2005 11:23 am

i may have to take up boxing, or eating alot of sushi.

SunneyOne 43F

8/30/2005 1:09 pm

Siz- Aww, punkin, you already do. I can be a fan for lotsa people.

DC - I've just received a message from Roy, who is a faithful blog reader as it is his best way to keep up with his favorite fan's day to day life. (honest!) Roy says to tell you that you are only in trouble if you don't keep me happy. Then he says he'll show you who's the best fighter pound for pound if I don't get enough lovin'. Yeah, really, that's what he said.

(my fingers are gonna cramp if I keep 'em crossed like this)

eroticneurotic 46M

8/30/2005 3:43 pm

Good one Sunney, I like that, especially where you corrected him on being the best "fighter", ha ha. I hate to say this, but I wouldn't bet against Tarver on this one.(as he ducks, weaves and ducks again)

DC, Sushi and Mixed Martail Arts would work better, besides if you master that you could take Roy out. I'd be glad to train you sometime in the art of fighting, oh yes, it is an art. I think you've already mastered the art of the whip. lol

SunneyOne 43F

8/30/2005 4:21 pm

EROTIC!!! What the hell??? Are you suggesting that you train DC to take Roy out? Are you insane? Are you just TRYING to piss me off? I gave you the "fighter" comment. Don't be tryin to take my boy Roy out now.

DC - No need to take up boxing, just watch it with me and forgive any stray punches. Same with sushi. You don't have to eat it, just feed it to me. And reap the rewards.

LarvaValvePeers 46M

8/30/2005 8:05 pm

hhhhhmmm i dont know train to whip ol roy and eat sushi with you sounds like a much better deal to me . lol

SunneyOne 43F

8/31/2005 4:23 am

How about train, no actual whipping of Roy, and eat sushi w/ me? Will that work?

eroticneurotic 46M

8/31/2005 4:16 pm

Hey Sunney, I'm not TRYING to piss you off, I was just trying to help your/my friend DC out, besides, wouldn't that benefit you the most in the log run? LOL Who's the one that's gonna be by your side when it really counts? DC, not Roy. Although I am JFWY, it's true and you know it.

Besides, all due respect to Roy as a boxer and as you're favorite, but I would love to shut him up just for a little while about being the greatest "fighter" in the world. How about a rear naked choke(my personal fav) to put him out for a few minutes, that's all, just a few minutes? (Yes, he ducks, bobs, weaves and ducks again) (OHH, she got me on the return weave!)

SunneyOne 43F

9/1/2005 6:39 am

Wait... give me a second to think about you and Roy and something rear naked. Riiiiight. Shhh, almost...almost....

eroticneurotic 46M

9/1/2005 2:58 pm

Psshht! Like I always say, aren't you just f#cking hilarious, just for that I should put him out indefinitely.

SunneyOne 43F

9/1/2005 7:06 pm

*snort* C'mon now, Erotic. I'm not doubtin' your skillZ (with a Z even) at all, but you... putting Roy out...? Uhm, sorry, something in my throat...*masking a giggle*

LarvaValvePeers 46M

9/1/2005 8:11 pm

my money is on erotic. he'd make roy his bitch in the first..

SunneyOne 43F

9/2/2005 4:19 am

I'm aghast at both of you. I just hope that Roy doesn't hear about this, for both of your sakes. Tsk tsk tsk...

LarvaValvePeers 46M

9/2/2005 9:08 pm

he comes around me and i'll make him my bitch, two hits, me hitting him , him hitting the floor. then i'll take a pic of him while he's out with my dick on his forhead just for good measure. take that roy!! lol

SunneyOne 43F

9/3/2005 6:12 am

Why am I suddenly reminded of Joe Dirt slapping his biceps? "You think this is queer? How 'bout this?" Okay, I suppose even men have their fantasies...

*snickers and runs*

eroticneurotic 46M

9/3/2005 1:36 pm

Biotch pleeze, like DC said, I'd take in the first round. He'd be on the ground so fast he wouldn't know what happened, from there he wouldn't know what to do and it would be over. You think I'm kidding here? Not at all. Now, I would not try to stand toe to toe with him because that's his game and he's damn good at it, but I would dominate him on the ground and there's no way he could stopo me from taking him there. Can you sat TAP OUT! He's just a man and I ain't skeerd of men.

eroticneurotic 46M

9/3/2005 1:39 pm

Yeah DC, that would be a good picture. Tap OUT could use it on a shirt or something. Saying, "World's greatest fighter, What?"

SunneyOne 43F

9/3/2005 3:07 pm

I'm verklempt; talk amongst yourselves.

Can't even comment. Gasping for air.

a_poetman 45M

10/6/2005 1:17 pm


Tarver def. Jones; Unanimous decision.

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